Un'yon: Fur and Bamboo ((A Spartacus: Blood and Sand Parody)) Intro The curtain was down, as the time for the play came and went. Suddenly, tiny punches ballooned out from behind the curtain in random spots. Finally finding the split in the middle, Yisu popped out onto the front of the stage. She took a moment to put her hair back into place before giving a low waist bow to the audience. “Tonight’s play is called Un’yon: Fur and Bamboo. An exciting tale of oppression… revolution, and the rise of a Fortune! Un’yon (pronounced union) is my honored Ancestor, and this play means a super lot to me! As much as Mick!” Yisu blushed, gave another bow, and ran to the side corner of the stage, the Narrator’s podium. She cleared her throat and in a loud clear voice, intoned, “We start hundreds and hundreds of years prior, behind the Mist Wall, where time flowed slower for the budding Jade Lotus Empire. The Imp’ress was wise, and she guided her followers to be fruitful, and focused on balance and the ways of the realm. They treated the nekoyami well. But one day….the evil, mean Ash’Lee, of the Underground Kingdoms, wormed their way into the Imp’ress’ kindness. Dark days for the Nekoyami came…” Act 1 Post 1: The curtain lifted to reveal a cutout of the original Jade Palace and three shops; a kimono shop, a noodle shop, and a sushi shop. One nekoyami stood at each of the shops, while another stood in front of the palace on high stilted geta, a bit wobbly, but looking fabulous in an all-white kimono, and a headdress that was twice the size of her tiny cat head, clearly the Imp’ress. One other nekoyami, dressed in a crimson red and black kimono stood opposite of the Imp’ress. This evil-looking cat walked into the ‘village’ and passed each of the nekoyami by the stalls. From above, a nekoyami in the rafters shone a hooded lantern down on the villainous nekoyami, Ash’Lee, as she spoke in an overexaggerated manner, “Greetings business people! I am Ash’Lee of the Underground Kingdoms on the border of the Empire! I have come to beseech business reform, so we may prosper! I go to the Imp’ress, so that she may hear my wisdom, and totally not an evil plan!” The other nekoyami: Young Woman Noodle, Young Man Sushi, and Middle Aged Woman Kimono all nodded in agreement, as Ash’Lee walked toward the Imp’ress. The spotlight nekoyami shifted to a new nekoyami peeking out from behind the sushi stall. Un’yon, of the sushi shop, looked upon the newcomer with wide-eyed curiosity. He had never seen someone from outside the village before, and like most of his species, he was a curious cat. He moved between the noodle stall and the sushi stall, and met his wife, who was holding a kitten. Un’yon said loudly, “Wife! Though you work at the noodle stand, and I at the sushi stand, our love transcends business! So does our kitten, who will pass on my bloodline to Yisu, a great descendant that will be in love with Mick, and will make a lot of money in the name of all nekoyami!” Not one of Yisu’s greatest moments as a playwright… or was it? Post 2: Once again, the spotlight nekoyami was on point in this play, and the light shone down upon the newcomer dressed in red and black. Ash’Lee finished her journey to the foot of the cutout mountain and Jade Palace. She stood looking up at the magnificent and glorious Imp’ress. “I am a wise traveler that speaks wisdom about business! The nekoyami are plentiful, and efficient workers! In order for our empire to prosper, we must tell business owners to use at least twelve nekoyami to work in each shop. Nekoyami cannot mingle between shops, or they will become distracted! Distracted Nekoyami will hurt themselves! And... They must work tirelessly night and day, or they will become sad! This will make our eco… nomy…” the Ash’Lee actor seemed to strain to say the word, “... strong. Our business will boom and expand our borders into the wilds!” The Imp’ress cat nodded solemnly… and then stuck her tongue out toward her cheek in concentration as she tried to maneuver a 180 to turn her back to pretend to leave, and not notice stuff. She wobbled, had a critical moment of almost falling, but finally recovered and turned around, pride shining from her face. Once the Imp’ress cat had turned, Ash’Lee laughed maniacally, unnoticed. Two Imperial Guard nekoyami, dressed in mock samurai armor were pulling Un’yon and his wife apart from one another. The two lovers desperately held each other’s paws before they were tragically ripped away. Un’yon was put in a group of four cats, and all four nekoyami were shoved into the stall to work the crowded sushi stand in a sushi sweatshop. The four of them all positioned themselves like they were in a can of sardines. The crack of a whip could be heard from behind the stage for special effect. The same happened to his wife and the noodle stand’s nekoyami. Finally, the same was repeated with the kimono stand. One of the guards suddenly spoke to the business owners, “By Imperial law, a great idea by Ash’Lee will be done! Such is the will of the Imp’ress! We must put all the nekoyami to work! Twelve nekoyami in each stall. More is coming!” Young Man Sushi looked to the other owners with concern painted on the actor’s face, but eventually, all three shrugged. A lone loud clapping from the audience could be heard. Young Man Sushi was giving such a beautiful performance, it made Old Man Sushi shed a single tear. He stood up, and gave a standing ovation for the nekoyami actor. The curtain came to a close, in preparation for the second act. Act 2 Narrator Post: The spotlight swung to Yisu, and she cleared her throat, looking longingly out toward the crowd, hoping Mick would miraculously show… to support her… to show his love in return. Eventually, she shook herself out of it and started reciting her second act introduction lines, “This went on for many years. The nekoyami were treated little better than slaves. The Imp’ress was kept in the dark, but the Empire prospered….We come to a time where the tension and weight of meanness went even beyond nekoyami tolerance…” Post 1: The curtain rose again revealing the three stalls that now took up most of the stage. There were twelve nekoyami in each stall, nekoyami that were dressed in rags and rubbed in dirt, downtrodden looks upon their faces. Un’yon, and his wife were in their stalls when Ash’Lee entered from the side with the two guards. She swaggered up to the noodle stall and started to push over Un’yon’s wife with her foot. Un’yon’s wife fell over in an over-dramatic style, yelling out, “I am worked to the bone! My little paws are worked to the point of my claws being little nubs! I can not go on… Ash’Lee is evil and abuses me, I am not long for this world.” The wife, who was a bad actress, and why her character wasn’t given a name, fell to the ground in an obviously fake death scene. Ash’Lee spoke with evil glee, “HA HA! My plan is working just as expected. We can use these animals as slave labor. HA HA HA!” Ash’Lee laughed like a madwoman, walking off with guards in tow. Un’yon had been restrained while seeing the whole thing. When the villain walked off he rushed to his wife, holding her as she went limp in his arms. Un’yon stood up as the other nekoyami took the wife away. “That was her last of nine lives, she is… gone. I will send my kitten away… and we will revolt!” The other nekoyami gathered around the Un’yon, “Until we get better safety regulations, and work conditions, we will serve uncooked noodles, and cooked fish in raw sushi! We will mend the kimonos with loose thread, and help the weavers weave not so well!” By now, Un’yon stood upon a large soap box, the other nekoyami nodding and murmuring agreement. “This has gone on too far! Follow me, my brothers and sisters! We will be slaves no more!” The rest of the nekoyami cheered as the spotlight nekoyami closed the hood, fading the scene. The actor nekoyami scrambled to get into the next position. Post 2: As the cats at the stalls settled into their new positions, the spotlight shone off to the side, where Ash’Lee and her two guards were talking… or rather Ash’Lee was ranting at them. “It has been twelve years of bad sushi! Who is this Un’Yon?! And why is there cooked fish in my sushi?! Why do my kimonos fall apart when I walk? Why are my noodles uncooked?!?! These nekoyami are incompetent and lazy! We will have to make an example of them. Come!” Ash’Lee, the evil cave-dwelling slumlord of the nekoyami led the guards to whip the nekoyami into shape. Young Man Sushi cat stood over a large group of slave nekoyami, Un’yon in the center sitting defiantly in a sit-down strike against the businesses and the laws. Young Man Sushi spoke, “You must work and do as the gov’rn’ment says or you won’t reincarnate when you die! It is a matter of national security! All the nekoyami will turn into scary blue oni, if they don’t work!” He cut off short as Ash’Lee approached and bowed, stepping off to the side. Un’yon stared defiantly at the evil Imperial Advisor as she spoke. “If Un’yon does not step forward by the end of sundown, in one hour, all nekoyami will be thrown into the Mist Wall, never to work again!” The spotlight lantern shut off, and the curtain came down. Just as it was almost closed, the spotlight came crashing down to the stage below. Several nekoyami yowled and jumped away. Thankfully, Yisu could still claim, no nekoyami were hurt in the production of this play. Act 3 Narrator Post: Welp… the spotlight lantern, nor the nekoyami that was holding it, were coming back. He was sooo getting fired after the play. Yisu cleared her throat, smoothing the annoyed look on her face, replacing it with a bright smile before starting her intro into the third and final act. She had hoped that they would get through at least one play without some kind of accident. She cleared her throat a second time and went into her oration, “And thus the stage was set for the final showdown, dusk came and went, the time was at hand. Nighttime was when cave dwellers were strongest, and this was no different for Ash’Lee. The evil Imperial Advisor approaches, to make good on her dark promise. She approaches with evil intent in her eyes, but Un’yon and his resistance fighters are there to defy her! Stay tuned for the play’s exciting conclusion!” Yisu sighed, and then turned to the curtain, waiting awkwardly for it to lift, and for Act 3 to start. Post 1: The dastardly evil Ash’Lee, Imperial Advisor that spoke honey to the Imp’ress, and reason to business owners across the Empire, came walking onto the stage with the bearing of great importance. She was accompanied by her usual two guards and she pointed to the slaves, who were gathered in a group, “It is sundown! Give us Un’yon, they are to be arrested for treason! Such is the will of the Imp’ress!” The slave nekoyami yelled back rebelliously, shaking their fists. Two slave cats jumped into the air, rigged by rope on the rickety rails of the stage, they struck kung-fu poses. The guards did the same, though one’s rigging caused them to spin endlessly in a flying kick pose. After several moments of chaotic swinging, the slaves all laid down, the guards given mercy by those pulling the rigging ropes, were let down as well. The guards rushed to stand menacingly over the slave nekoyami. The evil leader spoke, “HA HA HA! As always, I, Ash’Lee