`•.¸¸.•´´¯`••Crouching Sushi, Hidden Noodle - A Kung Fu Tragic Love Story`•.¸¸.•´´¯`••
Original Play by Yisu (Not really Old Man Sushi wrote it.), sponsored by Old Man Sushi (Best Sushi in all the land.) Performed at the Summer Festival Introduction <Twelve cats raced onto the blood soaked pavement, each one carrying a large crate, and a few of them dragging a medium sized stage onto the blood soaked stone. Within minutes a stage was erected, curtains lined the three sides facing the bleachers, and there was a wooden lattice construct with ropes tangled throughout that sat hap hazardly on top of the stage. One lone nekoyami, Yisu, came forth from the curtain when done and stood off to the side, notes in hand to read from. She cleared her voice. > "Two stalls, both alike in dignity, In the fair Empire, where we lay our scene, From ancient grudge break to new fighting," <Narrator rifles through her notes, obviously missing a page. After finding an acceptable place to continue, she says in a louder, over dramatic tone to cover up her mistake.> "Do with their death bury their stall owners' strife. The fearful passage of their death-mark'd love, And the continuance of their emperess' rage, Which, but their children's end, nought could remove, Is now the twelve hours' traffic of our stage..." < A nekoyami peaks its head out and whispers something to her. Yisu throws up her paws.> "Thirty minute traffic to our stage.....you know what?! The End. On with the play." ------------------------------------------------- Act 1 Post 1 - Scuffle between two stalls The curtains pull back and the stage is set. Two stalls, with child like signs painted across the top stood center stage. One was called "Crouching Sushi" and the other "Hidden Noodle". The lighting implied it was dusk as the curtains were partially set to block the sun, dimming the stage. Three cats stood in front of each stall, with the Sushi stand housing a fourth female nekoyami, who kept a concerned expression on her face as she worried about the sushi gang. "I am Yan, of the Noodle shop. And I say touching the Empress gives 1,000 years of good fortune!," spoke the leader of the noodle shop gang, his 'gang' were dressed as stock boys. "And I am Ishi, not of the Sushi shop, but I like sushi! And I say the Empress is the Fortune of the Nekoyami, and you dare not sully her celestial body!" This cat was followed by two more stockboys, though they carried signs emoting that they smelled like fish. One of the Noodle gang spoke up from behind Yan, "Do you bite your paw at us, sir?!" Ishi spoke up, "I do bite my paw at you, sir." The Noodle gang rose up, hoisted on ropes, paws spread wide, and legs crooked to kick, but Yan held up his paws out to his sides, holding them back. "We shall not disrupt the small peace of our two stalls. Make haste with your insult....for now." His tone ended ominous, and he and his gang fled the scene. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Post 2 - Romeo and Juliet Meet **The Narrator clears her throat and simply said, "Later that evening."** Yan walks up to the noodle stall, shoulders slumped. He seems discouraged, not angry from the previous meeting. He sits on a small stool that he usually sits on during business hours when it is slow. He sighs and raises his head up to the sky forlornly, "Why must noodle and sushi fight?! Why must they put our Fortune on a pedastal, and not realize she was brought to our realm to bless us with her heavenly body." Out of the shadows the female cat comes out, hearing his words, her face showed that she believed in his words. "Yan-san, I believe what you say." she almost whispers this, her whole demeanor overly feminine and subservient. Yan's face lights up. They had never spoken. She was an ocean away as they both managed their stalls, just a few feet a part. He whispers, almost to himself, “O, she doth teach the stone lanterns to burn bright.” He stands up and stand a meter away from her. "I am Zizi, good pilgrim." As she blushed, why she called him pilgrim, no one knew. "I know your name. And I have admired you from a far. May this pilgrim pray at the shrine of your lips? May I receive a blessing only the holy Empress and you may bestow? Thus from my lips, by thine, my sin is purged." Yan steps forward, and gives her a rough tongued lick on her muzzle, then darts away. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Act 2 Post 3 - Romeo and Juliet sniff catnip together **The Narrator stands up from her seated position, and says half heartedly after taking a few shots of sake, her once twelve hour play ruined, "Two days later, that night."** Zizi, climbs up upon the Sushi stall's roof. Breathless, she looks to a low hanging moon with some wooden stars, dangling from a rope. She reaches out with a paw forlornly and says, "O Yan, Yan, wherefore art thou Yan? Deny thy stall and refuse the old man; Or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love and I’ll no longer be of the sushi stand.” From the shadows of the noodle stall, Yan steps out and admires his fair intended. Zizi continues into the night, "‘Tis but thy stall that is my enemy: Thou art thyself, though not of the Noodle stand. What’s a noodle? It is nor hand nor foot; Nor arm nor face nor any other part belonging to a nekoyami.". Yan steps forward further and speaks from his heart, "I take thee at thy word. Call me but sushi, and I’ll be new baptized. Henceforth I never will be Yan." Zizi started at his voice, but he did not hesitate as he climbed the side of the stall, nimble as his kind tended to be. Staring off into the wooden moon, Yan pulls out a small canister and opens it, "Let us share in this catnip. Let us express our love for one another." At that, both dip a paw and sniff the 'nip. They then stared longly into each other's eyes and started to yowl all through and into the night. The curtain closed to setup for the next part. -------------------------------- Post 4 - Fight between both stalls **The Narrator grimaces, as her dialog was butchered to make for a thirty minute play. She didn't even bother to stand up, and or even wait until she was done with her sake before saying, "The very next day."