Mick Dagger's 2024 Guide to Origins of SinAquatic EditionFor an overview of Origins of Sin check out Mick Dagger’s 2024 Guide to Origins of Sin! See also Mick Dagger's Guide to the Black Tusks! Welcome, Aquatic Sinners, to a moderately priced guide to the world of waterways of Origins of Sin, I’m our host Mick Dagger, your friendly neighbourhood Goblin. You might remember me from such spectacular successes like “Totally Legit Documents”* or “Totally Safe Tours”*. While it should go without saying, this is an OOC (out of character) guide with some IC (in character) flavour, it’s meant to be fun, silly and still informative. Please do not take it as in-character. Of note, whenever possible we've used SL water for our waterways and when that fails we've opted for a scripted 3d water prim that reacts with a free swimming AO found here. We've also added a "Water" menu on our hud teleport. These locations are aquatics friendly! Click the "TP" button on your hud and choose "water". * The ‘Totally’ Franchise offers no guarantees on any of its products or services. The name of a Franchise is no way an indication of quality of products or services. The Realms Rated for Wetness
So how do we come to this rating? It’s simple really… we take into account the presence of water, the level of water, deduct for the toxicity of water, add the bribes where applicable, times by capitalism and then solve for x. I’m kidding. The rating is entirely arbitrary and is subject to change without notice. Also, my orc-tourney at law says I have to say that we cannot be held accountable for any injuries that result in following this guide. He also says I have to tell you that if you need a good orc-tourney at law don’t worry, you can still hire him… he’s a big deal. Why not Brokil? The Cabbala Amartia💦💦💦 : Damp** ** The Cabbala Amartia did not, in any way, bribe or extort a higher rating out of Mick Dagger. The Cabbala is deep underground but that doesn’t mean there are no waterways. Down the center of the main cavern is a canal that runs from the bath house all the way to just in front of the Keep. Under the central platform where some weird crystal thing is housed there is a playful torture scene, you know, in case you want to get your tickle on. The bath house also has some mer-friendly furniture. Between the bath house and the bridge there is a ledge where you can remain in the water but still order something from the Bound Elf… handy, that! Just outside the bath house is a portal that represents about a mile of submerged tunnels that lead to the Nascentia ocean. Not only is this great for a quick escape, it also means you can get to the Cabbala without leaving the water! The Kingdom of Helheim💦💦💦💦 : Wet The Helheim harbour connects to the Nascentia Ocean but also has a tunnel portal that leads to the Helheim sewers. Going through the tunnel will drop you in the sewer waterway! Heading north along the sea wall you’ll come to the canal heading east. If you follow this canal you'll wind up in the Great Forest waterways! There is another watery entrance to the sewers found here as well. The rest of the city is dotted with various fountains but accessing them means stepping out of the water. On the bright side if you do step out of water for some reason and need to make a quick escape, there are many many points of egress straight into the ocean. Not that you would need to flee Helheim, I’m sure you never cause any trouble. Skull Coast💦💦💦💦 : Wet Some of you may think that I will be biased when writing about Skull Coast. Nothing could be further from the truth! Ask anyone, they will tell you that Skull Coast has the best waterways and the brightest orcs, the most beautiful creatures and the most benevolent tyrant. The watery entrance to Skull Coast is found at the base of the imposing cliff where the skull that gives the land its name spits a waterfall. Not only will you find rich underwater development but Skull Coast denizens interact with the watery folk at the edge of Grotsam, the main market area. There are sandy beaches and low walkways that are great for picking land walkers off for a snack... or just chatting with them. Even some of the hidden tunnels are submerged and accessible. And lets not forget the first attempt at building the Hound & Eel tavern, there were many OSHA violations and the tavern wound up on the ocean floor. The Great Forest💦💦💦 : Damp Long after the forest was decimated by red mist and dragon fire, after the druids focused their energy to regrow the forest, the place shows no signs of the rot and destruction it experienced. Now the crater -- former location of the Jade Lotus Empire -- is a thriving lake. Due to SL limitations this lake is part SL water and part prim water (this prim water reacts with a free swim hud you can find here). A swimmable subterranean river mirrors the path of the surface river and joins its surface pal under the former Black Tusk camp, then continues on to the Helheim canal. Imperial Nekoyami Territory💦💦 : Moist The former home of the Jade Lotus Empire, this territory has undergone some changes over the years. When you use the HUD TP (Nomad-Jade Portal) or find the tree portal in the Great Forest, you are transported to an island surrounded by a river. Follow this river downstream and you'll wind up in a murky lake. This contains the volumetric water that you can swim in with the free swim hud. There are also hot springs and rice fields but these are not connected to the main water way except by land or, if you prefer, you can have an Air Kami carry you! Don’t forget you can purchase and Air Kami Express card from me for 5c! The Swamp💦💦💦 : Damp If you can stand the smell and avoid the gators there is actually a fair sized swimming area in the swamp. It connects to the ocean via the Helheim canal. The water close to shore is too shallow to swim but the deeper water is in chat range so you can still lure air breathers. Bonus, the swamp is deep enough to hide a reasonable sized dragon! The Nascentia Ocean💦💦💦💦💦 : Deluge Very wet. It’s a freakin’ ocean. It’s so big, in fact, I’m going to list points of interest with coordinates because otherwise this guide would get intense!
The Hellscape💦 : Dry Do lava pools count? Just kidding! While there is a river of lava and a couple of pools of lava, there is also a subterranean creek. Not as cool as the lava-falls that flow under a balcony in one of the hidden structures, but it is wet. Not really deep enough to swim in, but you can lay about. One of the secret rooms in the subterranean tunnels also sports shallow water. The Ethereal Realm💦💦 : Moist More floating islands and in this place even a couple flying whales! But… very little in the way of water. If you can find your way to it, one of the floating islands has a deep enough pond to swim in, complete with koi fish to snack on. Er… swim with. Another of the floating islands has ankle deep water in the form of a fountain. If you’re not able to make it from island to island on your own then good luck visiting these watery havens. In ConclusionThat’s all folks. Go forth and drown your land bound peers with the confidence of an orc wooing an elven maiden. Or embark on an adventure with your fellow aquatics that eschews the troubles and politics of the air breathing realm.