the Great, won! I always win! YAY ME!” Ash’Lee started dancing with glee in the middle of the stage. “Now…who is Un’yon?! Will the real Un’yon, please stand up… please stand up? Tell me, or all of you will be thrown into the Mist Wall!” Several moments of tense anticipation passed, Un’yon looked like he was going to stand up, to save his people, when a nekoyami stood up near the edge. “I am Un’yon!” The actual Un’yon blinked away tears of freedom and pride. Another nekoyami slave stood up, “I am Un’yon too!” More and more of them stood up saying “I am Un’yon!” Even the ones that were defeated in the fight popped up to say they were Un’yon, caught up in the excitement of it, before they were told to lay back down by their fellow actors. The real Un’yon finally stood up and walked forward, “I am Un’yon, and we WILL have more safe and proper work conditions!” The slave nekoyami cheered! Post 2: (FINAL POST) Ash’Lee and their guard moved to take all the nekoyami into custody, rushing forward. A loud gong clashed in the background, stopping all nekoyami on stage in their tracks. Another loud ring from the gong echoed through the air, and then a final third clash, announcing to all… the Imp’ress finally arrived. This is where a spotlight hooded lantern would have come in handy for dramatic effect. The Imp’ress cat, once again, stuck her tongue out of the side of her mouth as she focused on not falling as she turned back around. This took several long moments of shuffle, shift, shuffle, shift. When she was finally turned, a bit of sweat matted her fur from the effort. Breathless, she spoke,”I am…” She paused holding up one finger to take a few more moments to catch her breath, “I am Tsuiteru! Imp’ress to the Jade Lotus Empire and beloved of all Nekoyami! In my great magical wisdom and good luck belly… I have determined that these new business laws are nothing more than an evil plan for cave dwellers to try to take over my Empire! It is a good thing I have the loyal nekoyami to stand true and strong for me. Ash’Lee, of the vile cave dwelling people of my Empire. You are hereby dishonored! Your cows, your caves, and your family are all dishonored.” Ash’Lee yelled out in terror as she appeared to start to melt, “Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo, my plans almost worked, if it weren’t for you nekoyami and your little Un’yon too!” Ash’Lee the Vile crumpled within her red and black robes and appeared to be nothing more than a pile of clothes. The guards, who were kneeling beside Ash’Lee, looked to one another, and started to kick at the clothes to show their loyalty to the Empire. The Imp’ress had a look of satisfaction on her face, and then pointed to Un’yon! “YOU!” She boomed, pointing to Un’yon. Un’yon stood from his kneeling and bowing position. “Your actions have proven honorable. From this day forth, no other nekoyami may have five letters in their name, to honor your actions. From this day forward, nekoyami will be unyon-ized, with better safety regulations, and proper work conditions! To seal the deal, and make sure it all happens, I declare Un’yon, Fortune of Nekoyami, Kabuki Theatre, Safety Regulations, and Proper Work Conditions! All worship and venerate the new Fortune!” All the nekoyami cheered, Un’yon was lifted from the stage, by rigging, to ascend into the heavens. All was right in the realm, and the Empire prospered. THE END An origin story for Winter Feast. (Spoof based off ultimate holiday movie… Die Hard) Written by Yasu and Old Man Sushi Act 1 Yasu walks up to the stage nervously, this being the first time she was narrating a Kabuki play, and directing it. Stupid Yisu… she was off gallivanting with that hoodlum, Mick again. Last she heard, he was in prison! A convict at that. Her sister had such poor taste. It was disappointing… Yasu shook her head, focusing on the task at hand, shuffling her notes and script. Old Man Sushi had ANOTHER rewrite… five minutes before the play. AND he changed the whole premise! She grumbled and mumbled as she heard the other cats prepare the first scene. A hooded spotlight lantern, held by a cat delicately balancing itself on the stage rigging, shone a light on her. Clearing her throat, she spoke, “Twas the night before Winter Feast, when all through the realm, not a creature was stirring, not even a nekoyami.” Yasu stopped and stared at her page. This isn’t what was agreed upon. Besides! It was plagiarism. She was sure she had seen something like this before… She cleared her throat, and decided to do some impromptu, “The stage is set, and the feast is ready. Kabuki-Cat Theater would like to present our Holiday Special, ‘Feast Hard’. The curtains were drawn open, revealing a collection of nekoyami feasting around a table. There were three nekoyami suspiciously dressed in the fashions of JLE, HH, and Cabbala. The table itself had a bountiful display of sushi across it, with a modest sign going across the entirety of the front of the table with a “Crouching Sushi, The Best Sushi in ALL of Sincadere” plastered on it. The actors were actually eating the sushi, not realizing the curtain had opened. Yasu pinched her brow off-stage and shook her head. They weren’t supposed to -eat- the food. The hooded lantern shone on a lone nekoyami dressed elaborately compared to the rest. She had fae wings strapped to her back, and she would hunch her shoulders rapidly to flap them. She spoke, “I am Vesperan, Fae of Winter Feast. I am both the Spirit of Giving… and if you piss me off, the Spirit of Taking. But in order to not offend the great Kami of Winter Feast, we shall name the Spirit of Giving as Mc’Claneu-san, and the Spirit of Taking as Hanso-san. Please don’t take offense, oh great spirit of Winter Feast. We nekoyami love our presents!” She bowed deeply in reverence before continuing on. “I am on my way to an O’fice party feast with the first people… the pur… pu… The Purinas.” Yasu facepalmed herself off to the side as the fae cat couldn’t remember the word Puritans… even worse, all the nekoyami around the table were nodding in encouragement. Mc’Claneu-san made her way over to the table to feast with the others. The spotlight focused on Yasu again, the cats on stage feasting on sushi… not acting… actually feasting. She sighed before resuming from her script. She had been making vast edits to the rewrite during the first scene. “All was well at the O’fice Party feast, and much merriment was to be had.” Yasu paused mumbling as she struck out a line on the page, and furiously scribbled for a moment, “But HARK! What do we see? Four big bad gaijin (foreigner) gods and the Spirit of Taking, Hanso-san! They all have katanas and they mean business!” Four Nekoyami came storming through the crowd, making a belligerent ruckus as they made their way to the stage. At their head, a fifth nekoyami, just as elaborately dressed as Mc’Claneu-san, but with bat wings on their back. He too hunched his shoulders rapidly to flap his wings. Hanso-san spoke once all five were on stage. “We have come to TAKE your feast,” he emphasised the word ‘take’. “It is a mighty and bountiful feast, but we are mean and I TAKE things.” He emphasized again. All five nekoyami stopped short… The only thing left on the table was a legion of scraps… with the occasional uneaten piece scattered. “We… ummm… have come to take your… ummm feast!” Yasu just sighed from her narrator’s podium. The five gods went to the table and pretended to pull all the feast into sacks, pulling the meager scraps into the bags they carried. Mc’Claneu-san, ninja rolled off her bench and went “NINJA!”, throwing down a smoke bomb that sent ALL nekoyami on stage coughing. When the smoke cleared, there was no Spirit of Giving! She had vanished like she was part of the night herself. The four ancient gods of Sincadere and Hanso-san searched for her, the amazement only partially an act, cause some even looked off-stage for her, and she was nowhere to be seen. Those that would notice, would see she was silently giggling up on the rigging, putting a pawed finger to her lips to tell the crowd to be quiet. Act 2 The curtain closed, and a loud scraping of the table filled the theatre space, as it was being moved behind the curtain. The noise drowned out Yasu as she started to narrate the next scene with the spotlight shining down on her. She was too absorbed in editing her script, as she narrated, and didn’t realize she hadn’t been heard. Her arms opened wide in broad gestures, dramatically giving the oration of her life, even while one hand was furiously scribbling on the paper. Finally the table stopped making its yowl-inducing noise, her voice eventually carrying over the audience, “... and there were five henchmen waiting for her. She lay in wait for the opportunity to free her people.” She looked up and smiled at the crowd, pleased with her edits and performance. The stage was set as the heavy table. It wasn’t well thought through though, sitting in the corner with all the ‘Purinas’ tied up, and the five hostage takers holding their katanas, waving them at the hostages. The hostages, including the three suspiciously-dressed Purinas, were passing around quarter-loafs of bread and small glasses of water between them, TECHNICALLY more than what their captors had at this point. But they were putting on a good show of famine. Five new nekoyami stood in loose formation in front of Hanso-san, all dressed alike in ninja garb. “‘And when the Empress saw the breadth of her domain, she wept, for there were no more realms to conquer’,” the Spirit of Taking quoted randomly, yet perhaps with a deeper meaning. “I need you five henchmen to find the Spirit of Giving, and kill her. She will NOT ruin MY Winter Feast. I have taken hostages to ensure she will not take my…” Hanso-san would look at the pitiful empty sacks of the feast. “I have taken hostages to ensure she will not take my Feast!” Two ninja went to the opposite end of the stage, looking for Mc’Claneu-san, who was still up in the rickshaw of a stage rigging. The rigging creaked loud and looked like it was going to buckle, but the Spirit of Giving was small and light on her feet. She dropped down to the stage, and kung fu attacked one of the henchmen, while the other purposefully ignored her to search a few meters away for her. Mc’Claneu-san took a knife to her shoulder, and she yowled, but not before she pretended to twist the nekoyami’s head savagely. “Yippee-Ki-Yay, Mother-F’er.” she said as he fell to the ground. She hardcore pulled the knife from her shoulder and proclaimed, “I have a knife now! Ninja vanish.” She faded back into the shadows. In the shadows, a loud URK! was yelled, and the spotlight swung to its source. In a chair, one of the henchmen lay dead in the chair with writing on his kimono, ‘Now I have a Katana, Ho Ho Ho’. This henchman was found by the second, still alive, of the original pair, and he ran off stage in fear. The stage darkened, and then suddenly two spotlights fell on opposite ends of the stage. One on Hanso-san, the other on Mc’Claneu-san, their backs turned away from one another. The Spirit of Giving was standing on a slightly raised platform on the far end of the stage from the table. Both brought their paw up to their head, as if in mental communication with each other. “Why are you doing this, Mc’Claneu-san?” Hanso-san