** The curtain reopens and shows both gangs in front of their respective stalls. They are in their own huddle, the leader between their own pair of stockboys. Yan's group is lit from above by a lantern hanging precariously by a rope. "I say our gang's name should be the Montamews!" said one of the sushi stock cats. "No no, it should be the Jets," Said the other. Yan cut them both off, "We don't need a name. We are the Hidden Noodle! Let us end this!" --------- Their light dimmed, and a lantern lit above Ishi's gang. -------- One of the stock cats said, "I want our name to be the Catpulets." The other two just looked at him. "I say we call ourself the Sharks....cause we have teef!" exclaimed the other one. Ishi shook his head solemnly, "Enough fighting about names. This glorious stall's owner, the Old Man, named us when he named his shop Crouching Sushi. May the fortunes bless him."" As with all philosophical debates, things have degraded into violence between the two gangs. They didn't exchange words. One believed in Luck, the other, a Fortune. This fight will determine who spoke true. Both gangs leap into the air with ropes from the rig above, the hanging lanterns bouncing and shaking dangerously as the entire top of the stage shook from the strain of six nekoyami swinging. To their credit, they looked graceful, though their aim was off, as kicks and flying punches swung wide from their target. One stock cat, a noodle stock cat just twirled in place on his rope. Finally it all ended, when Yan scooped up a potted plant and crashed it into the sushi stall, making it crumble into a heap. All six cats yelped, so did the others off stage that were handling the ropes, and the 6 came crashing to the stage. Both pairs of stock cats recovered and scooted their leaders off in opposite directions. One of the sushi cats yelled from offstage, "A plague o’ both your stalls!" ----------------------------------------- Act 3 Post 5 - Refusal to be torn a part. The curtains draw around to the sides so that there is only an opening in the front. Both Yan and Zizi come walking from on stage out of the entrance, front and center to the crowd. Each is carrying a package. They kneel on the ground and stare into one another. Zizi speaks first, "My beloved Yan. You will be exiled for the destruction of the Old Man's stall. The Empress is benevolent, but she also is wrathful for those that disturb her peace and serenity." The tiny female nekoyami reached her paw into the air and over dramatically yowled in sorrow. She continues, "I can not live knowing we must be apart." Yan interrupts her with a paw of his on her muzzle, "Shhhhh, I too can't live without you." He opens up his package, and old moldy noodles lay in the pouch, "I brought this, so that we may be together in the heavens, if not on the earth." She in turn opened her sushi, and the smell of week old rotted fish wafted to the play's spectators. "I have brought my Master's old left over sushi, that I tucked away for such occasion. Take what I give, and I shall take what you give. We shall reunite in the Heavens." Both nekoyami took the other's package. Yan made a genuine face of disgust, and he scooped an old pile of mush sushi and he ate it. Quickly. And just as quickly, he stood up, ran back to the stage, a small crash, and a wretching sound came from the back. Moments later, he came stumbling out. "O true master of the sushi. Thy drugs are quick. Thus with a kiss, I die." He goes to lick her one last time, but she smells the rotten fish and barfs, and shy's away. Yan falls to the ground dead. Zizi, takes the package of noodles, gags, and then says, "O happy noodle, This is thy sheath: there rot further, and let me die." She then ate the noodle. She then sprinted on stage and repeated the process as Yan before. Coming back to the front, she wiped her mouth, then fell over dead. Solemnly, a nekoyami comes from the curtained stage and stands over the two dead nekoyami. She is dressed gaudily, and she was walking on stilts. "I am she who was once Empress, Fortune of Luck and nekoyami. The tragedy today, is not this love affair that produced chaos and destruction in its wake, but that both gangs were right. I should be venerated as a fortune, but I have come to this mortal realm to bestow my blessing on the worthy, my beloved nekoyami." At that, the rest of the cast, and the back stage, twelve in total, came to the front, and all the nekoyami bowed. Yisu, frustrated that she had to cut a twelve hour play down to thirty minutes was sprawled out drunk at the corner of the stage. (("Player run group" operating under the oversight of the Basilica within Origins of Sin. The following is player created and may not be based on canon lore. When there are conflicts, the lore posted on the website is correct. If you are interested in joining the Basilica in the Order of Mikhail, please reach out to ralath.resident or fevren.resident))