Oh, and, if you need any other moderately priced services from the ‘Totally’ franchise, don’t hesitate to reach out to me… Mick Dagger… for literally anything you can pay coin for. Which is literally everything. Mick Dagger's 2024 Guide to Origins of SinYou know that old adage, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it," well, sometimes things break. In fact, when you're working with orcs and goblins, lots of things break. In this case, Mick Dagger's Guide to Origins of Sin broke when the sim underwent some heavy changes. So... here I am to fix it. So without further adieu, welcome, Sinners, to a moderately priced guide to the world of Origins of Sin, I’m our host Mick Dagger, your friendly neighbourhood Goblin. You might remember me from such spectacular successes like “Totally Legit Documents”* or “Totally Safe Tours”*. When first entering the realm of Sincadere you have two options… entering blind by stumbling through a random portal from your own world (so long as it’s not a Sci-Fi or modern realm) or taking the time to read up on the world’s lore to arm yourself for what’s to come. Either option is just as viable and if at first you don’t succeed… well, there are plenty of character slots on the hud. * The ‘Totally’ Franchise offers no guarantees on any of its products or services. The name of a Franchise is no way an indication of quality of products or services.Important Things of NoteThe Quick Start GuideSo you’re here, in Sincadere, but… do you REALLY have to read the lore? Not at all! If you would like a quick start to RP simply make your character as you would normally (no children, no sci-fi, no canon characters, making sure your attire fits the aesthetic according to the rules) and then stumble your sexy ass through a portal. These random portals first started appearing about 500ish years ago after a cataclysmic event and while they’ve become less numerous they are still a problem. Now you have a long term goal to try and find a way home… but it may be impossible. Shucks! If you DO wish to read the lore you can find it here. The Golden Rule![]() Origins of Sin is a consent based sim. That means that people don’t have to agree to your plan of action! If someone is standing around and you haven’t seen them make an RP post, then they have not yet consented to RP and you just ignore that they are there. On the flip side of that though, if they haven’t posted in, they can’t see or hear anything that’s happened. When in doubt about consent, just drop a friendly DM on your scene partner to check in. Some people are here for shenanigans, some want long term serious stories, we accommodate everyone! Extra CharactersYou have access to 8 character slots on the hud so once you’ve had a look around if you find yourself inspired to try out a new character, no problem! Simply create a new character on the hud and carry on. You can switch between characters with a couple easy clicks. Deer Skulls
Additional SupportEvery few months the sim offers seminars on Combat, RP Etiquette and RP mechanics that are a bit beyond the basics (so we call it Advanced RP). You don’t have to wait for one of these seminars though, all the information on the website and any of the friendly staff, or helpful mentors, will be happy to answer your questions. Random Portals (That Aren't So Random)In that nebulous place known as Oh-oh-cee (OOC) you will find a wide range of tools to support you… from a listing of the staff and their availability, to information on the realm’s three factions and their guilds. There is a calendar of events, links to various websites (spiders not included) and, of course, the realm portals. The Kingdom of Helheim The first of the portals is flanked by two imposing figures of stone knights leading to Helheim. When you first walk through this portal you’ll find yourself standing at the front gate with the farmland on one side and the city on the other. The city itself is populated with mostly humans (NPC humans that is) but much of its leadership is non-human… which certainly doesn’t engender any resentment among the locals. If you hang around in Helheim long enough you’ll eventually learn that until about 500 years ago Sincadere’s only sentient population was humans and it was their overuse and abuse of magic that caused The Cataclysm. That is, the event that ripped open portals to other realms and made it possible for non-humans to infiltrate the world! This city is situated on three levels with the display of wealth in dwellings increasing the higher you climb. The highest level is where the Helheim castle sits. On the middle tier rests the Markets which are often bustling with activity. Don't let your feet get tired, if you want to move from the Dock to the Marketplace, take the fancy ass magical elevator! The Cabbala AmartiaIf you thought you smelled blood, you are correct. The portal to the Cabbala Amartia (most often just referred to as Cabbala) is as red as blood and flanked by terrifying figures that drip what I assume is actual blood. But as imposing as it is, it is possible to navigate the dark regions of the subterranean world of the Cabbala and survive to share your experience. I highly recommend the 5 copper ‘Totally Safe’ Tour. For all its chaos, the Cabbala is ruled by the iron fist and fluffy butt of the Archon. She’s a wonder to behold and I’ve spent many a night imagin- er… but she’s also bat shit crazy. Don’t stand too close or make any sudden movements. Hold perfectly still, I heard she can only track movement. Or was that Ogres? It doesn’t matter, I’m sure you’ll be fine. When you first travel through the portal (there is another portal in the swamps on the edge of the Great Forest) you’ll find yourself smack between the Fool’s Market and the Bound Elf Tavern. Either will make your purse feel a lot lighter. There’s lots to see, but dominating the end of the huge cavern is the imposing and possibly oppressive presence of the castle… keep… fortress? Look, you can’t miss it, it’s miles tall and built right into the rock face. Next to the Keep-Castle-thing you might spot the mysterious tower of the Cabbala College of Obscure Arts, the longest running witch’s knitting circle this side of the Great Forest. KIDDING, my ire has nothing to do with the fact that the CCOA’s wealthiest sponsor has been trying to kill me for years. Across the canal from the Bound Elf get your freak on and indulge in decadence in the Den. I don’t go in there often, in part because I was banished for being too freaky for their tastes, if you can believe that… or maybe because I robbed one too many patrons. If you need a quick escape, as I often do, and can hold your breath for 20 or so minutes, which I cannot do, I heard a rumour there is an entrance to submerged tunnels in the canal that leads out to the Nascentia ocean. The Skull CoastAh home sweet home. The Black Tusks of Skull Coast started out as a guild in Helheim, protecting the Great Forest. So much happened to get them to the territory they reside in now... and for just a few coppers you can get someone to tell you that story! Several versions of that story, in fact. When you first walk through the portal you'll find yourself on the bustling dock of Grotsam where you will be assaulted... er... crowded by... er... there are many goblins and they will offer to sell you their wares! Use the elevator or the ramp to head up to the surface (check you still have your coin purse) and you will be met with a vast and untamed jungle. Everything here can either kill you or rob you, so be careful. Visit the sites, buy something from the Bow`Teef Shop, and offer tribute to the Gorgun. The HUD TP LocationsIn addition to the main portals you have access to quick teleports from the HUD's "TP" button. OOC - This takes you to the Landing Zone or the Events platform and when there is an OOC party another teleport may be shown here. Nomad - These are all neutral, or areas unclaimed by Factions. Water - These teleports go directly into water sources, for our aquatic and amphibious characters. Nascentia - These are also neutral areas but specifically the Hellscape and Ethereal builds, areas for additional diversity in your RP scenes. Skull Coast, Helheim and Cabbala - These offer several Faction specific land marks for your convenience! In ConclusionWe’re all here to have fun and make profit. Well, I’m here for profit anyway. If you encounter some oh-oh-cee (OOC) ugliness, don’t hesitate to reach out to staff for guidance. Keep the tension and torture in character and have a blast obliterating your enemies or seducing your latest lover.
Oh, and, if you need any other moderately priced services from the ‘Totally’ franchise, don’t hesitate to reach out to me… Mick Dagger… for literally anything you can pay coin for. Which is literally everything. This just in....