asked. “Just a Fly in the ointment, Hans. The monkey in the wrench. The Pain in the Ass. I will not let you steal Winter Feast…” “I’m in charge!” Hanzo exclaimed. "Oh, You're in charge? Well, I got some bad news for you Hans, from up here. It doesn't look like you're in charge of kitty poop." McClaneu-san, stabbed, bruised now, and one arm hanging limp at her side, jumped off the raised platform and went back into the shadows. Yasu looked riveted toward the stage, even after the scene ended. As the spotlight shone down on her, she finally shook herself out of it. That was some darn good writing, even if she did say so herself. Damned Old Man Sushi and his liberties. She smiled to the crowd and spoke, “The Spirit of Giving was a benevolent spirit, she gave love and cheer. She embodied family, and sharing, and all the positive things that came from those original hardships. She gave gifts to all people of the realm, whether bad or good, because she doesn’t care about that, she just wants to give you her love. But let us not forget… you don’t mess with Winter Feast or she will *#@% you up.” Yasu was actually bleeping herself instead of cursing, a blush crossing her face at the near word of curse she had spoken. The spotlight dimmed on her once again. The light shone on the hostages, the four gods, and the Spirit of Taking, Hanso-san. The Cabbalan-looking Purina stood up and started laughing with Hanso-san. He spoke a brief line, stuttering, obviously a new actor, “I am glad you found out about our feast. I like being mean and betraying and taking. Screw you other Purinas, I am with them now.” He pointed to the gods and the Spirit of Taking. All six laughed, as the hostages cried and ate their crappy bread and water. The light faded from them, transitioning to the opposite end of the stage with the raised platform. Mc’Claneu-san was kung fu fighting with one of the henchmen. She used both knife and katana, though she was covered in her own blood, with wounds and scratches make-uped all over her body. Her kimono was in tasteful shambles. Finally she landed a stroke, and the henchman fell off the raised platform. The Spirit of Giving looked down over the edge at him and said, "Welcome to the Feast, Pal." in classic cheesy action one-liner fashion. Mc’Claneu-san hobbled off the platform, looking like she had been through a war, when she stopped at a part of the stage covered in what appeared to be glass shard bits. She looked to them, to the empty floor next to them, then to the shards… then looked at Yasu, who shrugged and blushed, and then back to the shards. She sighed, and started to walk quickly over them yowling for several moments during and after. She was one beat-up kitty. Was that real blood dripping off her on the stage? Their production value sure increased… or had it? The last surviving minion, the one that found the writing on the kimono, finally arrived to report back to Hanso-san. He appeared furious, “If none of you incompetent fools can do this, I will have to do this myself. It makes sense… I should be the one to TAKE a life.” He once again over emphasised the word take, as if everyone didn’t get what he was. He drew his katana, and stalked off out of the spotlight. Act 3
Yasu shot the actor who was playing the Spirit of Giving an apologetic look. Most of it was makeup, but she demanded sacrifices from her actors. That may have been real glass… for thematic impact. Yisu would demand no less. She cleared her throat, stuffing the heavy guilt upon her for the sacrifices made deep down into her belly. The spotlight shone upon her and she smiled at the crowd. “The stage was set for the last battle between Giving and Taking. If Mc’Claneu-san won, then the gods would be banished and the… ummm Feast would continue, and all would be happy. If Hanso-san won… forever would the gods rule with tyranny against the Winter Feast… and the Spirit of Taking would reign supreme as the heavyweight holiday spirit of the world… orld… orld… orld…” Yasu mimicked an announcer echo to perfection. The light dimmed, and a large light lit the center of the stage. In the center, both holiday spirits squared off on a large raised platform, slid into place from the far end for this scene. They were surrounded by the rest of the cast, hostages still on the ground and the bad guys standing… watching. Mc’Claneu-san stood, her hands raised, showing no weapons, while her katana was strapped to her back, ‘hidden’ from Hanso-san. “I… am… defenseless.” She acted badly. “Please… do… not drop your guard. I… have… no… weapons.” The bad nekoyami launched himself at her, his katana raised high. Some of the surrounding nekoyami were yelling, “Don’t fall for her trap!” But it was too late. “HA!” exclaimed the badly-wounded Spirit of Giving, as she tried to reveal her ‘hidden’ katana, but it got entangled in her straps. She yelled, “PAUSE SCENE!” She then took several moments, with assistance, to untangle the katana from the straps. She had it at the ready, when she said “UNPAUSE SCENE!” The scene continued, as both cats took up stances and did fantastical acrobatic leaps of kung fu, their katanas clashing with sparks as they passed each other. Mc’Claneu-san looked like she was about to fall over, but in one last lunge, she dramatically ‘skewered’ the Spirit of Taking. He fell to the ground laughing, looking up at the Spirit of Giving. “You are too late! If I can’t have Winter Feast, NO ONE CAN HAVE WINTER FEAST!” With that he yanked a cord that was on the ground, and all the cats scattered around them as a large trap door opened up toward the back of the stage. Then it happened. First one firework went off!... Spiraling into the air with a high pitched wheeze, exploding a short distance above the frozen lake and stage. Then another… until four or five of them shot off in rapid succession. But in typical nekoyami fashion, one of the firing tubes was misplaced and it hit the rigging… Mc’Claneu-san wet herself and looked on the fireworks display gone wild with huge explosions bursting above the crowd in a spectacular display of fire and sparkle. Meanwhile on the ground, the stage caught fire, and last seen was the Spirit of Giving jumping off the stage in a dramatic fashion, as a firework whizzed by just missing her. Long moments of what would later become, ‘The Great Firework Catastrophe’, happened, and luckily the Kabuki-Cat Theater can still claim that no loss of life to a nekoyami occurred during the production of a play. The fireworks ended and the support rigging for the stage was in shambles. Luckily a space was still clear so the show could go on, and the cast cautiously resumed their places. Yasu climbed up to her narrator’s podium, eyeing the destroyed stage with a critical gaze. Someone was going to get fired for that debacle. But as Yisu always said, the show must go on. She looked down on her notes and sighed. The set had been destroyed, the food eaten, and half her notes were singed. She threw the last two pages to the ground, lifting her gaze as she spoke, no spotlight available this time, “The realm was merry, and all throughout the land we celebrate Winter Feast with food and gifts in remembrance of harder times and when the gods took all from the humans. Whether Give or Take, the Spirit of Winter Feast will be upon us all, and may we bring a new year in for the realm! The End.” The rest of the nekoyami looked confused, but gave a half-hearted hooray, though it was obviously unrehearsed. One bag of scraps was recovered from the stage wreckage, and the cast started to eat from it, all of them humming an old-timey song to reflect the holiday. “Should Old Acquaintance be forgot, and never thought upon…” Yisu stepped up onto the stage and raised her voice. Despite all the noise of the feast, and the Nekoyami being so small, her voice boomed across the camp. "Welcome! Welcome! Greenies! Pinkies! And everything in between, to another jaw dropping, thigh slapping, belly laughing performance by BEST troupe of actors ever to grace Sincadere -- The Kabuki-Cat Theater Troupe." Yisu had hyping up the performance down to an art by now. "Please! Everyone get comfortable and settle in... as the Kabuki Cats proudly regales you all with the tale of the First Tribe of Orcs in.... " Dun Dun Dun. "...DANCES WITH CHICKENS!" ******ACT 1 SCENE 1****** The fires around the platform go dim as the stage is darkened, and the only thing casting light is a single candle on a miniature writing desk. Yisu, the leader of the Kabuki-Cat Troupe, is writing on a strip of parchment. Above her, a hooded lantern is shining a spotlight down on her by a precariously perched Nekoyami stage-hand. Yisu speaks in a somber tone as she continues to write while occasionally peering up at the stars through the branches hanging over the camp…. “Dear Diary, I arrived to find the Black Tusk Camp… deserted. I am now waiting for the orcs’ return or word from the Empire. Camp is in exceedingly poor condition. Have decided to assign myself clean-up duty beginning tomorrow. Supplies abundant. The forest is everything I dreamed it would be. There can be no place like this on Sincadere. Almost a month and no one has come. The longer this condition persists, the less inclined I am to believe that anyone will…” Yisu stops writing suddenly and looks up at the sound of a group of orc-cats marching in front of her, shouting boisterously and hoisting hastily carved wooden deer above their heads. The cat blinks, then quickly adds. “Oh. Guess they were just out out hunting…to be continued!” While she is writing, another Nekoyami steps quietly behind her out of her field of view, holding a sign above his head and in massive bold letters the sign reads – ‘Its Been 10 Minutes Since Her Arrival In the Camp… >.