The Basilica of Sincadere has the divine task of guiding and educating the humans of the realm with the knowledge of the Four Gods that created Sincadere. Within the Basilica are four Orders, each devoted to one of the Gods. Today we take a closer look at the Order of Mikhail, currently led by the honourable Archpaladin Ralathos. Members of the Order of Mikhail are called Paladins, they are all trained in combat and how to defend themselves. However they are not simply warriors, they are expected to study the law, tactics and strategy. As well as diplomacy. They are considered to be dispute settles, mediators and problem solvers for the Basilica in regards to matters of conflict. Be it by the blade or by words, given their adherence to honourable behavior that Mikhail demands, they are trusted to be impartial in matters and judge on the cause of the conflict and decisions. Paladins are known for their dislike of cowards and those who are "dishonourable", as well as a tendency toward sharp military strategy and a fierceness in battle. They believe it is their duty to defend the faithful and redeem the corrupt with an honourable death. When acting as judges, they are known to be strict and ruthless. Often putting duty, honour and faith above personal feelings or circumstances. When it comes to serious issues, they will often favor trial by combat as a chance for an honourable death and for those involved to show their bravery. `•.¸¸.•´´¯`•.¸¸.•´´¯A Day in the Life of the Cabbage of Obskure Arts`•.¸¸.•´´¯`•.¸¸.•´´¯
Performed by the Kabuki-Cats at the Bound Elf for a CCOA End of Terms Ceremony ----------------------------- The stage was set, and all of the much beloved and totally world-famous Kabuki-Cats were in place. A lone cat stepped up to the edge of the stage, looking suspiciously like the infamous Headmistress of the College. Yisu, or Aigie-Cat, as she would be known, bowed to the waiting crowd. "Welcome Caballans! To the first and only performance of .... A Day in the Life of Cabbage Collage of Obskure Arts!" Had the cat just entirely fucked up the name of the school, or was it on purpose? Well, the Kabuki-Cats weren't exactly known for their accuracy or true to history re-tellings of events! She waved a paw and the various props needed for the play were brought down from the stairs above by a few of the other Nekoyami, wobbling awkwardly carrying screens far to set up a tiny classroom. "Now, we have only seen the Collage once, but I am certain this will be a true and accurate representation of a typical day of making arts!" Dear lord, did the cats really think the college was some strange art school? The actors began to take their place, all but Aigie-Cat gathering behind the single student desk. A few of the Student-Cats snickered and started pushing each other around, throwing rolled up paper balls and generally being disruptive. Then in walked the feline Headmistress, decked out in a slinky, revealing, black and red dress, multiple scrolls tucked under one arm, a wand in her other hand....and a MASSIVE witchy hat on her fuzzy head. And behold! The ridiculous cat had even sewn a red plushie Vaeros to the brim of her hat. Hell, she even her own copy of Aigie's glasses perched on her nose. As soon as she entered the scene, the Student-Cats all shut up at once, hunkered down a little, and started to cower in mock fear. Aigie-Cat walked to her own desk, head held high and proud, seeming to ignore the clearly terrified students waiting their lesson. With a tap tap tap, she rapped her wand on the edge of her desk. "Roll-call..." Her head turned, gaze sweeping over the Student-Cats. "Lewd-Demon!" One of the Student-Cats, dressed up in tight fitting leather with paper mache wings strapped to her back and so much silk stuffed into the front of her tight black dress, the poor cat looked to have bigger tits than even Yisu! "Present, Mistress!" The Lewd Demon-Cat bounced as she announced herself, fake stuffed boobs wobbling. Aigie-Cat nodded and looked to the next. "Emo Efl!" The next cat had an oversized white wig and dark ears strapped to the sides of his head, and the grumpiest looking face mask the world had ever seen. "Here... Mistress." The feline Headmistress squinted at the Emo-Elf Cat before continuing. "Fake Noodle!" And yet another Nekoyami scooped up the red snake prop on the stool, holding it high over his head and went. "Hissssssssssss." Satisfied, Aigie-Cat checked off an imaginary list. "Silly Imp..." Silence. "Silly Imp!" She smacked her hand on the desk. A few tense moments later a fourth Nekoyami ran onto the stage, dressed in red with a floppy spaded tail made of silk streaming behind her and looking fucking panicked. Aigie-Cat tsked. "This is your last tardy. You will be refilling the paint for today's class. Today's lesson is in the beauty of red." The Silly Imp-Cat dropped to her knees then started crawling backwards, screeeching and wailing, as the other student-cats swarmed around her, holding their wands...which might have looked more like paintbrushes...like they were daggers, and began to viciously 'stab' the Silly Imp-Cat. The Imp-Cat threw out crimson paper streamers all over the place and flopped dramatically to the ground to be pulled off stage. "Bring in the rest of the supplies!" A damn goat was herded onto the stage with a little pack strapped to it, overburdened with books, scrolls, quills, jars of paint, and tiny dark cat plushie tied around the top of her head. Was this..Meira? Aigie-Cat gave the goat a small pat on the head while the Student-Cats resumed their place around their own desk. The feline Headmistress stretched out one of the scrolls on her desk. "Today, we learn... the Flick and Swish." There was a pause, and the cat frowned, looking confused..and panicked for a moment as if she'd made a mistake, or forgotten a line. "Wrong scroll." Tsking, the Aigie-Cat bopped the Meira-Goat on the nose, clearly her assistant had given her the wrong one and gave her that scroll to chew on and pulled out the right one! "To the board with your brushes and paint!" Fuck. They did think it was some evil art school. The Student-Cats scurried to the board with a clamor of noise and commotion while the kitty Headmistress paced back and forth behind them. "Today, you will show me how well you have learned to draw from an example and add your own flair. How to really take something and make it your own." The cats all nodded and mumbled under their breaths, looking a little extra jumpy each time Aigie-Cat got too close to one or the other. She handed each of them a small parchment, and knowing the Nekoyami...it was probably something outlandishly ridiculous. With