Gaboon lost his virginity before his father did. Gaboon doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. The dinosaurs looked at Gaboon the wrong way once. You know what happened to them. Gaboon's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Gaboon does not sleep. He waits. Gaboon recently had the idea to sell his pee as a purchased beverage. It’s now called Mog Juice. Eclipses happen when Gaboon challenges the sun to a staring contest and the sun blinks. Gaboon can lead a horse to water AND make it drink. Gaboon built the hut he grew up in. Gaboon was once bitten by a snake. Five days later the snake died. Gaboon's belly flop is so powerful it shattered Fevren's career. Gaboon can believe its not butter. Gaboon sleeps with a candle...not because he's afraid of the dark but because the dark fears Gaboon. Gaboon died many years ago, the Destroyer just hasn't worked up the courage to come for him. Gaboon can have his cake and eat it too. The first banana tree grew from where Gaboon's toenail clippings were buried. Gaboon is a craftsman and his number one product is pain. Gabbon has counted to infinity....twice. Champions are the breakfast of Gaboon. Gaboon does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Gaboon goes killing. The big bang was caused by Gaboon's cheeks clapping. Gaboon can kill two stones with one bird. Gaboon does not contribute to the pot, the pot contributes to Gaboon. Gaboon makes onions cry. Death once had a near-Gaboon experience. Gaboon can drown a fish. Gaboon once punched a man in the soul. The moon doesn't cause the tides, it's Gaboon wading into the ocean. The sun does not orbit the Earth, it orbits Gaboon, who just happens to live there. Rain is just the sky weeping at Gaboon's glory. Gaboon does not get frostbite, Gaboon bites frost. Gaboon does not take showers, he takes blood baths. Gaboon ordered a steak once...and that steak did what it was told. Gaboon doesn't walk. His steps move the earth under his feet to where he wishes to be. Gaboon can fight himself and win. Gaboon can punch himself in the back of the head. Gaboon can start a fire with two icicles. Gaboon sneezes with his eyes open. Gaboon doesn't breath, he holds air hostage. Gaboon is never late because time waits for him. Santa orc was real...until he forgot a gift for Gaboon. Gaboon can speak Braille. Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but Jack still couldn't dodge Gaboon's meaty fist. The reason krakens don't have bones is because Gaboon broke them all in an arm wrestling contest. Gaboon can get in a bucket and lift it up with himself in it. Gaboon won an arm wrestling tournament without using his arms. Gaboon once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are now known as giraffes. Gaboon beat a statue in a staring contest. There is a book about Gaboon. Its called the Sincadere book of records. Gaboon wanted to boost a Grot's confidence once so he intentionally tried to fail. His failure caused the JLE to rise into the sky and form the Tusk's new forests. Gaboon's belly flop is so powerful it broke Helheim's royal line. Gaboon sneezed once and all the snaga in the camp got pregnant. When Mog said 'Let there be light!' Gaboon said 'Say Please.' If you want a list of Gaboon's enemies, just look up the extinct species list. The red mists really did originate from the tusk camps, Gaboon had case of bad gas and ordered the jicho's to cover up the truth. The only time Gaboon was ever afraid was the first time he saw his own reflection. Gaboon is the unstoppable force AND the immoveable object. Mick Dagger's Guide to Origins of Sin Wilderness Rebuild Edition For an overview of Origins of Sin check out Mick Dagger’s 2024 Guide to Origins of Sin! For a review of the world’s wetness, check out Mick Dagger’s 2024 Guide to Origins of Sin: Aquatic Edition! Also check out Mick Dagger’s Guide to the Black Tusks! Welcome, Sinners, to a moderately priced guide to the recent rebuild of the Forest and Swamp of Sincadere, I’m our host Mick Dagger, your friendly neighbourhood Goblin. You might remember me from such spectacular successes like “Totally Got You Covered Insurance Agency”* or “Armour Structural Services for Helheim Armour Testing” also known as A.S.S.H.A.T. While it should go without saying, this is an OOC (out of character) guide with some IC (in character) flavour, it’s meant to be fun, silly and still informative. Please do not take it as in-character. * The ‘Totally’ Franchise offers no guarantees on any of its products or services. The name of a Franchise is no way an indication of quality of products or services. The Story of the Red MistKnowing that we wanted to rebuild the forest and swamp, the staff initiated a story involving a mysterious red mist that infiltrated the forest and began to rot not just the vegetation but the animals, though they remained ambulatory. ZOMBIES! AHHHH. Players were given the option of allowing their characters to also become infected by the red rot. Much fun and many amazing storylines spawned from this RP. Many efforts were made to destroy the rapidly spreading rot, none of them bearing any fruit. Hur hur, get it? Eventually it came down to laying waste to the wilderness. The Day of DragonsAfter many attempts to destroy the rot in the forest and swamp it finally came down to Sincadere’s dragons to lay waste to the countryside. For 48 hours we progressively destroyed the forest with auto-spawning fire and removing vegetation. Helheim put up a magical barrier along their wall to protect from smoke, ash and heat. Weather witches and creatures with large wingspans worked to push smoke and ash away from the floating Isles of the Jade Lotus Empire Bloom, Baby, Bloom!Once the forest was nothing more than an ashy countryside it came time for the druids and naturalists to shine. Led by one of our own, the Bah-Jicho Nimue the Murder Pony, hundreds banded together from every direction of Sindacare, working side by side collecting seeds from various specimens, and catching untainted wildlife from unaffected parts of the world. Folks came out in droves to help in their own way to cause a mass explosion of growth in the wreckage where the Forest once stood. The New Forest!Starting from the Helheim gate you can follow the road toward the Totally Safe Canyon* (not its actual name). On the left are a few huts of many pebbles and a little cave, on the right a field of lavender with a golem roaming around. Oh yeah, and the death place, a field were many a courtier has met at dawn… or noon… to cross swords. Great for betting. Behind the field of death you’ll find a (deer skull!) caravan and an abandoned mine shaft that recently started glowing, weird. Watch yourself on the road toward the Totally Safe Canyon*, things might jump out of dark archways. The canyon itself is an excellent place for wealthy merchants to travel, no need for protection as the Black Tusks will keep an eye out on everyone from the cliffs above. Have no fear, it is totally safe. Onward toward the Jade Lotus Empire teleport you’ll find the ever popular campfire survived the rebuild as did the crater which is now a lake! Some are calling it Crater Lake, others, Jade Lake, wonder what will stick? The lake itself has a swimmable subterranean river that leads, eventually, to the ocean. Watch out for the petrified ogre shit! Departing the Totally Safe Canyon toward the Swamp you can veer right and plow through the wilderness to find the Fae Glade. The glade sports both a Winter Court throne and a Summer Court throne, as well as many petite avatar animations. Check out the waterfall! Next to the Fae Glade you’ll find a cavern of residences with a (deer skull) cabin on top. One of the nearby trees has a weird glow around it, wonder what that's all about. Across the road you’ll find the impressive Black Tusk camp, feared by all and also desired by all (though I’m biased, what do I know?). Finally, the path leads to the swamp. * The ‘Totally’ Franchise offers no guarantees on any of its products or services. The name of a Franchise is no way an indication of quality of products or services. The New Swamp!When first entering the swamp from the forest you’ll find the path quickly leads to the entrance to the Cabbala. Unlike the Jade Lotus Empire who has a teleport, this represents a series of tunnels delving deep under the swamp. Behind the Cabbala entrance you’ll find a (deer skull) cabin with many cats and arcane accouterments If, however, you follow the stone path west instead of heading for the Cabbala entrance, you’ll find yourself running into first a dock (with a boat rezzer!) next to two swamp hut rentals. Further down the path is the graveyard, watch out for the flocking murder of crows! Behind the graveyard is a small beach and a (deer skull) tree house with more of a group focus. In ConclusionThat’s all for this guide, folks. Go forth and frolic in the newfound growth of the forest or wallow in the soggy bottom depths of the swamp but do so knowing the story of how this new wilderness came to be.
Oh, and, if you need any other moderately priced services from the ‘Totally’ franchise, don’t hesitate to reach out to me… Mick Dagger… for literally anything you can pay coin for. Which is literally everything. For an overview of Origins of Sin check out Mick Dagger’s 2024 Guide to Origins of Sin! For a review of the world’s wetness, check out Mick Dagger’s 2024 Guide to Origins of Sin: Aquatic Edition! Welcome, Sinners, to a moderately priced guide to the world of The Black Tusks of Origins of Sin, I’m our host Mick Dagger, your friendly neighbourhood Goblin. You might remember me from such spectacular successes like “Totally Legit Documents”* or “The Great Goblin Gasilica”. While it should go without saying, this is an OOC (out of character) guide with some IC (in character) flavour, it’s meant to be fun, silly and still informative. Please do not take it as in-character. * The ‘Totally’ Franchise offers no guarantees on any of its products or services. The name of a Franchise is no way an indication of quality of products or services. Much More Than a Grimy Surface The Black Tusks are one of the oldest guilds on Origins of Sin, but before Origins the Tusks have about a decade of history on various other sims. It doesn’t matter what race you are playing, anyone can join the Tusks if they agree to live by our means, in a more tribal way of life. We defy stereotypes at the same time as embracing them. You are just as likely to find a hulking and menacing orc ready to tear you apart, as you are to find a gentle soul that wants only to see you happy. On asking members of the tribe what is the one thing you wished someone had told you when you first approached the group, the one that stood out the most was… how approachable people are on an out of character level. Many of us play shitholes in character but we are definitely not those