<’ ~~~~~~~~~ The hooded lantern above closes on Yisu, darkening her writing desk. Light then floods the center of the stage. Off in the shadows, Yisu puts on an elaborate feathered headdress and runs to the center of the stage where five Nekoyami garbed as spirits and seven more wearing orc masks stood waiting with a single dark Nekoyami in all black balanced on clearly uneven stilts. A trio of cats spring from the darkness, paper streamers trailing behind them as they ran counter-clockwise around the group while “Oooooooohing and Meeeeowing” to show the backwards passage of time. ~~~~~~~~~~ Yisu pipes up in a much higher tone than she used during the monologue. “I am...Dances with Chicken. I was a Nekoyami in the olden days, before we were LIBERATED by the Great Dragon! I find a clearing, empty and bountiful. Oh how Blessed I am! There is no such clearing like this on Sincadere!” The Dark Nekoyami on stilts spoke up in an overly villainous, and if asked, dastardly voice, “I am Msch-Enzi!” his name coming out like a sneeze from the cat’s face. I am mean, I am evil! I trample and make sure all Nekoyami do not have a Master or Mistress. Freedom, which is the bane of the Nekoyami, is my weapon. None can stand in my way!!!” He would cackle madly as if drunk with power. The Earth and Fire elemental Nekoyami stepped forward as one. “We five: Earth, Fire, Water, Wind and Spirit. Are the Elder Ones! We don’t like the Nasty Msch-Enzi! He rolled around and made us. But he is mean.” The Earth and Fire elemental looked to one another then both threw down some powder that filled the stage that had all the Nekoyami coughing till it disappeared. When it cleared, and after a rush of paws on stone, instead of two people, there was one female Elemental spirit that looked like an orc. “We are no longer Earth and Fire, we are Krank-lob-oorz, Krank for short. We are a Dark Mommy and we give birth to the First Tribe.” Fan Fare from behind the stage blares out loudly from cats puffing their cheeks and yowling at the top of their little lungs! One of the seven orc nekoyami step forward: “I am He that Should Not Be Named! I am the Dark Lord,” Msch-Enzil seemed offended, “and I am the Destroyer of all those that have a lightning bolt on their forehead! My brothers and sisters and I make up the first tribe. We have the Iron One '' One of the orc nekoyami bowed. “The Slavelord! The Burning One, and the Thunderer!” Metal wobble sounds came from behind the stage to mimic Thunder. The Nekoyami were of course given the real names of the First Tribe, but they were too hard for the cats to pronounce. They would get titles instead… The one that bowed, who looked oddly like the Great and Glorious Gaboon, the Iron One pointed to Dances with Chicken, “Hark! I see a cat in the clearing we were going to settle! We must beat our fists against our chest and show her we aren’t afraid!” They started to do so at Dances with Chicken, pounding their paws vigorously against their chests while more cats beat drums behind stage. ******ACT 1 SCENE 2****** The lights start to fade on the main stage, and Yisu yanks off her headdress, sending a few feathers flying as she rushes back towards the miniature writing desk. She throws herself at the desk, tumbling head over heels to land her butt right in the seat moments before the spotlight kitty shone his lantern on the monologue stage. Yisu huffed and puffed a few times to catch her breath, picking her brush up to write again…. “Dear Diary, ...There does seem to be a chicken who is intent on the goings on here. He does not seem inclined to be a nuisance however, and has been my only company..if he comes calling tomorrow, I will name him Lunch….. It is the loneliest of times... but I cannot say that I am unhappy without my fellow Nekoyami…Have had my first activities with the Orcs. One came to me and tried to show me around, his name was Brokil. Do not know how many more orcs that will show interest, but I am taking steps for another visitation. Am burying excess Nekoyami dolls before the goblins riot, lest it fall into enemy hands. “ ~~~~~~~~~~ Yisu would stop and look at the crowd expecting gasps. She waited a long awkward ten seconds before shrugging, and snapping her pawed finger. The light went out around her, she was seen putting on the headdress and running to center stage, huffing, only the first Orcs were there, the rest lined the stage in the background while the timey-whimey cats did their circles around the group. Woooweeeewooooo. ~~~~~~~~~~ Yisu spoke up in the same high pitched voice, “I was welcomed into the tribe! I did not have a name then, but they saw me chasing a chicken….” A small nekoyami dressed like a chicken tried to trip her with its beak. She then rolled up some paper and started chasing and whacking at the chicken. The First Tribe watched and whispered amongst themselves, “Ta-Tanka….Ta-Tanka.” The nekoyami stopped chasing the chicken and looked to first orcs, “What does that mean?” She asked. In unison, the orcs spoke with reverence, even the Dark Mommy, “Dances with Chickens….” There was a smaller nekoyami with a goblin mask grinning. He spoke slyly, “I am The Grinning One, ancestor to ALL gobbos. And I want to do lewd things to Dance with Chickens.” Dances with Chickens blushed, bringing a fan to her face. ******ACT 2 SCENE 1****** Yisu was nearly out of breath by the time she ran back to her spot on the monologuing stage, gasping and gulping in air raggedly. She reached up for a moment, wiping sweat from her brow before taking up her brush again to resume her depictions of her own experiences with the orcs. “Dear Diary, A war game is going against this Huts With Many Pebbles and I have asked to go. I sensed that I have made a mistake in doing so but I could not bring myself to take it back. They are my friends and from what little I gather The Huts With Many Pebbles have been very hard on these people. I.. hope I have not overstepped my bounds… On another note….I have been accepted into the camp, and have met the most beautiful of goblins….Mick Dagger” If anyone glanced at her writing desk notes, heart surrounded his name, with Y+M = <3 everywhere on the page. ~~~~~~~~~~ Yisu stood again and blew her new boyfriend, Mick Dagger, a kiss before she put on the headdress, which had a lot less feathers in it from before with its overuse. She ran back on stage, her costume shifting slightly out of place because of all the back and forth. On the stage, the elemental cats, The Elder Ones, stood to one side of the stage looking disapprovingly. The First tribe orcs were on the other side facing them, with Yisu and Msh-enzi standing in the center. Breathless she spoke in the changed high pitched voice, facing the big bad dark nekoyami on stilts. ~~~~~~~~~~ “We of the First Tribe have come to defeat you, Msh-enzi!” Again it sounded like she was sneezing when saying the name. It seems Dances with Chickens was made one of the Tribe of Great Myth. The First Tribe actors all took up very poor kung fu stances, and so did Msh-enzi, as best that he could on stilts. Dances with Chicken rushes past the stilted nekoyami, towards Kronk, the Dark Mommy, who was with her Elder Ones. “Dark Mommy!” implored Yisu, “Your babies are fighting the big bad! We need help!” The scene erupted as the First tribe started doing kungfu. One or two were hoisted up on the rickshaw of a rigging that was precariously placed on the stones of the Black Tusk platform. They swung and spun unspectacularly during the fight. Dances with Chicken charged Msh-enzi with battle rage, or at least pretend battle rage. She was small, but she knew how to bite ankles, and she did that, and bit into wood. As the fight started, the Elder Ones all shook their head as one, and Kronk turned on them with her hand on her hips. “How dare you stand aside while my babies are fighting!” The one known as Spirit spoke, “Not our fight, not our problem.” Dark Mommy responded, “But he is mean! So what he rolled around and gave birth to you. He is mean and bad!” The Elder Ones, once again, just shook their head. Once this interaction had ended, all the First Tribe except the Iron One, the cat miraculously still had his pillow tucked in his clothes to mimic the Great and Glorious Gaboon’s belly, abruptly laid down, as if defeated. “SEE!” Dark Mommy continued, “You hate my babies and let them be defeated.” ******ACT 2 SCENE 2****** Yisu had to hop off stage and chug a glass of water, pouring some of it onto herself to cool off from all the running back and forth between scenes. This was the last time she was gonna fit a story inside a story! She shook her head, sending droplets of water flinging from her fur. Oh no. Someone should have put a splash zone warning for the front row of the audience. No one had warned them they might get wet. Now refreshed, Yisu scurried to her writing desk. The lights on the main stage went dim once more, and a spot-light, wobbling unsteadily shone down upon her. “Dear Diary, “Mick has been teaching me the most delightful orc words! Though..I am confused. The rest of the goblins all snicker and elbow each other when I repeat them. Perhaps I have not been pronouncing them right? Still…. Nothing I have been told about these people is correct. They are not monsters and thieves. They are not the bogeymen they have been made out to be.” ~~~~~~~~~~ Yisu stared for a few moments with longing in her eyes at Mick Dagger, getting lost in her own dreams. She was brought out of it as the hood lantern winked out from around her, and the stage was lit empty of ‘Dances with Chickens’. On the stage, the Slavelord stood, looking confused, along with all the Elder Ones, all looking confused as well. This was not part of the script. Yisu came running on stage and gives a small apologetic bow to the crowd. ~~~~~~~~~~ The Slavelord steps forward and in a loud whisper to carry over the crowd he says, “The Elder Ones like you Dances with Chicken! You will lure each one to you, and I will capture them! They were mean, and left us to be defeated, and they need to be punished.” Yisu’s character nodded and looked like she was a part of a grand conspiracy. Dances with Chicken spoke, addressing the Elder Ones, “I want to give you a gift for being awesome! Come seek me out one by one, cause it is private! I promise it isn’t a trap.” She would add the last. The Elder Ones looked at one another and shrugged, all of them turning their backs to Yisu. One by one they would come to her, and one by one, the Slavelord would put them in chains, the nekoyami playing the part would wrap loose ropes around each Elder Ones wrists. Half the rope ties were falling off. Yisu jumped up and down after the last, her paws curled upward into claws, and said hyper excitedly, “AND ALL WILL FEAR AND RESPECT DANCES WITH CHICKEN!” As if she captured them all by herself. The Grinning One walked up to her, and gave her a saviors kiss through his gobbo mask. Yisu blushed, surprised. Was that in the script? What would Mick think? ******ACT 3 SCENE 1******
This time another Nekoyami had to help Yisu scurry back to her desk, legs starting to wobble from all the running around. She dropped her headdress next to her seat, the lone feather standing strong. Her helper leaned down to whisper in her ear, and suddenly, the cat’s face went red and her mismatched eyes went wide. Oooops! She coughed and quietly pulled the straps of her top back in place, whistling as if nothing had happened when she picked her brush up. “Dear Diary, It was hard to know how to feel. I had never been in a war game before. I have heard that the bunnies do this too, but I have never been inclined to participate in battle till now. This one had not been fought for territory or riches or to make men free. This battle was all ego. It had been fought to preserve MOG…” Another cat slipped behind her to hold up another sign plastered with question marks the moment she mentioned MOG. “ ..it had been fought to test their skills, to build camaraderie amongst the tribe, and secure bragging rights. I felt a pride I had never felt before.” ~~~~~~~~~~ At the end of this monologue, Yisu appeared focused, and purposely didn’t look at her main squeeze this time. She hopped up and sprinted to the stage faster than before, feathers flew everywhere. Her headdress was only just a lone feather at this point. She weezed on stage as the light hit her. She was standing with the First Tribe and Dark Mommy. They were squared off against Msh-enzi. ~~~~~~~~~~ Yisu spoke in that different voice she kept using to denote her Dances with Chickens character, “And so the final battle commenced. I, Dances with Chicken, joined the First Tribe and Dark Mommy to put down ‘The Rolling One’” Her paws came up in quotes, she didn’t want to pronounce Msh-enzi again. “It was a fierce battle but in the end, I….we were victorious” The stage exploded as the actors took kung fu stances, and