a critical eye she studied the various Student-Cats as they assaulted the board with the red 'paint' collected from the recently departed Silly Imp-Cat. "That line is too thick, Fail!" Aigie-Cat snapped from behind the Emo Elf-Cat and jabbed her wand into his back, just between his side and arm. The Emo-Elf Cat screamed and crumpled to the ground. "Maybe you can pass in the next life." She muttered, the cat portraying Aigie seeming to have far too much fun with the role as she stepped behind the Lewd Demon-Cat. "You drew a picture of a big red dick? Did you bang Spike before class?! This is not what I asked for! Fail!" And down another student-cat fell! The remaining student was shaking. "Fake Noodle, you are my only hope." The Fake-Noodle Cat took a step back, looking ready to bolt at the slightest hint of displeasure from the much feared Headmistress. Aigie-Cat squinted at the drawing, which...now that the Fake Noodle Cat was out of the way, clearly looked more like a hex symbol. Well, the cats had picked up a number of supplies from the College and had done a lot of looking around. Thankfully, they hadn't gotten into anything dangerous! But they soooo had no idea what had been drawn. "Its not done yet, Mistress!" Aigie-Cat raised her wand as if about to stab the last student, but paused...letting the moment linger in exagerrated slow motion as the Fake Noodle-Cat painted the final line of the hex. "My Obskure Art!" The symbol glowed red for a moment, causing both of the Nekoyami to step back. Aigie-Cat jumped up and down excitedly, having no fucking clue what they'd just done. "Pass! Pass!" The hex...was simply a wave of lust that pulsed outwards...then faded from the board. "See, it is so obscure it vanishes. Brilliant! You have the makings of a true artist!" She stepped over the fallen bodies of the 'dead' students and approached the edge of the stage again. "...and that, is the Day in the Life of Cabbage Collage of Obskure Arts" The fallen actors rolled up to their feet to join the Aigie-Cat in a bow to the crowd. ★★★★Tale of the Floating Orc Lotus Blossom★★★★
Performed at the Jade Lotus Theater Cast: Rukbah - Orc-Cat Accotza - Lizard-Cat Sylvise - Noodle-Cat Dyskord - Blue Horny Half-Oni - Cat Ksenia - Vampiress - Cat Alaric -- Black Oni with Two Wings (demon) - Cat Imp-ress - Hero of the Story Yisu coughed to clear her throat. "Behold...the Tale of the Floating Orc Lotus Blossom. Our cast tonight is Rubkbah, the Orc-Cat" She waved a tiny paw to the Nekoyami dressed in green, black, and wearing a fearsome orc mask. "Accotza, the Lizard-Cat..." Again Yisu waved to another cat, this one with a massive lizard head over his own, eyes blinking out of sync. "...and Sylvise, the Noodle-Cat..." This lady Nekoyami was dressed in white, with a noodly tail and antlers. "Ksenia, the Vampire-Cat.." Oh this poor cat had a creepy vampire mask. "...and Alaric, the demon-cat" Which was the black cat with black wings and a demon mask. All of the cats waved their paws....ready to begin and scurried off to take their starting places! 1. Intro A handful of Nekoyami were tuning their instruments. They were set off to the side of the stage. Another handful was placing props on the stage. The scene appeared to be a more simplified representation of the Floating Lotus sake house. A few barrels, some cushioned tables, and panels painted to look like the rock cavern walls of the hot springs. Nothing was more evident than a very simple drawing of the Floating Lotus sign that was placed at the entrance of the stage, with a large kanji for 'SAKE!' placed all around the flower. There was even a small wooden tub, with the kanji for 'hot springs' labeled on it, placed off to the side. Once the preparations were complete, the Nekoyami, who were preparing the stage, all but vanished. Moments later, five Nekoyami made their way to the stage. Two stood on either side of the stage entrance, they were wearing servant's garbs, and held up signs with the kanji for 'Quiet' on them, and showed the signs to the crowd. The other three took up their positions around a large drinking table on one side of it. One looked to be painted blue with a paper-mache wing on his back. He had a small oni mask over his face, grotesque and evil looking. Two female Nekoyami sat to either side of him. One had paper-mache gremlin ears and a clothe...what looked to appear like a dragon's tail. She was wearing a red dress. The last had a white eye mask, sinister in appearance with narrow slits for eyes, and two tiny little fangs, which peaked out from her mouth. The three sat and pretended to have a silent conversation. One of the servant Nekoyami came up to their table with three sake glasses. As one, all three yelled 'Oppai!', instead of the traditional 'Kanpai!'. The Noodle Nekoyami of the three blushed, one of her overly large breast gourds falling lopsided in response. 2. Act 1 Part 1 Gourd boob corrected, all three drank happily. Once thirst sated, they mimicked conversation again. This time the blue oni cat was boldly staring at the noodle cat's now fixed boob. She seemed to ignore his attention looking hungrily at the wooden bath labled 'hot springs'. All the while, the vampire kitty too was staring at the noodle cat's boobs, and she made biting motions with her mouth. This too went unobserved. While the three played out their parts at the table, two more Nekoyami made their way from the crowd. One was painted green, and was on what appeared to be small stilts to make him bigger than the other Nekoyami. The other continually flicked his tongue out like a snake, and had a clothe tail as well, this one not as fancy as the noodle cat's. They made their way to the isle, and then up the steps to the stage. One final Nekoyami stood up on a dais, just off to the side of the stage. It had tiny spectacles, and it rolled out a scroll. Soft light music started playing with the band. She cleared her throat and spoke in a clear voice, "This bright and sunny day, blessed by she who sits on the High Seat of Heaven, the Empress, was a day like any other. Our village was quiet, and the blessings of the kami were upon us. But who do we spy? Two sinister men, making their way to the sake house. But who will feel retribution this day? The citizen's of the Empire, or those who seek to abuse our riches?" From behind the stage a large sheet of flimsy metal, made just for the occasion, warbled and sounded like thunder in the distance. 