people in real life. When in doubt, drop a DM on your scene partner and check in. Welcome to the Tribe Anyone is welcome to enter the camp, but only members of the Tribe may venture into the caves where the Tribe makes its home. These tunnels and caverns have been painstakingly dug out by goblins and snaga alike. Most of these tunnels are “off screen” and house things like our elderly, the shoats (a term for our offspring), or mushroom or meat beetle farms. Any newcomer to camp will be met with the face-punching aroma of Orc musk and chicken feces, as well as a cacophony of sounds from a bustling camp. NPC goblins and orcs (as well as the other varied races that make up the Black Tusks) move about camp, avoiding blows, starting fights, betting on fights, or generally working on tasks that benefit the camp, such as tending The Pot or curing hides. Wise petitioners bring a gift for the Gorgun, the fat hearty tyrant that rules the Black Tusks with an iron fist. Many are surprised at the decorum expected of everyone, comparing it to the rituals observed in a gilded marble hall of an elven king. Instead of marble, the floor is covered in mud and instead of courtiers the camp is filled with unwashed bodies and roaming chickens. And yet the Gorgun has a herald (one who is very proud of his job) and if the rituals are not observed then someone may incur the wrath of our grotesque leader. Those who arrive hoping to join the Tusks are put to a test of combat to honour the Iron One. This fight allows us to teach new Tusks the ins and outs of HUD combat and to gauge their ability to ‘give good flop’, that is, when being struck or losing a fight, do they demonstrate appropriate theatrics to bolster their opponent. No one wants to do battle with someone who brushes off every strike as if it was nothing. We want to see the drama! The blood! The THEATRE. Winning the fight does not mean you are automatically accepted to the Tribe. Heed (social structure) Once you’ve joined the Tribe you are a grot. A nobody. A grot who causes trouble for outsiders will be disavowed. In truth the Gorgun probably doesn’t even know your name! But once you’ve proven yourself you can earn a pip, or level, in one of the Three Eyes of Mog (more on that later). Rank is very strictly enforced, a 1 pip must listen to a 2 pip, who must listen to a 3 pip. But just to add to the chaos there is also consideration on the Three Eyes. If the matter being commanded is related to Teef things, then a 2 pip Chorga cannot call rank on a 1 pip Teef… at least not on that particular topic. Fists can change the topic. The leaders of the Three Eyes are selected from the pool of 3 pips. Each Eye has one Hok, the leader, and two or more Bahs, their seconds. Attaining the rank of a 3 pip means you are someone important, the Gorgun probably knows your name and if you get into trouble outside the camp there is a chance the tribe will rally to support you. All Hoks answer to the Bahgun, or second in command of the Tribe, and literally everyone answers to the Gorgun, the ultimate leader. It is important to note that we do not give a shit about your titles outside of the Tribe. You could be the lord of all the realm or the high mucky muck of the great wallabaloo court. If you haven’t earned rank in the Tribe we don’t “see you”. The Three Eyes of Mog There is much confusion among outsiders (and, to be honest, among the Tribe) about what, or who, Mog is. Some say Mog is an Orc from ancient times. Some say Mog is a creed that dictates the actions of the tribe. Still others say Mog is a balance of deeds, like karma. And then there are drinks named for Mog, just to add to the confusion. The chaos is a feature, not a bug. Whatever it is, the tribal structure is based on it. The three “Eyes” of Mog are broken down into the following:
Outsiders/Relations The most predictable thing about the Tusks is that they’re unpredictable. Just when outsiders are starting to get an idea of how to handle them, things change. At the top of the chaos is the mercurial Gorgun, who is just as likely to invite strangers into the camp to share some Troita tea as he is to command the Chorga to attack! As a guild of Helheim one would think everything is summer roses and bloody hunts, but the reality is, in-character at least, that Helheim tolerates the Black Tusks more than embraces them. The Tusks offer military support (which is mostly effective if the monarch can rile them to fight in the right direction) and keeps the Forest mostly free of other brigands. In exchange the Black Tusks provide a reason to have a Royal Guard by frequently enacting shenanigans in Helheim proper. Totally win-win. Aside from Helheim, the Tusks have no official allies among other groups and factions, however, they are eager to fight and can be (mostly) relied on to show up and hit the correct things. The very next day they might attack the people they were assisting. No one has ever been able to pin down just how many Tusks reside in the forest (though the former Queen of Helheim did attempt a census) which makes attacking them outright a dicey proposition. This is a large contributor to why no one has tried to tame the Tusks. Common Terms
Regular Events While these are some of the events you can expect from the Black Tusks they are not the only events. Check with the sim calendar on the home page of the website for other events. The Meatgrindah: On the Third Thursday of every month we hold a combat event to honour the Iron One. People smash other people and the winner is awarded a title (Dawn Meatgrindah Champion or Dusk Meatgrindah Champion) and 1 silver coin. These take place at 11:30am SLT and 5:30pm SLT. Everyone is welcome to attend. Meatgrindah: the Gathering: When someone becomes a Meatgrindah champion they have a card made of them, like a baseball card. Recently a game has been developed using these cards. Black Tusk Monthly Movie: On the First Saturday of every month we meet in the discord movie channel to watch two 80’s (or earlier) classic films. Much fun and hilarity ensues. Everyone is welcome to attend. Rent-a-Tusk: If you need something done a Tusk will do it for you. For 5c you can hire a Tusk to deliver a message (either a note or with fists), walk your dog, fuck your wife, or weed your garden. Reach out to any Tusk to find out more. The Goblintown Bazaar: Now and then the goblins of the tribe block the road “accidentally” and divert traffic through the camp where people are then assaulted with sales pitch after sales pitch. It’s like a really aggressive IKEA. Everyone is welcome (and encouraged) to attend! Winter Wonderland (annual): Over the Winter Solstice individuals are invited to come to the Black Tusk camp to have their portrait painted while sitting on the Gorgun or the Hok’Jicho’s lap. Strangely, and totally unrelated, there is a rash of burglaries after this event. Everyone is welcome to attend. Annual Bath Day (annual): Around March, when the winter starts to thaw, the Snaga Whip riles the rest of the Snaga into cajoling the smelly Tusks into a bath. There are 5 tubs, one each for the Gorgun, Bahgun, and the three Hoks. These five get to bathe first. The water is not changed out. It is gross. And hilarious. Usually this event is restricted to the tribe. The Meatbeatles It wouldn't be a Mick Dagger's Guide without a shameless plug. Have you heard of Sincadere's singing sensation the Meatbeatles? (Not to be confused with meat beetles, the bugs). To date the Meatbeatles have released 8 albums of parody songs. Each "album" is a box with magical stones, one for each song, that plays the song when activated. The box lid bears some clever cover art. Meatbeatles songs are considered Ear Worms. When you sing or hum a Meatbeatles song feel free to pass along the notecard with the lyrics to people in the vicinity. If they choose to they will also get the song stuck in their head and inflict it on, or er, share it with others in turn. In Conclusion That’s all for this guide, folks. There is much more to the Tusks, but this will get you started. Come learn the rest in character. Venture into the forest at your peril, but do not be afraid to approach the Tusks from an OOC standpoint. We will RP with you and since RP in Origins of Sin is consent based you need only fear us if that’s the RP you seek. We can play your villain, your ally or your stalwart frenemy, so long as you let us know what you need from us.
Oh, and, if you need any other moderately priced services from the ‘Totally’ franchise, don’t hesitate to reach out to me… Mick Dagger… for literally anything you can pay coin for. Which is literally everything. Mick Dagger's Guide to Origins of Sin Aquatic Edition For an overview of Origins of Sin check out Mick Dagger’s Guide to Origins of Sin! See also Mick Dagger's Guide to the Black Tusks! Welcome, Aquatic Sinners, to a moderately priced guide to the world of waterways of Origins of Sin, I’m our host Mick Dagger, your friendly neighbourhood Goblin. You might remember me from such spectacular successes like “Totally Legit Documents”* or “Totally Safe Tours”*. While it should go without saying, this is an OOC (out of character) guide with some IC (in character) flavour, it’s meant to be fun, silly and still informative. Please do not take it as in-character. Of note, whenever possible we've used SL water for our waterways and when that fails we've opted for a scripted 3d water prim that reacts with a free swimming AO found here. We've also added a "Water" menu on our hud teleport. These locations are aquatics friendly! Click the "TP" button on your hud and choose "water". * The ‘Totally’ Franchise offers no guarantees on any of its products or services. The name of a Franchise is no way an indication of quality of products or services. The Realms Rated for Wetness First, it is important to understand our rating scale!