the same ones as before were hoisted up into the air. Once again, they just swung wildly and twirled in place. But on the ground floor, the action was fierce as the dark cat on stilts was assaulted on all sides. Finally, it was Gaboon cat, errr The Iron One, with his GREAT BELLY OF MIGHT, and Dances with Chicken, who toppled the giant Msh-enzi. The dark nekoyami fell to the ground, in a not so gentle manner, causing some of the nekoyami faces to flash concern, and the mean one was defeated. The Dark Lord! He Who Shall Not Be Named, ran forward exclaiming, “I AM THE DESTROYER!” And he pretended to eat the dying Msh-enzi. In reality, he was checking to see if the other nekoyami was ok. ******ACT 3 SCENE 2****** Yisu had to be carried to her writing desk, disheveled, and plastered with sweat. The light on the main stage went dim. The stage-hand working the hooded lantern wobbled unsteadily, nearly tipping over on the unsteady rigging as the light was turned back towards the small monologue stage. Yisu heaved a sigh as she slumped into her seat. Silence began to stretch, followed by a soft snore before one of the cat’s poked her ribs. Yisu squealed and jerked back awake, snatching her brush up into her paw! She took a deep breath as she prepared her final entry, but not before blowing Mick a quick kiss. “Dear Diary, I thought Mick and I had been discreet but apparently we fooled no one. Henbutt said if the match was accepted, many bird skulls would be presented to me. I.. had never been married before. I don’t know if all brides have the same experience. But..as Henbutt began to speak of what was expected of a goblin wife, my mind began to swim in a way that shut out everything but him. The tiny details of his clothes. The contours of his shape. The glint of cunning in his eyes. The smallness of his feet. I knew that the love between us would be forever.” ~~~~~~~~~~ If hearts could fill her eyes, they would be beating out of her sockets, as she stared lovingly at Mick Dagger, her boyfriend. Once again the spotlight shut out, bringing her back to reality. Yisu raced to the stage, this time making it there before the spotlight kitty hit his cue. Yisu’s fur was drenched with sweat. ~~~~~~~~~~ The stage only had The First Tribe, Dances with Chicken included amongst them, The Dark Mommy, and a final figure with three eyes. Dances with Chickens turned to The Grinning One, an gave him a kiss on his mask, her victory phase. She did a side glance towards Mick Dagger, guilt written on her face, hoping he would understand that actresses had to give kisses during plays to others. She breathed and spoke, “Now First Tribe and Dark Mommy! Make many children, and then go off to the Good Place with all the elf women and men one can have!” The new three eyed orc nekoyami stood forward as Yisu went off stage, hand in hand with The Grinning One. “I am MOG! Mog is good! All Orc babies and gobbo babies shall follow Mog! We will become a great nation of Mog! MOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!” He would scream out his name in a glorious primal scream. The Gaboon/Iron One cat sat on a throne and nodded, cause all was good. All was Mog. **THE END**** The entire troupe lined up on either side of Yisu, who was still huffing and panting to catch her breath, and bowed while two of the cats held up one giant sign that read -- THE END. Yisu raised her voice one last time. "Thank you all! If ever wish to secure a Kabuki-Cat performance for you own events, you can find us in the Empire! And don't forget to check out our gift shop for Nekoyami Dolls, authenticating Meatgrindah Cards, and Broki's fine soaps and oils!" Cause why wouldn't she miss a chance to plug an advertisement not just for the troupe but their store as well. `•.¸¸.•´´¯`••Crouching Sushi, Hidden Noodle - A Kung Fu Tragic Love Story`•.¸¸.•´´¯`••
Original Play by Yisu (Not really Old Man Sushi wrote it.), sponsored by Old Man Sushi (Best Sushi in all the land.) Performed at the Summer Festival Introduction <Twelve cats raced onto the blood soaked pavement, each one carrying a large crate, and a few of them dragging a medium sized stage onto the blood soaked stone. Within minutes a stage was erected, curtains lined the three sides facing the bleachers, and there was a wooden lattice construct with ropes tangled throughout that sat hap hazardly on top of the stage. One lone nekoyami, Yisu, came forth from the curtain when done and stood off to the side, notes in hand to read from. She cleared her voice. > "Two stalls, both alike in dignity, In the fair Empire, where we lay our scene, From ancient grudge break to new fighting," <Narrator rifles through her notes, obviously missing a page. After finding an acceptable place to continue, she says in a louder, over dramatic tone to cover up her mistake.> "Do with their death bury their stall owners' strife. The fearful passage of their death-mark'd love, And the continuance of their emperess' rage, Which, but their children's end, nought could remove, Is now the twelve hours' traffic of our stage..." < A nekoyami peaks its head out and whispers something to her. Yisu throws up her paws.> "Thirty minute traffic to our stage.....you know what?! The End. On with the play." ------------------------------------------------- Act 1 Post 1 - Scuffle between two stalls The curtains pull back and the stage is set. Two stalls, with child like signs painted across the top stood center stage. One was called "Crouching Sushi" and the other "Hidden Noodle". The lighting implied it was dusk as the curtains were partially set to block the sun, dimming the stage. Three cats stood in front of each stall, with the Sushi stand housing a fourth female nekoyami, who kept a concerned expression on her face as she worried about the sushi gang. "I am Yan, of the Noodle shop. And I say touching the Empress gives 1,000 years of good fortune!," spoke the leader of the noodle shop gang, his 'gang' were dressed as stock boys. "And I am Ishi, not of the Sushi shop, but I like sushi! And I say the Empress is the Fortune of the Nekoyami, and you dare not sully her celestial body!" This cat was followed by two more stockboys, though they carried signs emoting that they smelled like fish. One of the Noodle gang spoke up from behind Yan, "Do you bite your paw at us, sir?!" Ishi spoke up, "I do bite my paw at you, sir." The Noodle gang rose up, hoisted on ropes, paws spread wide, and legs crooked to kick, but Yan held up his paws out to his sides, holding them back. "We shall not disrupt the small peace of our two stalls. Make haste with your insult....for now." His tone ended ominous, and he and his gang fled the scene. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Post 2 - Romeo and Juliet Meet **The Narrator clears her throat and simply said, "Later that evening."** Yan walks up to the noodle stall, shoulders slumped. He seems discouraged, not angry from the previous meeting. He sits on a small stool that he usually sits on during business hours when it is slow. He sighs and raises his head up to the sky forlornly, "Why must noodle and sushi fight?! Why must they put our Fortune on a pedastal, and not realize she was brought to our realm to bless us with her heavenly body." Out of the shadows the female cat comes out, hearing his words, her face showed that she believed in his words. "Yan-san, I believe what you say." she almost whispers this, her whole demeanor overly feminine and subservient. Yan's face lights up. They had never spoken. She was an ocean away as they both managed their stalls, just a few feet a part. He whispers, almost to himself, “O, she doth teach the stone lanterns to burn bright.” He stands up and stand a meter away from her. "I am Zizi, good pilgrim." As she blushed, why she called him pilgrim, no one knew. "I know your name. And I have admired you from a far. May this pilgrim pray at the shrine of your lips? May I receive a blessing only the holy Empress and you may bestow? Thus from my lips, by thine, my sin is purged." Yan steps forward, and gives her a rough tongued lick on her muzzle, then darts away. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Act 2 Post 3 - Romeo and Juliet sniff catnip together **The Narrator stands up from her seated position, and says half heartedly after taking a few shots of sake, her once twelve hour play ruined, "Two days later, that night."** Zizi, climbs up upon the Sushi stall's roof. Breathless, she looks to a low hanging moon with some wooden stars, dangling from a rope. She reaches out with a paw forlornly and says, "O Yan, Yan, wherefore art thou Yan? Deny thy stall and refuse the old man; Or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love and I’ll no longer be of the sushi stand.” From the shadows of the noodle stall, Yan steps out and admires his fair intended. Zizi continues into the night, "‘Tis but thy stall that is my enemy: Thou art thyself, though not of the Noodle stand. What’s a noodle? It is nor hand nor foot; Nor arm nor face nor any other part belonging to a nekoyami.". Yan steps forward further and speaks from his heart, "I take thee at thy word. Call me but sushi, and I’ll be new baptized. Henceforth I never will be Yan." Zizi started at his voice, but he did not hesitate as he climbed the side of the stall, nimble as his kind tended to be. Staring off into the wooden moon, Yan pulls out a small canister and opens it, "Let us share in this catnip. Let us express our love for one another." At that, both dip a paw and sniff the 'nip. They then stared longly into each other's eyes and started to yowl all through and into the night. The curtain closed to setup for the next part. -------------------------------- Post 4 - Fight between both stalls **The Narrator grimaces, as her dialog was butchered to make for a thirty minute play. She didn't even bother to stand up, and or even wait until she was done with her sake before saying, "The very next day."