3. Act 1 Part 2 The green, slightly larger, Nekoyami bellowed at the top of his lungs. He ended up sounding like a mouse trying to roar. "I am RUKE-BRAH! I am a fierce orc! And someone named Imp Ress has sent me and will pay for all my sake!" The lizard cat nodded, as if this all sounded like it was a fact, and a settled matter. At this declaration, the other three Nekoyami, already seated, looked at him with confusion. And so did the servant cats....the band cats....even the Narrative cat. Those more observant would even see the special fx cats from behind the theater, peek out from the side and look at the orc kitty in confusion. And as if rehearsed (which it was), all those that looked confused, shrugged and continued on as if what he said was perfectly natural and accepted. The orc kitty spoke again, his voice 'booming', "All drinks free, all on Imp Ress!" The other four Nekoyami at the table cheered. The serving cats shrugged and started bringing out bottles of sake. The blue Nekoyami started pulling wine skin after wine skin from under the table and piled them on top. He didn't stop until half the table was covered in wine skins. At the end, he wiped sweat off his brow, leaving a non-blue streak across his forehead. He pointed at one of the serving cats and then to the wine skins, the servant Nekoyami sighed deeply and started dragging one after the other to the tap. All five Nekoyami raised sake bottles and shouted 'Oppai!' and drank deep of their bottles. Again, the noodle cat's OTHER breast had fallen lopsided. She once again blushed and corrected her boob gourds. The blue and vampire Nekoyami, and this time the orc and lizard cat joined in, stared at her now fixed breasts, and all four licked their lips in unison. 4. Act 2 Part 1 The Narrator kitty cleared her throat and spoke, "All was merry in the Floating Lotus Sake House. Even the two sinister beings, un...unbe...unbeknown to the rest of the Sake House, both the Orc and the Lizard man had nef...ne....nefarious plans." It was clear that the poor Nekoyami hadn't written the screenplay, nor did she rehearse it. "They were in fact, using the esteemed Empresses name in vain. Horribly miss speaking it, and causing the Realms coffers to go barren! But what they didn't know is that this wasn't any ordinary sake house. They would soon learn their folly..." Again the thin sheet of metal warbled thunder from behind the Theater. The five Nekoyami continued to drink sake. That is, until the orc started floating, and the lizard man froze in place, then started pawing at invisible intruders. "HELP ME! HELP ME! I'm a crybaby flying orc! HELP ME!", cried the green cat, who had lost his stilts as a rope hoisted him up into the air a meter above the floor. The other end of the rope had three special fx cats holding on for dear life. One held a parchment in its paws, reading it and directing the other two, while still helping with one paw. The lizard kitty swiped left, then swiped right, getting into the invisible fight, and playing up to the crowd, taking center stage. He managed a cartwheel, and then tuck and rolling, then finally the worm, across the ground, before standing up and play fighting with his invisible opponent again. The Narrator Nekoyami cleared his throat, and the lizard kitty blushed, then fought his invisible opponent off to the side in a more subdued manner. The other three Nekoyami laughed at the two who had gotten the 'special' sake. Illustrated by the noodle cat holding up a sign with the kanji for 'special sake' and an arrow pointing at the two. The Orc kitty swung toward the vampire cat and grabbed onto her, lifting her up in the air with them. Parsed amongst the crowd watching the play, various planted Nekoyami gasped in worry and surprise, prompting the audience to do so too. The noodle cat picked up a seat cushion and was chasing the swinging pair under them, hoping to catch them as they fell. The blue oni cat looked like he was going to do something, but shrugged, and continued drinking quite noisily. All the while, the orc cat wailed and cried, and buried his face in vampire kitty's 'cleavage'. 5. Act 2 Part 2 An eighth Nekoyami approached through the audience (including the two servant cats on stage). He seemed jovial in step, but he too wore an oni mask, but this one was black, and he had TWO paper-mache wings on his back. He walked in and immediately pointed and laughed, "Stupid green orc, you drink what you do not know! Stupid Lizard man, you fight nothing." Both ignored him. The new cat suddenly declared, "But I have a cure!" That caught everyone's attention on the stage. Everyone but the orc and lizard kitty. One was preoccupied with groping/crying into the vampire cat, the other saw nothing but invisible foes. The Lizardman cat suddenly turned to the noodle kitty, who was still trying to remain under the swinging pair with a pillow, "Howwww daaare you doooo thissssssss to usssssssssssssss!" He accused her with a thick snake like lisp. The Noodle kitty looked so frightened, both her boob gourds dropped an inch out of their harness as she shirked away behind the black oni kitty. In not so typical oni fashion, the black oni kitty, who had declared his cure (which was now all but forgotten), reached behind the bar and put on a shiny knight's helmet on his head. "I shall defend your oppai boobs, fair noodle," the black oni declared as he and the lizard cat went to the ground rolling around over one another in a tussle. The green orc Nekoyami, holding and groping the vampire Nekoyami, was suddenly cinched up to the ceiling by the rope. They let out a very cat like yowl in surprise. It was obviously unscripted. The Narrative kitty just shook her head at the actor. The noodle kitty ran to the side of the stage and picked up a bamboo pool, "Here grab onto this! I will save you!" She said it with such a crystalline voice. The blue oni cat, who was now laying amongst filled wine skins, had fallen asleep. He abruptly awoke and shouted, "Oppai!" and drank another shot of sake. This time, both boob gourds fell out of the noodle Nekoyami's kimono, rolling a short ways toward the back of the stage. 