So how do we come to this rating? It’s simple really… we take into account the presence of water, the level of water, deduct for the toxicity of water, add the bribes where applicable, times by capitalism and then solve for x. I’m kidding. The rating is entirely arbitrary and is subject to change without notice. Also, my orc-tourney at law says I have to say that we cannot be held accountable for any injuries that result in following this guide. He also says I have to tell you that if you need a good orc-tourney at law don’t worry, you can still hire him… he’s a big deal. Why not Brokil? The Cabbala Amartia 💦💦💦 : Damp** ** The Cabbala Amartia did not, in any way, bribe or extort a higher rating out of Mick Dagger. The Cabbala is deep underground but that doesn’t mean there are no waterways. Down the center of the main cavern is a canal that runs from the bath house all the way to just in front of the Keep. Under the central platform where some weird crystal thing is housed there is a playful torture scene, you know, in case you want to get your tickle on. The bath house also has some mer-friendly furniture. Between the bath house and the bridge there is a ledge where you can remain in the water but still order something from the Bound Elf… handy, that! Just outside the bath house is a portal that represents about a mile of submerged tunnels that lead to the Nascentia ocean. Not only is this great for a quick escape, it also means you can get to the Cabbala without leaving the water! The Kingdom of Helheim 💦💦💦💦 : Wet When first arriving in Helheim you will find yourself on the docks… back up just a bit and you’ll be in the harbour! Chat with the locals while hanging out on a barrel above, or take a rest on the stones below. The harbour itself connects to the Nascentia Ocean but also has a tunnel portal that leads to the Helheim sewers. Going through the tunnel will drop you in the sewer waterway! Heading north along the sea wall you’ll come to the canal heading east. If you follow this canal and hang a left at the end, you’ll discover a secret cave where pirates often gather! There is another watery entrance to the sewers found here as well. The rest of the city is dotted with various fountains but accessing them means stepping out of the water. On the bright side if you do step out of water for some reason and need to make a quick escape, there are many many points of egress straight into the ocean. Not that you would need to flee Helheim, I’m sure you never cause any trouble. The Jade Lotus Empire 💦💦 : Moist On exiting the portal to the Jade Lotus Empire, you are immediately on a platform surrounded by water. Unfortunately this ring of water is not connected to the nearby creek in a way that makes swimming possible. Once you climb over the tree root blocking your path there is a very shallow (ankle deep, not deep enough to swim) creek that leads under the roots of the huge central tree… there’s a rift under the tree that leads to other realms. Careful! The water drops off the edge of the floating island! If you can fly, or you don’t mind being carried by an Air Kami, you can also visit the Anchor Shrine which is dead ahead from where the water falls off the island. It’s a small pool that overflows and plummets to the ground far below. On one of the islands there is a lava warmed hot spring with plenty of space to chill out (hue hue, get it?) with the land walkers. Lastly, there is a substantial pool under the Jade Palace where the Water Shrine is located! Plenty of water you can swim in but none of it is connected to one another, even by magical means, unless you count being carried out of the water by the Air Kami. Don’t forget you can purchase and Air Kami Express card from me for 5c! The Great Forest 💦💦💦 : Damp Update: After the rebuild concluded the Great Forest was elevated from "Moist" to "Damp". Long after the forest was decimated by red mist and dragon fire, after the druids focused their energy to regrow the forest, the place shows no signs of the rot and destruction it experienced. Now the crater -- former location of the Jade Lotus Empire -- is a thriving lake. Due to SL limitations this lake is part SL water and part prim water (this prim water reacts with a free swim hud you can find here). A swimmable subterranean river mirrors the path of the surface river and joins its surface pal under the Black Tusk camp, then continues on to the Helheim canal. The Swamp 💦💦💦 : Damp Update: The rebuild has concluded so this is an updated entry. If you can stand the smell and avoid the gators there is actually a fair sized swimming area in the swamp. It connects to the ocean via the Helheim canal. The water close to shore is too shallow to swim but the deeper water is in chat range so you can still lure air breathers. Bonus, the swamp is deep enough to hide a reasonable sized dragon! The Nascentia Ocean 💦💦💦💦💦 : Deluge Very wet. It’s a freakin’ ocean. It’s so big, in fact, I’m going to list points of interest with coordinates because otherwise this guide would get intense!
The Hellscape 💦 : Dry Do lava pools count? Just kidding! While there is a river of lava and a couple of pools of lava, there is also a subterranean creek. Not as cool as the lava-falls that flow under a balcony in one of the hidden structures, but it is wet. Not really deep enough to swim in, but you can lay about. One of the secret rooms in the subterranean tunnels also sports shallow water. The Ethereal Realm 💦💦 : Moist More floating islands and in this place even a couple flying whales! But… very little in the way of water. If you can find your way to it, one of the floating islands has a deep enough pond to swim in, complete with koi fish to snack on. Er… swim with. Another of the floating islands has ankle deep water in the form of a fountain. If you’re not able to make it from island to island on your own then good luck visiting these watery havens. In Conclusion That’s all folks. Go forth and drown your land bound peers with the confidence of an orc wooing an elven maiden. Or embark on an adventure with your fellow aquatics that eschews the troubles and politics of the air breathing realm.
Oh, and, if you need any other moderately priced services from the ‘Totally’ franchise, don’t hesitate to reach out to me… Mick Dagger… for literally anything you can pay coin for. Which is literally everything. Mick Dagger's Guide to Origins of SinWelcome, Sinners, to a moderately priced guide to the world of Origins of Sin, I’m our host Mick Dagger, your friendly neighbourhood Goblin. You might remember me from such spectacular successes like “Totally Legit Documents”* or “Totally Safe Tours”*. When first entering the realm of Sincadere you have two options… entering blind by stumbling through a random portal from your own world (so long as it’s not a Sci-Fi or modern realm) or taking the time to read up on the world’s lore to arm yourself for what’s to come. Either option is just as viable and if at first you don’t succeed… well, there are plenty of character slots on the hud. * The ‘Totally’ Franchise offers no guarantees on any of its products or services. The name of a Franchise is no way an indication of quality of products or services. Important Things of NoteThe Quick Start Guide So you’re here, in Sincadere, but… do you REALLY have to read the lore? Not at all! If you would like a quick start to RP simply make your character as you would normally (no children, no sci-fi, no canon characters, making sure your attire fits the aesthetic according to the rules) and then stumble your sexy ass through a portal. These random portals first started appearing about 500ish years ago after a cataclysmic event and while they’ve become less numerous they are still a problem. Now you have a long term goal to try and find a way home… but it may be impossible. Shucks! If you DO wish to read the lore you can find it here. ![]() The Golden Rule Origins of Sin is a consent based sim. That means that people don’t have to agree to your plan of action! If someone is standing around and you haven’t seen them make an RP post, then they have not yet consented to RP and you just ignore that they are there. On the flip side of that though, if they haven’t posted in, they can’t see or hear anything that’s happened. When in doubt about consent, just drop a friendly DM on your scene partner to check in. Some people are here for shenanigans, some want long term serious stories, we accommodate everyone! Extra Characters You have access to 8 character slots on the hud so once you’ve had a look around if you find yourself inspired to try out a new character, no problem! Simply create a new character on the hud and carry on. You can switch between characters with a couple easy clicks. ![]() Deer Skulls When you see one of these lovely deer skulls then you’ve discovered a communal RP space. These communal spaces may be claimed by a player for the duration of their RP. Realistically any of our cities would have hundreds of buildings but due to prim limitations we can only have so many rezzed out. These deer skulls are places that represent those houses we cannot place. Additional Support Every few months we offer seminars on Combat, RP Etiquette and RP mechanics that are a bit beyond the basics (so we call it Advanced RP). You don’t have to wait for one of these seminars though, we have all the information on our website and any of our friendly staff, or helpful mentors, will be happy to answer your questions. Random Portals (That Aren't So Random)In that nebulous place known as Oh-oh-cee (OOC) you will find a wide range of tools to support you… from a listing of the staff and their availability, to