** The curtain reopens and shows both gangs in front of their respective stalls. They are in their own huddle, the leader between their own pair of stockboys. Yan's group is lit from above by a lantern hanging precariously by a rope. "I say our gang's name should be the Montamews!" said one of the sushi stock cats. "No no, it should be the Jets," Said the other. Yan cut them both off, "We don't need a name. We are the Hidden Noodle! Let us end this!" --------- Their light dimmed, and a lantern lit above Ishi's gang. -------- One of the stock cats said, "I want our name to be the Catpulets." The other two just looked at him. "I say we call ourself the Sharks....cause we have teef!" exclaimed the other one. Ishi shook his head solemnly, "Enough fighting about names. This glorious stall's owner, the Old Man, named us when he named his shop Crouching Sushi. May the fortunes bless him."" As with all philosophical debates, things have degraded into violence between the two gangs. They didn't exchange words. One believed in Luck, the other, a Fortune. This fight will determine who spoke true. Both gangs leap into the air with ropes from the rig above, the hanging lanterns bouncing and shaking dangerously as the entire top of the stage shook from the strain of six nekoyami swinging. To their credit, they looked graceful, though their aim was off, as kicks and flying punches swung wide from their target. One stock cat, a noodle stock cat just twirled in place on his rope. Finally it all ended, when Yan scooped up a potted plant and crashed it into the sushi stall, making it crumble into a heap. All six cats yelped, so did the others off stage that were handling the ropes, and the 6 came crashing to the stage. Both pairs of stock cats recovered and scooted their leaders off in opposite directions. One of the sushi cats yelled from offstage, "A plague o’ both your stalls!" ----------------------------------------- Act 3 Post 5 - Refusal to be torn a part. The curtains draw around to the sides so that there is only an opening in the front. Both Yan and Zizi come walking from on stage out of the entrance, front and center to the crowd. Each is carrying a package. They kneel on the ground and stare into one another. Zizi speaks first, "My beloved Yan. You will be exiled for the destruction of the Old Man's stall. The Empress is benevolent, but she also is wrathful for those that disturb her peace and serenity." The tiny female nekoyami reached her paw into the air and over dramatically yowled in sorrow. She continues, "I can not live knowing we must be apart." Yan interrupts her with a paw of his on her muzzle, "Shhhhh, I too can't live without you." He opens up his package, and old moldy noodles lay in the pouch, "I brought this, so that we may be together in the heavens, if not on the earth." She in turn opened her sushi, and the smell of week old rotted fish wafted to the play's spectators. "I have brought my Master's old left over sushi, that I tucked away for such occasion. Take what I give, and I shall take what you give. We shall reunite in the Heavens." Both nekoyami took the other's package. Yan made a genuine face of disgust, and he scooped an old pile of mush sushi and he ate it. Quickly. And just as quickly, he stood up, ran back to the stage, a small crash, and a wretching sound came from the back. Moments later, he came stumbling out. "O true master of the sushi. Thy drugs are quick. Thus with a kiss, I die." He goes to lick her one last time, but she smells the rotten fish and barfs, and shy's away. Yan falls to the ground dead. Zizi, takes the package of noodles, gags, and then says, "O happy noodle, This is thy sheath: there rot further, and let me die." She then ate the noodle. She then sprinted on stage and repeated the process as Yan before. Coming back to the front, she wiped her mouth, then fell over dead. Solemnly, a nekoyami comes from the curtained stage and stands over the two dead nekoyami. She is dressed gaudily, and she was walking on stilts. "I am she who was once Empress, Fortune of Luck and nekoyami. The tragedy today, is not this love affair that produced chaos and destruction in its wake, but that both gangs were right. I should be venerated as a fortune, but I have come to this mortal realm to bestow my blessing on the worthy, my beloved nekoyami." At that, the rest of the cast, and the back stage, twelve in total, came to the front, and all the nekoyami bowed. Yisu, frustrated that she had to cut a twelve hour play down to thirty minutes was sprawled out drunk at the corner of the stage. `•.¸¸.•´´¯`•.¸¸.•´´¯A Day in the Life of the Cabbage of Obskure Arts`•.¸¸.•´´¯`•.¸¸.•´´¯
Performed by the Kabuki-Cats at the Bound Elf for a CCOA End of Terms Ceremony ----------------------------- The stage was set, and all of the much beloved and totally world-famous Kabuki-Cats were in place. A lone cat stepped up to the edge of the stage, looking suspiciously like the infamous Headmistress of the College. Yisu, or Aigie-Cat, as she would be known, bowed to the waiting crowd. "Welcome Caballans! To the first and only performance of .... A Day in the Life of Cabbage Collage of Obskure Arts!" Had the cat just entirely fucked up the name of the school, or was it on purpose? Well, the Kabuki-Cats weren't exactly known for their accuracy or true to history re-tellings of events! She waved a paw and the various props needed for the play were brought down from the stairs above by a few of the other Nekoyami, wobbling awkwardly carrying screens far to set up a tiny classroom. "Now, we have only seen the Collage once, but I am certain this will be a true and accurate representation of a typical day of making arts!" Dear lord, did the cats really think the college was some strange art school? The actors began to take their place, all but Aigie-Cat gathering behind the single student desk. A few of the Student-Cats snickered and started pushing each other around, throwing rolled up paper balls and generally being disruptive. Then in walked the feline Headmistress, decked out in a slinky, revealing, black and red dress, multiple scrolls tucked under one arm, a wand in her other hand....and a MASSIVE witchy hat on her fuzzy head. And behold! The ridiculous cat had even sewn a red plushie Vaeros to the brim of her hat. Hell, she even her own copy of Aigie's glasses perched on her nose. As soon as she entered the scene, the Student-Cats all shut up at once, hunkered down a little, and started to cower in mock fear. Aigie-Cat walked to her own desk, head held high and proud, seeming to ignore the clearly terrified students waiting their lesson. With a tap tap tap, she rapped her wand on the edge of her desk. "Roll-call..." Her head turned, gaze sweeping over the Student-Cats. "Lewd-Demon!" One of the Student-Cats, dressed up in tight fitting leather with paper mache wings strapped to her back and so much silk stuffed into the front of her tight black dress, the poor cat looked to have bigger tits than even Yisu! "Present, Mistress!" The Lewd Demon-Cat bounced as she announced herself, fake stuffed boobs wobbling. Aigie-Cat nodded and looked to the next. "Emo Efl!" The next cat had an oversized white wig and dark ears strapped to the sides of his head, and the grumpiest looking face mask the world had ever seen. "Here... Mistress." The feline Headmistress squinted at the Emo-Elf Cat before continuing. "Fake Noodle!" And yet another Nekoyami scooped up the red snake prop on the stool, holding it high over his head and went. "Hissssssssssss." Satisfied, Aigie-Cat checked off an imaginary list. "Silly Imp..." Silence. "Silly Imp!" She smacked her hand on the desk. A few tense moments later a fourth Nekoyami ran onto the stage, dressed in red with a floppy spaded tail made of silk streaming behind her and looking fucking panicked. Aigie-Cat tsked. "This is your last tardy. You will be refilling the paint for today's class. Today's lesson is in the beauty of red." The Silly Imp-Cat dropped to her knees then started crawling backwards, screeeching and wailing, as the other student-cats swarmed around her, holding their wands...which might have looked more like paintbrushes...like they were daggers, and began to viciously 'stab' the Silly Imp-Cat. The Imp-Cat threw out crimson paper streamers all over the place and flopped dramatically to the ground to be pulled off stage. "Bring in the rest of the supplies!" A damn goat was herded onto the stage with a little pack strapped to it, overburdened with books, scrolls, quills, jars of paint, and tiny dark cat plushie tied around the top of her head. Was this..Meira? Aigie-Cat gave the goat a small pat on the head while the Student-Cats resumed their place around their own desk. The feline Headmistress stretched out one of the scrolls on her desk. "Today, we learn... the Flick and Swish." There was a pause, and the cat frowned, looking confused..and panicked for a moment as if she'd made a mistake, or forgotten a line. "Wrong scroll." Tsking, the Aigie-Cat bopped the Meira-Goat on the nose, clearly her assistant had given her the wrong one and gave her that scroll to chew on and pulled out the right one! "To the board with your brushes and paint!" Fuck. They did think it was some evil art school. The Student-Cats scurried to the board with a clamor of noise and commotion while the kitty Headmistress paced back and forth behind them. "Today, you will show me how well you have learned to draw from an example and add your own flair. How to really take something and make it your own." The cats all nodded and mumbled under their breaths, looking a little extra jumpy each time Aigie-Cat got too close to one or the other. She handed each of them a small parchment, and knowing the Nekoyami...it was probably something outlandishly ridiculous. With a critical eye she studied the various Student-Cats as they assaulted the board with the red 'paint' collected from the recently departed Silly Imp-Cat. "That line is too thick, Fail!" Aigie-Cat snapped from behind the Emo Elf-Cat and jabbed her wand into his back, just between his side and arm. The Emo-Elf Cat screamed and crumpled to the ground. "Maybe you can pass in the next life." She muttered, the cat portraying Aigie seeming to have far too much fun with the role as she stepped behind the Lewd Demon-Cat. "You drew a picture of a big red dick? Did you bang Spike before class?! This is not what I asked for! Fail!" And down another student-cat fell! The remaining student was shaking. "Fake Noodle, you are my only hope." The Fake-Noodle Cat took a step back, looking ready to bolt at the slightest hint of displeasure from the much feared Headmistress. Aigie-Cat squinted at the drawing, which...now that the Fake Noodle Cat was out of the way, clearly looked more like a hex symbol. Well, the cats had picked up a number of supplies from the College and had done a lot of looking around. Thankfully, they hadn't gotten into anything dangerous! But they soooo had no idea what had been drawn. "Its not done yet, Mistress!" Aigie-Cat raised her wand as if about to stab the last student, but paused...letting the moment linger in exagerrated slow motion as the Fake Noodle-Cat painted the final line of the hex. "My Obskure Art!" The symbol glowed red for a moment, causing both of the Nekoyami to step back. Aigie-Cat jumped up and down excitedly, having no fucking clue what they'd just done. "Pass! Pass!" The hex...was simply a wave of lust that pulsed outwards...then faded from the board. "See, it is so obscure it vanishes. Brilliant! You have the makings of a true artist!" She stepped over the fallen bodies of the 'dead' students and approached the edge of the stage again. "...and that, is the Day in the Life of Cabbage Collage of Obskure Arts" The fallen actors rolled up to their feet to join the Aigie-Cat in a bow to the crowd. ★★★★Tale of the Floating Orc Lotus Blossom★★★★