6. Act 3 part 1 The Narrator Nekoyami cleared her throat, and spoke again, "The Highest and most Majestic Empress knows all that transpires in her realm. Her very touch brings joy and fortune to those that serve her. Because of her most benevolent wisdom, the mighty celestial dragon descended from her palace on high, to take care of these two nefarious visitors." At this announcement, yet another Nekoyami came forward from the back of the audience. She was on stilts taller than even the green orcs, causing her to be as tall as any short human, yet still never as tall as the Empress herself. The Nekoyami wouldn't dare. She was dressed in fine silk robes, and there was a second cat beside her, in a black body suit, throwing sakura petals around her, mimicking the celestial aura of the Empress. She spoke in a soft but musical voice, "I am the most beloved Empress. And I declare all Gaijin (foreigners) are bad, and that you use my most worshiped of names in vain to get free booze." The two on the stage floor continued their scuffle, ignoring the mighty Empress. The flying orc and vampire kitties were trying to grab the bamboo pool the noodle cat was trying to save them with. The Empress stamped her foot and moved forward to the stairs of the stage. Stairs that looked lethal to her with the stilts she wore. She stopped at the foot fo the stairs, and repeated herself, this time her voice wasn't as musical as it was before. Her voice brought all the Nekoyami on stage to her attention. The vampire kitty wiggled one last time in the orc cat's grasp and fell! Luckily, she was Nekoyami, and landed on her feet, but she still glared up at the green kitty. The two fighting on the ground, picked themselves apart and bowed to her. Even the servant cats bowed in turn. That was more like it. The Empress cat was pleased. 7. Act 3 Part 2 "Imp Ress!" Both the green orc and lizard Nekoyami exclaimed at the same time, fear showing on their faces. The Orc saying it through weeping tears, and the lizard with an angry growl. All Nekoyami on stage, in the band, in the special fx crew, and the Narrator looked at one another said "Ahhhhh" simultaneously. Imp Ress was the name of the Empress, which no Nekoyami truly knew. But now they did, and she would forever be named so amongst their kind in praise and humility. The Empress kitty held her self imperiously before the stage, a fan in her hand and pointing at the two criminals, as the others knelt and bowed before her majesty. "For your crimes, you shall be banished from my land, and forever float..and forever fight invisible enemies. Now begone, before you bring dishonor to me and my people again!" As if on cue, the green orc gulped and started swinging wildly around and around high above the stage at the direction of the special fx cats holding his rope. He spun faster and faster and faster and at a certain point they just let go of the rope. His momentum saw him flung out of the stage, over the Empress Nekoyami and audiences' heads and well over the sushi shop directly behind them. A loud splash occurred, and a few silent moments later, a wet green oni masked Nekoyami appeared with a hand raised over his head to show he was alright. During the spectacle, the lizard kitty fought his invisible foes till he was off stage. The planted Nekoyami around the audience cheered loudly, prompting the audience to do so as well. 8. Conclusion/Epilogue All Nekoyami, joined by the green orc and the lizardman kitties, took a bow before the audience. The band did one last fanfare and the Narrator Nekoyami spoke. "And thus concludes the Tale of the Floating Orc Lotus Blossom. Let the lesson be learned, and the morales of the story be discovered. For in them is the honor of our esteemed most fluffiest of Empress. May she live forever. The End." The Nekoyami, bowed once again, this time joined by the Noodle kitty that finally had recovered her boob gourds. All the Nekoyami shouted one last time, "Oppai!!" In our third of a series of celebrity interviews, Snetch Junior, travels to the Jade Lotus Empire to interview their new Empress who obtained her position when she murdered the last Empress. In order to ensure journalistic integrity, we immortalized the exchange in the form of descriptive writing. I took an assistant with me to the interview, though we both barely made it out alive. As you will see in this interview, Koharu, Empress of the Jade Lotus Empire, is not just a murderer but also a MONEY GRUBBING DIRT BAG! She has no feelings for anyone other than herself. Despicable! . . . Snetch Junior brushed at the fine tunic, still stained in his father's blood from the interview with the Hound, and looked across the way at Koharu. She sure was sparkly. Beside him stood his assistant, formerly his father's assistant. "So gracious of you to permit my presence, Empress... your predecessor was not so kind. Are you aware that she banned ALL greenskins from the Jade Lotus Empire? Which is silly, because Jade is green, and we're green, so you'd think she'd welcome us with open... er, claws? What do noodle dragons have anyway?" he peered at her hands and squinted as if expecting her to sprout claws and attack him.