information on the realm’s three factions and their guilds. There is a calendar of events, links to various websites (spiders not included) and, of course, the realm portals. The Jade Lotus Empire To your left you will see a green shimmering portal stretched across some weird red archway. Two jade dragons perched on pedestals glare with unblinking eyes to let you know that the Emperor is always watching. Don’t worry, as long as you behave and don’t get caught pick pocketing, I find that the Jade Lotus Empire can be a pleasant place to visit. Very serene… just don’t pick at the flaking paint or you might discover something a little darker underneath. The Empire has a really good PR team so you’ll often hear them referred to as “good” but, my dear readers, I’m here to tell you that this is only half true. Or maybe, like, two thirds true… or eight fourths. I’m no good at math. The Empire is good as long as it suits “the good of the Empire”. Sure they purify the land of magical corruption… and no one really believed the stories that they enslaved the Nekoyami (I married one of those lovely cat people), but if you interfere with their grand plan or even hint at threatening their way of life… you’ll get ‘disappeared’. When you first arrive on the floating isles (you can also reach it from a portal on the edge of the Great Forest) you’re greeted by scaly floating guards who might allow you to keep your weapons but have also taken your scent like an overeager bugbear in heat. Or something. Hasten on, my friends, from here you can head down the market lane or over toward the Oikiya and its famous hot springs… fed by lava and fire spirits deep inside the rock. Don’t worry if you can’t get around from island to island yourself, there are helpful air spirits that will carry you. You can purchase an Air Kami Express card from me for a mere 5 copper! They’ll even drop you off at the Jade Palace, though it isn’t as easy to get into the palace as it is, say, the Void Shrine they keep hidden below all the other islands. The Kingdom of Helheim Next in the line of portals are the two imposing figures of stone knights flanking the portal to Helheim. When you first walk through this portal you’ll find yourself on a sprawling dock, bustling with activity as dock workers haul crates of fish or work on the latest ship being built at the shipyard. The city itself is populated with mostly humans (NPC humans that is) but much of its leadership is non-human… which certainly doesn’t engender any resentment among the ‘native’ population. If you hang around in Helheim long enough you’ll eventually learn that until about 500 years ago Sincadere’s only sentient population was humans and it was their overuse and abuse of magic that caused The Cataclysm. That is, the event that ripped open portals to other realms and made it possible for non-humans to infiltrate the world! This city is situated on three levels with the display of wealth in dwellings increasing the higher you climb. The highest level is where the Helheim castle sits, alongside the Basilica and the Council building. There’s great food served in the restaurant across from the Barracks but it isn’t safe to pickpocket there. It should be noted that while the Basilica is the house of worship for The Four, the human based religion of Sincadere, you can get a much better deal on salvation from the Great Goblin Gasilica, of which I am the head. Right now we’re having a sale, 3 souls saved for the price of four! The Cabbala Amartia If you thought you smelled blood, you are correct. The portal to the Cabbala Amartia (most often just referred to as Cabbala) is as red as blood and flanked by terrifying figures that drip what I assume is actual blood. But as imposing as it is, it is possible to navigate the dark regions of the subterranean world of the Cabbala and survive to share your experience. I highly recommend the 5 copper ‘Totally Safe’ Tour. For all its chaos, the Cabbala is ruled by the iron fist and fluffy butt of the Archon. She’s a wonder to behold and I’ve spent many a night imagin- er… but she’s also bat shit crazy. Don’t stand too close or make any sudden movements. Hold perfectly still, I heard she can only track movement. Or was that Ogres? It doesn’t matter, I’m sure you’ll be fine. When you first travel through the portal (there is another portal in the swamps on the edge of the Great Forest) you’ll find yourself smack between the Fool’s Market and the Bound Elf Tavern. Either will make your purse feel a lot lighter. There’s lots to see, but dominating the end of the huge cavern is the imposing and possibly oppressive presence of the castle… keep… fortress? Look, you can’t miss it, it’s miles tall and built right into the rock face. Next to the Keep-Castle-thing you might spot the mysterious tower of the Cabbala College of Obscure Arts, the longest running witch’s knitting circle this side of the Great Forest. KIDDING, my ire has nothing to do with the fact that the CCOA’s wealthiest sponsor has been trying to kill me for years. Across the canal from the Bound Elf get your freak on and indulge in decadence in the Hound’s Den. I don’t go in there often, in part because I was banished for being too freaky for their tastes, if you can believe that… or maybe because I robbed one too many patrons. If you need a quick escape, as I often do, and can hold your breath for 20 or so minutes, which I cannot do, I heard a rumour there is an entrance to submerged tunnels in the canal that leads out to the Nascentia ocean. The Nascentia Isles and More Do you like pirates? I don’t. They’re not as easy to con as orcs are. That’s why I rarely travel to Nascentia… they have a ‘privateer’ problem. Maybe it has cleared up, who knows… but they also have unicorns, merfolk and elves and all manner of light sparkly things that won’t let me exploit them for profit. On the beach, however, there’s also a fissure that will lead to two adjacent realms. These are not of Sincadere. One is the shattered remains of some peaceful people, perhaps an elven offshoot, none survived whatever transpired. All that remains now is the scattered islands of their Ethereal home. None have yet to unravel the mystery of what happened to the inhabitants of this world. The other adjacent realm is hell. No really… lava, volcanos, an experience worse than a dry sauna with your in-laws. As the terrain is inhospitable to most, few have discovered the labyrinth of tunnels hidden below the surface. As with the Ethereal realm, this place once housed… someone. But all traces of who they might be disappeared when they did, all that remains is their dwellings. In ConclusionWe’re all here to have fun and make profit. Well, I’m here for profit anyway. If you encounter some oh-oh-cee (OOC) ugliness, don’t hesitate to reach out to staff for guidance. Keep the tension and torture in character and have a blast obliterating your enemies or seducing your latest lover.
Oh, and, if you need any other moderately priced services from the ‘Totally’ franchise, don’t hesitate to reach out to me… Mick Dagger… for literally anything you can pay coin for. Which is literally everything. OOC Contributers: Kallen, Nimue, Hawkstone, Vashet, Terra, Ikuto, Atlas, Gobbie, and Lossehellin Many have heard the name Mick Dagger. It is the GGN's mournful duty to report that this famous Goblin... the Grand Reclusiarch of the Great Goblin Gasilica ®, the CEO of Goblin Allied Sanitation Service (or G.A.S.S.) ®, the Administrivus of TotallyLegit Documents ®, the Executive Director of TotallySafe Tours ®, the Goblin Gorgun of Rent-a-Tusk ® and the Lead Lip-Syncer of the MeatBeatles ®, has died. This evening Mick Dagger along with his Sugar Mama and Wife, Yisu Dagger, died by suicide off the Nekoyami Island. Reports confirm the remains of a goblin, a nekoyami and a horse were found in the wreckage far below the JLE. Reports also confirm that the Dagger family will be filing a lawsuit against the Jade Lotus Empire for negligence on the part of the Air Kami who are suppose to catch wayward travelers. GGN believes that Big Deal Brokil will be the litigator in the case. He is survived by his siblings, Quirk Dagger who earned her name due to a series of peculiarities. One is a seemingly pathological addiction to crime that compelled her into hijinks and the other was a complete rejection of the more standard tusk dress to instead steal and wear the fanciest puffiest dresses she could find. And Slapstick Dagger, who tries to make a living as a jester using bad jokes and tricks. A waiver is always required for his shows as a way to not give back refunds due to the occasional guest going backstage and disappearing. The funeral arrangements are being made and will be announced soon. An admission of 5c is expected for all attendees but a 1c discount is provided for anyone willing to say nice things about the deceased during the ceremony. All gift receipts should be made out to Rick Dagger. ((If you wish to read the RP, you can do so on Origins discord.)) ((Anyone may play one of the goblins listed below if they wish, any goblin marked with an asterixis is already spoken for. Simply message lossehellin on discord or SL to call dibs on your goblin name.)) Other notable Daggers:
Acoustic Dagger, odd fascination with singing in the caves. Addick Dagger, really gets hung up on substances. Airsick Dagger, Bat-rider who thinks he's a dragonrider Attick Dagger, likes living in high places. Angelick Dagger, he's got a little devil in him. Antic Dagger, the prankster Bailiwick Dagger, everyone thinks his mom is actually a basilisk *Benedick Dagger, is a cleric of the Grinning One. Called Cumber for short. Bigwick Dagger, coming in with that big gob energy Brick Dagger, the window washer. Boomstick Dagger, fisherman. Bootlick Dagger, the best 'yes goblin' you'll ever meet. Chick Dagger, the chicken tender. As in handler... not food! Chopstick Dagger, from overseas, uses chopsticks for everything. Clerick Dagger, is also a cleric. Click Dagger, meat beetle and Ogre trainer. Cowlick Dagger, the barber. Crick Dagger, the masseur. Derrick Dagger, he's adopted (he's not even green) *Dick Dagger, he's such a prick. Dipstick Dagger, Engineer and Mechanic Dominick Dagger, he works with leather. Dynamic Dagger, Can ONLY yell or whisper. Fanatick Dagger, really focuses on things. Fantastik Dagger, super clean. Feministic Dagger, really likes the ladies. Fishstick Dagger, D'Orc manufacturer. Flick and Lick Dagger, the porn twins. Frick Dagger, they never swear. Fossick Dagger, the treasure hunter. Generick Dagger, he's kinda boring. Gimmick Dagger, such a showman. Hick Dagger, he ain't from around here. Holistic Dagger, the alchemist. Homesick Dagger, traveling salesman who never makes it home for Winter Veil Hydrophobic Dagger, Can swim very well, just really hates water. Ick Dagger, everyone hates him. He's gross. Works with Sick Dagger. Joystick Dagger, carries a stick called Joy, spreading happiness one smack at a time Kick Dagger, the blind monk to always stubs his toe. Killick Dagger, the Sailor. *Knick Dagger, seller of oddities. Not to be confused with Nick Dagger. Limerick Dagger, there once was a goblin named Limerick, he was really bad at poetry. Lockpick Dagger, works in law enforcement. Logick Dagger, silver tongued, can talk his way out of anything. Lopstick Dagger, was born with a lopsided face. Lovesick Dagger, the bard. Lunatick Dagger, astrologist. Lyrick Dagger, the songwriter. Majestic Dagger, the wealthiest Dagger. Majick Dagger, the illusionist. Mathmatick Dagger, an accountant. Manick Dagger, such a bummer. Maverick Dagger, always playing cards, nicknamed Burt. Medick Dagger, is a healer. Mythik Dagger, he's a legend! Necrotick Dagger, braaaaaaains! Nephric Dagger, loves steak and kidney pie. Nick Dagger, the swordsmith. Nonstick Dagger, slickest cook you'll ever find. Nudnick Dagger, the most boring and most annoying Dagger. Optimistic Dagger, the most agreeable greenskin you will ever meet. Panick Dagger, super excitable. Parasitick Dagger, a total freeloader. Pick Dagger, he's the guitarist. Pinprick Dagger, the Tailor Politick Dagger, used cart salesman. Prick Dagger, he's just a dick. Prolific Dagger, lots of kids. Quick Dagger, the mail delivery technician. Realistic Dagger, OBSESSED with making sure everyone is "living in the moment". *Rick Dagger, he's the drummer. *Schtick Dagger, he's always got something going on. Shashlik Dagger, is a chef who shish kebabs. *Shawshank Dagger, former prison guard. Sick Dagger, tends the cook pot at the Black Tusk camp. *Slapstick Dagger, "bewear the Stick of Slapping held byThe Great Slapstick Dagger. Giggle and pay well or else yer rump shall swell!" Slick Dagger, total greaser. Or lady's man. Or both. Statick Dagger, he's the same guy he's always been. Stick Dagger, an Ogre Handler. Also professional jouster. *Thicc Dagger, she's got it going on. Tick Dagger, suuuuper nervous demolitionist. Used to have a brother named Tock. *Trick dagger, is a magician Uptick Dagger, obsessed with the latest trends. Vick Dagger, always has wonderful minty breath. Warwick Dagger, he's a wizard. Wick Dagger, the candlemaker. As reported by GGN Goblin Gossip Network. The Multifarious Monthly Review makes no claims that the Goblin GOSSIP Network is a reliable news source. Articles are posted with minor edits for spelling and grammar but not reviewed for content. The Multifarious Monthly Review does not accept any financial burden that results in the GGN's reporting practices. It is with a heavy heart that we announce the passing of Snetcharella, one of the line of Snetch-Goblins known for their journalistic integrity and dedication to the truth. Taking her place is Snetchatron, who will be reporting on the recent Bards vs Bands event where once again Goblins displayed that we know wot's wot when it comes to the fine arts. . . . Snetcharella looked behind her for the fourth time since arriving for the interview. She wasn't nervous about being in the Cabbala particularly but the LAST interview she'd tried to do she'd been basically shanked by an overzealous fan of the Meatbeatles. She would not let her guard down again.
"Thank you for meeting with me, Mz Locks, I'm excited to report on your resounding defeat at the Bards vs Bands event against Sincadere's beloved 'boy band' the Meatbeatles. I assure you that this interview will be entirely unbiased, the Goblin Gossip Network is all about hard hitting journalism." She paused, adjusting her hair and confirming with a glance that her assistant was paying attention before turning back to Ashley and starting the interview. "So... which is your favourite Meatbeatles song?" Clears her throat has she spots the two goblins approaching up to her while she was having an ale in the bound elf. Looking up reminiscent to the stage there was a certain high that's hard to obtain off of it. Looking down to snetcharella she was a great actor and was totally just going to along with it. The bard looking has if she if trying to fight a back a tear but one drops down into her ale. "Well...." she sucked in a deep breathe tuning over to look at her "It wasn't until the next night after that I find myself laying in my bed late at night, trying to sleep. Tossing and turning without a true moments rest when I finally slip into a dream it becomes a nightmare. Has the near naked Mick dagger appears screaming COME ON SNAGA LETS GO GAGA! Then I wake up! In a cold sweat thinking I'm safe and back to reality, until I look over to the window. Spotting a bird with the head of Mick Dagger tapping its beak against the glass repeating in a mocking manner "No Refunds, No Refunds," Then it hits me! Another tragedy of the night neither of us thought to charge the audience a cover charge! We both could of cleaned up nicely even at one copper a head. Snetcharella was pulled in by Ashley's gripping tale and then tsk-tsk'd at the news that neither had thought to charge a cover. "That is tragic, indeed... speaking of nightmares... how are you faring after having your ass handed to you by four goblins?" This was the hard hitting journalism the readers of the GGN really wanted. At least that's what Snetcharella's assistant thought, and recorded for posterity. "Pay attention," Snetcharella hissed at her assistant before turning back to Ashley. "Is it true that you pursued Mick Dagger?" she let that hang in the air a moment, hopefully leading Ashley to think of the day she tracked Mick down for his Bounty, before she added quickly, "and now you'll be bearing his love child?" Paused has she listened to the first set of questions. She stifled a giggle after the second round of questions happened. Clearing her throat and regaining her composure, starting from the top. " Well, the thing about goblins while one is easy to punt. When you walk into a cage full of them they are ferocious little fucks. While your trying to kick one, the other trying to punch you in the cunt." The bard chuckled not too phased by it. "What was really disorienting about the experience, they continued to sing in perfect sync. Even when Mick had his teeth in my neck. Getting my ass kicked isn't new though, its a hazard of being a bard. That's also why I hired the horde, which they failed to protect me. They still managed to clean the tusks out of their without issue." Twisting her lips and drinking down the rest of her ale. "Yes." The bard just let that hang in the air. It may not of been true but it was sure going to be entertaining. "It all started the night after the competition. Seeing the heart of a true performer, mixed with the guile of skilled grifter. I knew I just had to have him. I left my apartment in helheim and snuck through the night to the tusks camp. It was rather easy sneaking past the guards. I threw some chickens infront of them and let their natural desires do the rest. Then afterwards I crept through the grotto and to where Mick slept. It was such a cute endearing sight he had big bag of coins. That Mick put a dress on it and called it Yisu has he slept. At the bottom of the bag there was a peculiar hole labeled -deposits-. It took a slightly disturbing turn. But such a welcomed development for my goal. I casted a charm on him, which is easier on the sleeping. Has I saw the green bean gain a slightly rigged stiffness. I pilfered the bag of coin and laid next to him. It wasn't long till his urges and desires for Yisu led him...to well you know. The disappointing thing I didn't feel a thing. After he finished ... within seconds. I left the camps, I imagine it'll be just under few months. I bring Micassley Dagger into the world to perform and steal. We'll make all the gold in the land. I will also constantly taunt yisu I conceived Micks child before her." The bard tone grew more serious and leaning forward. "It's also with this announcement, an exclusive update. I hear by challenge the Kabuki Cat Troop to perform against me. This time the battle will be done in the form of a short play." Snetcharella stared on, once backhanding her assistant in the thigh to make sure she got every gorey detail. "Mickastly Dagger? solid name," she murmured more to herself. Honestly, she was stumped. How did one take this a notch higher? Had Ashley outdone her in the drama department? No doubt Snetcharella could FEEL her