Performed at the Jade Lotus Theater Cast: Rukbah - Orc-Cat Accotza - Lizard-Cat Sylvise - Noodle-Cat Dyskord - Blue Horny Half-Oni - Cat Ksenia - Vampiress - Cat Alaric -- Black Oni with Two Wings (demon) - Cat Imp-ress - Hero of the Story Yisu coughed to clear her throat. "Behold...the Tale of the Floating Orc Lotus Blossom. Our cast tonight is Rubkbah, the Orc-Cat" She waved a tiny paw to the Nekoyami dressed in green, black, and wearing a fearsome orc mask. "Accotza, the Lizard-Cat..." Again Yisu waved to another cat, this one with a massive lizard head over his own, eyes blinking out of sync. "...and Sylvise, the Noodle-Cat..." This lady Nekoyami was dressed in white, with a noodly tail and antlers. "Ksenia, the Vampire-Cat.." Oh this poor cat had a creepy vampire mask. "...and Alaric, the demon-cat" Which was the black cat with black wings and a demon mask. All of the cats waved their paws....ready to begin and scurried off to take their starting places! 1. Intro A handful of Nekoyami were tuning their instruments. They were set off to the side of the stage. Another handful was placing props on the stage. The scene appeared to be a more simplified representation of the Floating Lotus sake house. A few barrels, some cushioned tables, and panels painted to look like the rock cavern walls of the hot springs. Nothing was more evident than a very simple drawing of the Floating Lotus sign that was placed at the entrance of the stage, with a large kanji for 'SAKE!' placed all around the flower. There was even a small wooden tub, with the kanji for 'hot springs' labeled on it, placed off to the side. Once the preparations were complete, the Nekoyami, who were preparing the stage, all but vanished. Moments later, five Nekoyami made their way to the stage. Two stood on either side of the stage entrance, they were wearing servant's garbs, and held up signs with the kanji for 'Quiet' on them, and showed the signs to the crowd. The other three took up their positions around a large drinking table on one side of it. One looked to be painted blue with a paper-mache wing on his back. He had a small oni mask over his face, grotesque and evil looking. Two female Nekoyami sat to either side of him. One had paper-mache gremlin ears and a clothe...what looked to appear like a dragon's tail. She was wearing a red dress. The last had a white eye mask, sinister in appearance with narrow slits for eyes, and two tiny little fangs, which peaked out from her mouth. The three sat and pretended to have a silent conversation. One of the servant Nekoyami came up to their table with three sake glasses. As one, all three yelled 'Oppai!', instead of the traditional 'Kanpai!'. The Noodle Nekoyami of the three blushed, one of her overly large breast gourds falling lopsided in response. 2. Act 1 Part 1 Gourd boob corrected, all three drank happily. Once thirst sated, they mimicked conversation again. This time the blue oni cat was boldly staring at the noodle cat's now fixed boob. She seemed to ignore his attention looking hungrily at the wooden bath labled 'hot springs'. All the while, the vampire kitty too was staring at the noodle cat's boobs, and she made biting motions with her mouth. This too went unobserved. While the three played out their parts at the table, two more Nekoyami made their way from the crowd. One was painted green, and was on what appeared to be small stilts to make him bigger than the other Nekoyami. The other continually flicked his tongue out like a snake, and had a clothe tail as well, this one not as fancy as the noodle cat's. They made their way to the isle, and then up the steps to the stage. One final Nekoyami stood up on a dais, just off to the side of the stage. It had tiny spectacles, and it rolled out a scroll. Soft light music started playing with the band. She cleared her throat and spoke in a clear voice, "This bright and sunny day, blessed by she who sits on the High Seat of Heaven, the Empress, was a day like any other. Our village was quiet, and the blessings of the kami were upon us. But who do we spy? Two sinister men, making their way to the sake house. But who will feel retribution this day? The citizen's of the Empire, or those who seek to abuse our riches?" From behind the stage a large sheet of flimsy metal, made just for the occasion, warbled and sounded like thunder in the distance. 3. Act 1 Part 2 The green, slightly larger, Nekoyami bellowed at the top of his lungs. He ended up sounding like a mouse trying to roar. "I am RUKE-BRAH! I am a fierce orc! And someone named Imp Ress has sent me and will pay for all my sake!" The lizard cat nodded, as if this all sounded like it was a fact, and a settled matter. At this declaration, the other three Nekoyami, already seated, looked at him with confusion. And so did the servant cats....the band cats....even the Narrative cat. Those more observant would even see the special fx cats from behind the theater, peek out from the side and look at the orc kitty in confusion. And as if rehearsed (which it was), all those that looked confused, shrugged and continued on as if what he said was perfectly natural and accepted. The orc kitty spoke again, his voice 'booming', "All drinks free, all on Imp Ress!" The other four Nekoyami at the table cheered. The serving cats shrugged and started bringing out bottles of sake. The blue Nekoyami started pulling wine skin after wine skin from under the table and piled them on top. He didn't stop until half the table was covered in wine skins. At the end, he wiped sweat off his brow, leaving a non-blue streak across his forehead. He pointed at one of the serving cats and then to the wine skins, the servant Nekoyami sighed deeply and started dragging one after the other to the tap. All five Nekoyami raised sake bottles and shouted 'Oppai!' and drank deep of their bottles. Again, the noodle cat's OTHER breast had fallen lopsided. She once again blushed and corrected her boob gourds. The blue and vampire Nekoyami, and this time the orc and lizard cat joined in, stared at her now fixed breasts, and all four licked their lips in unison. 4. Act 2 Part 1 The Narrator kitty cleared her throat and spoke, "All was merry in the Floating Lotus Sake House. Even the two sinister beings, un...unbe...unbeknown to the rest of the Sake House, both the Orc and the Lizard man had nef...ne....nefarious plans." It was clear that the poor Nekoyami hadn't written the screenplay, nor did she rehearse it. "They were in fact, using the esteemed Empresses name in vain. Horribly miss speaking it, and causing the Realms coffers to go barren! But what they didn't know is that this wasn't any ordinary sake house. They would soon learn their folly..." Again the thin sheet of metal warbled thunder from behind the Theater. The five Nekoyami continued to drink sake. That is, until the orc started floating, and the lizard man froze in place, then started pawing at invisible intruders. "HELP ME! HELP ME! I'm a crybaby flying orc! HELP ME!", cried the green cat, who had lost his stilts as a rope hoisted him up into the air a meter above the floor. The other end of the rope had three special fx cats holding on for dear life. One held a parchment in its paws, reading it and directing the other two, while still helping with one paw. The lizard kitty swiped left, then swiped right, getting into the invisible fight, and playing up to the crowd, taking center stage. He managed a cartwheel, and then tuck and rolling, then finally the worm, across the ground, before standing up and play fighting with his invisible opponent again. The Narrator Nekoyami cleared his throat, and the lizard kitty blushed, then fought his invisible opponent off to the side in a more subdued manner. The other three Nekoyami laughed at the two who had gotten the 'special' sake. Illustrated by the noodle cat holding up a sign with the kanji for 'special sake' and an arrow pointing at the two. The Orc kitty swung toward the vampire cat and grabbed onto her, lifting her up in the air with them. Parsed amongst the crowd watching the play, various planted Nekoyami gasped in worry and surprise, prompting the audience to do so too. The noodle cat picked up a seat cushion and was chasing the swinging pair under them, hoping to catch them as they fell. The blue oni cat looked like he was going to do something, but shrugged, and continued drinking quite noisily. All the while, the orc cat wailed and cried, and buried his face in vampire kitty's 'cleavage'. 5. Act 2 Part 2 An eighth Nekoyami approached through the audience (including the two servant cats on stage). He seemed jovial in step, but he too wore an oni mask, but this one was black, and he had TWO paper-mache wings on his back. He walked in and immediately pointed and laughed, "Stupid green orc, you drink what you do not know! Stupid Lizard man, you fight nothing." Both ignored him. The new cat suddenly declared, "But I have a cure!" That caught everyone's attention on the stage. Everyone but the orc and lizard kitty. One was preoccupied with groping/crying into the vampire cat, the other saw nothing but invisible foes. The Lizardman cat suddenly turned to the noodle kitty, who was still trying to remain under the swinging pair with a pillow, "Howwww daaare you doooo thissssssss to usssssssssssssss!" He accused her with a thick snake like lisp. The Noodle kitty looked so frightened, both her boob gourds dropped an inch out of their harness as she shirked away behind the black oni kitty. In not so typical oni fashion, the black oni kitty, who had declared his cure (which was now all but forgotten), reached behind the bar and put on a shiny knight's helmet on his head. "I shall defend your oppai boobs, fair noodle," the black oni declared as he and the lizard cat went to the ground rolling around over one another in a tussle. The green orc Nekoyami, holding and groping the vampire Nekoyami, was suddenly cinched up to the ceiling by the rope. They let out a very cat like yowl in surprise. It was obviously unscripted. The Narrative kitty just shook her head at the actor. The noodle kitty ran to the side of the stage and picked up a bamboo pool, "Here grab onto this! I will save you!" She said it with such a crystalline voice. The blue oni cat, who was now laying amongst filled wine skins, had fallen asleep. He abruptly awoke and shouted, "Oppai!" and drank another shot of sake. This time, both boob gourds fell out of the noodle Nekoyami's kimono, rolling a short ways toward the back of the stage. 6. Act 3 part 1 The Narrator Nekoyami cleared her throat, and spoke again, "The Highest and most Majestic Empress knows all that transpires in her realm. Her very touch brings joy and fortune to those that serve her. Because of her most benevolent wisdom, the mighty celestial dragon descended from her palace on high, to take care of these two nefarious visitors." At this announcement, yet another Nekoyami came forward from the back of the audience. She was on stilts taller than even the green orcs, causing her to be as tall as any short human, yet still never as tall as the Empress herself. The Nekoyami wouldn't dare. She was dressed in fine silk robes, and there was a second cat beside her, in a black body suit, throwing sakura petals around her, mimicking the celestial aura of the Empress. She spoke in a soft but musical voice, "I am the most beloved Empress. And I declare all Gaijin (foreigners) are bad, and that you use my most worshiped of names in vain to get free booze." The two on the stage floor continued their scuffle, ignoring the mighty Empress. The flying orc and vampire kitties were trying to grab the bamboo pool the noodle cat was trying to save them with. The Empress stamped her foot and moved forward to the stairs of the stage. Stairs that looked lethal to her with the stilts she wore. She stopped at the foot fo the stairs, and repeated herself, this time her voice wasn't as musical as it was before. Her voice brought all the Nekoyami on stage to her attention. The vampire kitty wiggled one last time in the orc cat's grasp and fell! Luckily, she was Nekoyami, and landed on her feet, but she still glared up at the green kitty. The two fighting on the ground, picked themselves apart and bowed to her. Even the servant cats bowed in turn. That was more like it. The Empress cat was pleased. 