Koharu looks over with a bit of a confused glance at the goblin. But before she says anything in return she hears his words out fully. At his question she would show her hands. They did not have claws but they certainly had long, sharp nails. She then speaks "Most dragons have claws, but most dragons also have multiple forms. This is simply my human form, so no claws. As for the green skins? I figure each person should warrant their own banning. So, How can i help you dear?" Snetch Junior was not used to being treated kindly so he was immediately suspicious of the Empress and her soft manner and kind words. He hesitated and then came out with some hard hitting journalism, "no one has seen Tsuiteru since you took over," that wasn't entirely true, but SNETCH hadn't seen her so that was close enough. "IS IT TRUE... that you MURDERED HER... in ritual combat, thus cementing your place as Empress of the Jade Lotus Empire?!" He leaned forward in his chair and didn't give her a chance to respond before shouting again, spittle flying in her direction, "TELL THE TRUTH! I CAN HANDLE THE TRUTH!" Koharu stares at the goblin before her that came off with such a dramatic question.. her stare was blank, but only lasted until she busted into laughter! she shakes her head softly and collects herself before saying "Oh my, No no. I love my grandmother. She has been seen many times! In fact it was she herself that placed the crown upon my head in a large gathering. She even prepared a feast for all the attendants. Either way, she is quite well, and living a peaceful life on vacation. So many years dealing with so many people every day and all. She earned her peace." Snetch Junior was standing on the little table between them at this point, his large (and bare) feet knocking aside the tiny teacups. "VACATION?! is THAT what the kids are calling it these days? You just ADMITTED to being a shapeshifter. All you dragons are! How do we know, how do we REALLY KNOW, that it was the former Empress placing the crown on your head?! I bet she 'earned her peace'... her ETERNAL PEACE!" He jabbed a finger in her direction, "TELL THE TRUTH!" Koharu laughed a little more, seeming unphased by his out burst. Instead she simply shakes her head and says "Because all of the empire was there to witness it. And has seen her multiple times since. Now, i said that dragons can change form, but that does not mean we can take just any form. You see most of us are restricted to just two. A single human form, and a single dragon form. But..." she leans forward a little and narrows her eyes, speaking a little softer "How do i know you are really you.. Do you know if you are really you?" Snetch's assistant gasped as Koharu's insinuation and she looked to Sentch Junior suspiciously. Snetch Junior, to his credit, managed to only freeze while he thought. And thought. Slowly he stepped off the low table and resumed his seat. "What if... what if I'm not really a Snetch?" he asked, almost of himself and not really of Koharu. "What if... I never find out who is a good boy?" He begins to sob, "what if I stop believing and then I... I just fade away!?" He crawled across the table and tried to grab Koharu's garments, clinging to her if possible and sobbing filthy goblin tears on her pretty silk outfit, "don't forget me, Empress, don't let me fade away into oblivion!" Clearly she'd hit a nerve. Koharu sits in shock for a moment, her arms half up, and out to her sides as she blinks a few times. She frowns softly, then wraps her arms around him and says "Relax, don't worry my dear, i am sure you are fine. Besides, i am sure lots of people remember you! You seem memorable enough to me, yeah?" but she then looked to the other goblin and mouths without words "What is his name?" The assistant mouths back to Koharu, "Snetch." But with how goblins mouths are shaped that could be Snitch, Snatch, Wretch... you get the idea. Meanwhile, in Koharu's arms, Snetch soaks up the affection like someone starved of attention. After a moment he wipes his runny nose with the back of his arm, making a loud SNORK sound in the process. "How come you're so nice, Empress?" so much for hard hitting journalism. Koharu searches her robes for a moment before pulling a piece of cloth out and gently wiping the goblins face with it, then offering it to him "Here, you can keep this my dear. I am so nice because it is just who I am. My citizens are my family. My walls are my pride. All the gold and gems in the world have no value if there is not a soul to share them with." But at this point, even the goblin should be able to tell that Koharu was not treating him differently than anyone else. Not like some filthy goblin. But as a person. Either way, she adds "The Kami, which you call Gods, have blessed me to rule this land. I was chosen because of where my heart lay. For they knew i should love these people, and this land, as if it came from my own body" Snetch sniffled again and blew his nose loudly in the offered bit of cloth before making it disappear into his tunic. At one of Koharu's comments, Snetch scoffed and pulled away, "you can't honestly expect me to believe that gold and gems lose their value if there's no one to share them with. I NEVER share my treasure and it's still the most valuable--" he stopped abruptly and narrowed his eyes, "waaait... I get it now. This is... a TRAP!" He back flipped away from her, staggering a bit on the landing, "assistant! RUN! She's after our WEALTH!" As he bolted for the door he shrieked over his shoulder, "GO FUCK YOURSELF, GOLD-DIGGER! YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME!!" Koharu rolls her eyes with a laughter, the just.. resumes looking at her ledger, as they leave she only says one thing, and not even loudly. She was not bothered to defend herself from the accusation.. "I have gold and silver mines my dear. i do not want yours also. B safe, Go with the Kami" As reported by GGN Goblin Gossip Network The Goblin Gossip Network continues to bring you hard hitting journalism despite the great peril to our reporters. Tonight we hear from Snetch Junior, reporting for our recently deceased... nay, MURDERED... and most beloved, Snetch the Goblin. In order to ensure journalistic integrity, we immortalized the exchange in the form of descriptive writing. Snetch's assistant survived the interview by keeping her wits about her. As you will see, in our exchange, the Crimelord of Caballa admitted to being dumped by the commander of the Sentries and then she ATE our reporter! GGN has not reached out to Jeriah for a comment. . . . The goblin arrived with an assistant. He wore a fancy medieval suit that was well worn and very stained. His hair was slicked back and thick with grease. The assistant, also a goblin, wore a skirt and carried a scroll and magically refilling quill. Once they were settled and greetings had been dispensed, Snetch the Goblin opened up with the first of many hard hitting questions. "So, tell me Eclipse... can I call you Eclipse? Mz Hound?" He obviously checked her out when he suggested that last name, "tell me... I've heard from VERY reliable sources, that your latest boy toy..." he stopped as the assistant tugged on his sleeve and whispered in his ear. "What?" he whispered back, "really?" She nodded severely and he cleared his throat. "Very well, Mz Hound... what... is your favourite colour?"