assistant plotting to take over the journalist spot... just one more fuck up and the role was h- "Hsst," Snetcharella's hiss got the assistant's attention once more. As the goblin reporter turned back to Ashley, she casually adjusted her hair like she wasn't freaking out on the inside. Then Ashley dropped the bomb about the Kabuki Cat Troupe and Snetcharella choked on her own tongue. She turned purple in the face, whether from lack of air or from outright indignation, either way it wasn't looking good for the goblin. The bard watched with a sick grin on her face. Her stories and the breaking news must being too much for the goblin reporter. Has she watched them turning purple in the face. The bard casually grabbed her flintlock from underneath her cape. Aiming it towards Snatcharella's head and pulling the trigger. Blowing off the top off of her head off before she could kill herself. Turning to look over to the goblin assistant. "Looks like you got your promotion! Such a wonderful break and now go finish publishing the article. Tell Mick I also am expecting him to pay me for our child." The bard using her cape to wipe the goblin blood and brains off her face. As reported by GGN Goblin Gossip Network. The Multifarious Monthly Review makes no claims that the Goblin GOSSIP Network is a reliable news source. Articles are posted with minor edits for spelling and grammar but not reviewed for content. The Multifarious Monthly Review does not accept any financial burden that results in the GGN's reporting practices. This one has it all folks. Another assault on one of our reporters... a fetching assistant quitting mid-interview... oh and the King of Helheim has trouble with his, uh... stuff. Read on! In order to ensure journalistic integrity, we immortalized the exchange in the form of descriptive writing, beautifully captured by the assistant! . . . Snetcharella adjusted her hair, piled high on her head like a beehive. It emphasized her short stature and long arms... made her more beautiful, if that was possible. Her dedicated assistant watched on with... dedication... as he took down the details of the upcoming interview. And why wouldn't he be awed by her pre- Snetcharella caught the handsome assistant's gaze and drew him back to the moment. Mog she was glorious. "So, Yisu of the Nekoyums, I'm glad to see you were brave enough to meet with us knowing what we know of your former Empress... Tsuiteru, the GOBLIN SLAYER," the reporter, arguably GGN's finest yet, said to the diminutive feline. "But we're not here to talk about murder... we're here to hear more about the Kabuki-Cats and their success as a multi-national spy unit. Tell me... what have you dug up on the king of Helheim?" Yisu was already happily working on her next set of posters to be oh so helpfully delivered around Helheim. Who knew the threat of war could be so prosperous for her advertising business. She'd wave a little paw at the goblins, splattering paint around. "The Great Grandmother with the Luckiest Belly. If she killed a goblin, its cause they rubbed counter-clockwise. ALWAYS. Rub clock-wise. Counter for bad-luck!" She tsked and booped the nearest goblin on the nose with a brush. Her ears perked. Spy Unit? Coins danced in her eyes for a few moments. "Oh! You haven't heard?! I guess that the King and Queen have to choose a new heir to the throne because the Princess is infertile. Can't have an heir that can't continue the family line, ya know? I heard its cause they live to close to that noisy machine. Maybe its messed up the King's..." She'd glance meaningfully down at the male goblin's crotch. "..."little swimmers" all mutated. Thats why their kids are so messed up?" Snetcharella leaned over the notes on her lap and answered in a stage whisper, "really? Isn't his virility like... his thing??" She sat back and shook her head, "no.. no... I'm here to talk about the Kabuki-Cats, not the king's technologically de-hanced fertility. What's it like? Stealing state secrets and selling them to the highest bidder? Do you sleep well at night knowing that you will always be alone because the... mission... always... comes... first?" Yisu shrugged her shoulder. "I don't know the fancy science of it. But what heir to a throne choose not to have more heirs? Don't make sense! Should rename the whole place to Conspiracy City." The cat laughed then frowned. "Steal? Are you kidding?! People tell us everything we need to know to make our plays. They PAY us to take their secrets and glorify them through the magic of theater.." She waved both paws in the air, though the next question made her gasp. "Alone? Oh no no no. I am a happily married Nekoyami now. Mick composed four ballads for me...and PAID...to have someone sing them to me." She lowered her voice a little more. "...we're like..Sincadere's Power Couple." Snetcharella, a beautiful goblin who was never at a loss for words... was at a loss for words. Eventually she managed to repeat some of the words from the kitten. "Sincadere's Power Couple? Is Mister Dagger aware of this, uh... development? We're interviewing him next about the debut album of the Meatbeatles... we WILL ask him about this." Clearly unimpressed with where this interview was going, Snetcharella tried once more to bring it back to task. "And what have you learned about the Jade Flower's nefarious plot to enslave all of Helheim while blaming it on the Cabbala? Hm? Do you plan to warn your 'husband'," Snetcharella used fingers to put literal quotes around the word husband, "who also happens to be a citizen of Helheim? or will you let him be oppressed along with the rest of the population?" Yisu looked as happy as could be. "Would he write that many ballads if he didn't know? Though.. I should go see him.." Her mismatched eyes squinted at Snetcharella, and she hopped up from her seat to compare heights. Hmm. They were similar height. Similar builds. Ideas started to bubble in that fuzzy little head. "I love the Meatbeatles!" She danced in place, totally fan-girling. "Enslave Helheim? Why would we wanna do that?! No sushi. No pinwheels. No Cat Island. No theater. Sure, its nice to visit, especially the docks for the fish. But enslave? Helheim does slavery, not the Empire." She leaned a little closer to Snetcharella. "...have you been standing too close to their machine god? Sounds like you got a case of the 'delusions'." She'd stare even harder. "You know, the last time a pretty goblin talked to my Mick, he went and cheated on me." The cat turned around to grab a tray from her stand, spinning around to whap the goblin on the head. Then she'd catch the male goblin's gaze, pointing a paw to herself. "Look at me. I'm Snetcheralla now." (The next words of the GGN article are smudged and illegible but continue on down the page) 'Snetcharella' stood over the downed feline, looking as fierce as ever with her beehive hair maybe a little crooked on her head. Thankfully her feline ears held it in place. "Yes, Snetcharella," the handsome assistant said, the tremor in his voice definitely not fear. "Shall we go to our next interview then?" . . . 'Snetcharella' checked her outfit a few more times before striding into the camp to meet with Mick, though she'd give a low hiss of a whisper to her assistant. "You just keep taking notes and after the interview, we'll get your friend ...and I'll give you both a rare Nekoyami doll for the trouble. Just can't have some goblin hussy talkin' to my Mick."
She'd then resume her performance and approach the WONDERFUL and GLORIOUS, the ONE and ONLY --- Mick Dagger. "Mick Dagger and the Meatbeatles... or is it just.. the Meatbeatles? Your rise to musical fame has been the buzz of the GGN. Tell us, who does your promotions?" Mick Dagger wasn't sure why he'd agreed to do an interview... probably only because it would promote the band which meant he could fulfill the king's command and thus earn back the #1 Aigie and Vaeros Meatgrindah card that the king was literally holding ransom. That fucker. He was pretty preoccupied by the looming threat of death from Vaeros which is why he likely missed the fact that 'Snetcharella' had fur and feline ears. "The Meatbeatles, yeah, we voted on the name.. that's pretty neat, have you ever voted? it's not a thing we do in the Tusk Camp normally, but... I've been thinking a lot about things like voting and," he glanced around before leaning in and whisper, "unions." As for promotions, "well, I was going to get my wife Yisu to do promotions because she runs the Kabuki-Cats and they advertise for a fee.... but she left me," he looked aside into the middle distance for a dramatic pause. 'Snetcheralla' swallowed hard. She was a true performer. She would NOT break character. The goblin that was totally not a Nekoyami in disguise leaned a little closer. "Voting? How... progressive of the Gorgun to allow such a thing. Or...are you unionizing right under his nose..." She'd poke his nose to emphasize her point. "Tell the truth, Mick. The Meatbeatles are just a front for your unionization of the goblins!" She trailed off, gasping. Mick thought she had left him for good?! The 'goblin' threw herself at Mick, throwing off her beehive wig. "Mick! Mick! Yes, I will promote for you! I just...had to know..you cared...! Lets get back in business together!" And like that -- The glorious Mick and Yisu Soap Opera....continued. So much for hard hitting journalism. Mick shrieked when 'Snetcharella' threw off her wig and launched herself at him. IT WAS AN ATTACK! From... someone who sounded just like Yisu. Whatever happened next is a mystery because, dear reader, this assistant QUITS! |
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