7. Act 3 Part 2 "Imp Ress!" Both the green orc and lizard Nekoyami exclaimed at the same time, fear showing on their faces. The Orc saying it through weeping tears, and the lizard with an angry growl. All Nekoyami on stage, in the band, in the special fx crew, and the Narrator looked at one another said "Ahhhhh" simultaneously. Imp Ress was the name of the Empress, which no Nekoyami truly knew. But now they did, and she would forever be named so amongst their kind in praise and humility. The Empress kitty held her self imperiously before the stage, a fan in her hand and pointing at the two criminals, as the others knelt and bowed before her majesty. "For your crimes, you shall be banished from my land, and forever float..and forever fight invisible enemies. Now begone, before you bring dishonor to me and my people again!" As if on cue, the green orc gulped and started swinging wildly around and around high above the stage at the direction of the special fx cats holding his rope. He spun faster and faster and faster and at a certain point they just let go of the rope. His momentum saw him flung out of the stage, over the Empress Nekoyami and audiences' heads and well over the sushi shop directly behind them. A loud splash occurred, and a few silent moments later, a wet green oni masked Nekoyami appeared with a hand raised over his head to show he was alright. During the spectacle, the lizard kitty fought his invisible foes till he was off stage. The planted Nekoyami around the audience cheered loudly, prompting the audience to do so as well. 8. Conclusion/Epilogue All Nekoyami, joined by the green orc and the lizardman kitties, took a bow before the audience. The band did one last fanfare and the Narrator Nekoyami spoke. "And thus concludes the Tale of the Floating Orc Lotus Blossom. Let the lesson be learned, and the morales of the story be discovered. For in them is the honor of our esteemed most fluffiest of Empress. May she live forever. The End." The Nekoyami, bowed once again, this time joined by the Noodle kitty that finally had recovered her boob gourds. All the Nekoyami shouted one last time, "Oppai!!" ★★★★★★A Kabuki-Cat History Lesson★★★★★★
Performed for a one-time only show at the Jade Lotus Theater ---------------------------------------------- With a signal given to begin, the leader of the empire's renowned Kabuki Cats stepped onto the stage. The dapper Nekoyama, known as Yisu ,was in full costume, taking the role of 'Narrator' in today's performance. Her small padded feet made no noise as she took her place in the center of the stage. Behind her, clustered off to the side of the back-stage, the remaining feline actors fidgeted excitedly in place in eager anticipation. Yisu bowed to the gathered crowd. "Welcome one and all, as we take you back to a time before the empire, and share with you the tale...of the fall of a villainous red dragon, defeated in combat by our beloved Empress Tsuiteru." The Narrator-Cat backed away from the center of the stage with a bow, taking her position off to the side to make room for feline actors to play their parts. A trio of Nekoyami scurried around the stage, dragging in a backdrop of what appeared to be the city of Helheim, though a much older version of it, elaborately painted ... with only a few paw-prints marring the edges of the surface. ---------------------------------------------- From behind the fake-wall, stepped a single Nekoyami, elaborately dressed in a tiny white kimono and simple, yet elegant white mask. A fist-full of silvery white feathers were tied to the tip of her tail, and from the sides of her head peeked a fake set of tufted white and gold ears. Clearly, this was Empress-Cat. "Behold, my children...this will be our new home. We shall settle among the people here, and share the blessings of our Fortunes." Empress-Cat waved her little arm around which was wrapped up with what appeared to be a group of paper-mache baby noodly dragons. A few of the cats off-stage thrummed the strings of a biwa to add a little bit of musical flair. Light and delicate at first, the music raised in intensity as the Empress-Cat slipped to the side of the stage and a second feline actor emerged from behind the wall.... All of the actors growled and hissed. The new actor was dressed all in red, with a terrifying mask bearing horns and strips of wavy orange paper dangling from the mouth of the mask, fluttering with the cat's every breath. Miniature paper-mache wings had been strapped to Nekoyami's back. Enter...Vaeros-Cat. A third Nekoyami emerged, this one with a mask of a painted face and fake elven ears strapped to her head, and as scantily clad as a feline could get. Behold... Aigie-Cat. "Look at this puny human kingdom." His voice was scratchy, yet whiny at the same time. "They should all bow to me." Vaeros-Cat puffed out his chest over-dramatically, while Aigie-Cat swooned at his feet with a purr. "Come, elf-wench, let us see what we can take from this land.." And with a dramatic flourish, Vaeros-Cat would scoop up Aigie-Cat, and carry her off-stage with an evil cackle, stomping over a small Helheim styled village that had been set-up in the midst of the villain's performance. ---------------------------------------------- The stage was rearranged once again, with a forest backdrop being pulled to the center. Empress-Cat and Vaeros-Cat took their places in the middle of the stage, staring at one another. "We are strangers to this land, these are not your people to subjugate!" The Empress-Cat raised her voice and her paw, shaking it angrily at Vaeros-Cat. "Your actions turn the people against us." "I will do whatever I please. They are humans. They should count themselves fortunate I have not burned their city to the ground like I did their little village. Serves them right for daring to settle so close to my lair." Vaeros-Cat struck a pose, with both hands on his hips and blowing hard through his mask to stir the orange strips of paper hanging from the mouth. "We may have been friends once, but I will not stand for this blatant disregard for their lives. You will regret this path you've chosen one day, Vaeros." The Empress-Cat growled and threw a handful of confetti into the air. "I will stop you." Vaeros-Cat leaned back and laughed, cackling so hard that his little feline ears vibrated. "You? Hah! Hahahahahahaha!" And he continued to laugh, over-dramatically, doubling over a few times as he laughed, and laughed, and laughed......all the way off the stage, leaving the Empress-Cat to stomp her little pawed feet and turn to stalk off in the opposite direction. ---------------------------------------------- The stage was re-set one more time, with a small replica of a single building in the center, and painted blocks of wood to represent more of the city all around the building. Sitting upon the center of the main building, was a small, glowing stature of a woman holding up a shimmering orb. Empress Cat and Vaeros-Cat emerged onto the stage again, standing before the building. "Get out of the way, Tsui. I will have the artifact." The Nekoyami dressed as Vaeros growled and puffed out air to make his fake-fire blow. Empress-Cat held her arms out to block his way. "Never! You would use this against the people, I will not allow it....you have done nothing but cause destruction and harm. No more." And thus...the two 'dragon-cats' entered into battle with Vaeros-Cat launching himself at Empress-Cat! Clearly...Vaeros attacked first! The pair went leaping around the stage, with Vaeros-Cat throwing wads of orange paper-balls at the Empress-Cat, and she deflecting or dodging. They weaved a path of destruction around the stage, knocking over the painted wooden buildings in a flurry or fake-roars, growls, and a few meows. Off to one side of the stage, barely seen behind a curtain...lurked Aigie-Cat, keeping a close eye on her 'dragon' ---------------------------------------------- A new cat made his way from the opposite end of the stage as the dragon-cats danced in an epic but destructive battle. This cat wore a fine looking looking mask with a little golden crown balanced on his head. "Oh, my poor city!" He'd cry out in a clear, over-the-top voice. The pair of battling 'dragon's froze in place, a clear pause to direct attention to King-Cat. "I...King Thrym Spurius...must end this before these dragons level the city. But...what is this.." He'd point at the building in the center, untouched by the chaos of battle. "The dragons will stop if neither can have what they want..." ---------------------------------------------- The fighting between Empress-Cat and Vaeros-Cat resumed in full furious force, leaping, twirling, and circling each other in a stylized display, throwing out bits of red paper now to show blood being spilled between them both. Mrow! Scratch! Hiss! Paper blood was flinging everywhere, even out in the crowd. The little wooden city was all destroyed except for the single building holding the artifact. King-Cat ran to the building as the dragon-cats danced their lethal dance, picking up the statue. With a yell, he threw the artifact down so that it smashed upon the ground and shattered into dozens of pieces. "For my people!" He'd yell with the loudest roar his little feline voice could give. Such a hero! A cat-sized roar sounded from behind King-Cat! The villainous Vaeros-Cat jumped upon the back of King-Cat. "You'll die for that! How dare you get in my way, foolish human king!" His paws reached into his costume and he threw out a massive spray of red confetti while biting at the noble King-Cat. The King...flopped to the ground. Dead. His poor little crown rolled across the stage. Empress-Cat rose from the ground, shaking off bits of red paper 'blood' and launched herself at Vaeros-Cat again! "What have you done!" She'd yell and unleash an over dramatic flurry of swipes. Another spray of paper-blood exploded around the stage! And Vaeros-Cat slumped to the ground, with a wounded Empress-Cat. Vaeros-Cat tossed out wads of red paper around him and made a groaning death noise. She crawled over to the fallen King-Cat. "I'm sorry..I could not get to you in time...but your death...was avenged.." The Empress-Cat stood, staggering in an over-exaggerated manner to indicate how injured she'd been during the fighting, dropping more tiny shreds of paper blood as she limped from the stage. Still hiding behind the curtain, Aigie-Cat emerged with a sneaky bit of crouch-walking and gazed around the crowd. "You have not seen the last of us..hek hek hek..." The elf-cat cackled while dragging the seemingly dead Vaeros-Cat towards the far end of the stage, into a cave-like tunnel made of layers of dark fabric. ---------------------------------------------- Yisu, the Narrator-Cat, took her place again at center-stage. "And so, you have it...the vile Vaeros, defeated by our beloved Empress...but too late to save the King's ancestor. Yet, his sacrifice prevented the evil red dragon from unleashing untold horrors upon his people." All of the Kabuki-Cats pranced their way onto the stage to bow to the crowd. The End. |
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