Eclipse had been waiting for this interview. She decided to wear a very low cut red dress to show all of those luscious curves she was known for. When the gobo began the first question, she leaned over the desk with a brow arched. But once he had corrected himself, she licked those lips of hers. "Red....the color of blood....of course." She grinned flashing those blood stained teeth. Her eerie mismatched hues looked towards the assistant with her grin still very apparent. "And who is your VERY reliable source?" She asked as her razor sharp claws began to tick against the top of her desk. Snetch was easily swayed by the low cut dress and those luscious curves, he literally licked his lips while staring. "Source? huh?" he asked, still distracted. When he looked up, seeming to snap out of it, he answered, "oh, can't be giving up my sources, that wouldn't do!" Clearing his throat he continued, maybe taking one more peek at Eclipse's cleavage, "now, tell us... Mz Hound... is it true you own the Stoned Dragon Sex Den? I heard, from reliable sources mind you, that you are the highest paid staff person there! Tell me, just how much does it cost to get one's willy wet by the infamous Hound?" He barreled through the question despite his assistant's attempts to stop him. Eclipse would still be leaning over the desk when the gobo had asked her the question. She would move closer to the goblin that spoke. "I do own the Den, and I make no profit from it aside from those who pay me directly for drugs." Those sharp claws moved to the edge of the table right infront of the gobo so he could see just how sharp they were. "And sorry love.... I'm not on the menu. And if I were, you wouldn't be able to afford me." She winked that red eye that seemed to be glowing now. Snetch swallowed heavily at the sight of those claws. Whether he was brave, or just plain stupid, it was hard to say but he looked her in the eye and blurted his next question. "Hound may be off the menu in more ways than one, or so I heard. Didn't you just get dumped by the commander of the Sentries? Rough luck.. how are you handling that?" Eclipse opened her eyes wide and would immediately clutch that hand around his throat. Just snapping it like a snakebite towards him until those claws were digging into his trachea. "Nobody got dumped. We parted ways......" And with that she would wretch his body up and over the table towards her and bite into his face. One canine hooking into his eyeball and when her mouth latched down and hand moved backwards, his eye was stuck on that tooth of hers. "Much like your eye has." She looked to the assistant. "Did you get everything you needed? I think it is time for dinner." Snetch should have seen it coming. But he didn't. He barely had a moment to let out a gasp before he was dead. The assistant inhaled sharply and immediately bolted. She didn't even hesitate long enough to ensure Snetch was dead. Eclipse watched the assistant go and chuckled as she popped that eye off her tooth and pointed at her. "I'll be keeping an eye on you....if I don't like what you report...your death will be much slower." The Medical & Mental Benefits of Faith
by Dr. Frederic Desespoir. No matter which deity one prays to, though there are more benefits to praying to the Four than to a false idol, faith and believe can have a positive overall impact on one's psyche. Faith provides many of the core needs of humans, and... similar races, as well. Such needs include community, hope, and ritual. The rite of ritual provides order and stability into the life of a believer. Ritual, no matter what it is, provides a mental structure and continuum. The ritual, for example, of a steady bedtime, leaves one feeling more energetic. In a similar fashion, other rituals may also benefit, such as meditation for peace of mind, ritual bathing for cleanliness, etcetera. Keeping a schedule has proven psychological benefits, and religion and faith help create this and maintain it. Belief inspires hope. For this section, I will be delving into my own faith. For because I believe in the good of the Four, I have hope that there is still a place for me when my mortal existence ends. I believe that Mikhail will judge my soul as good, and deliver me to Aidos, who will rebirth me. I believe that part of my reward will be to keep my memories of my prior plane. Because I believe this, I feel a sense of purpose in this world, and a drive to do an exceptional good, far more than I would feel based on my nature alone. My belief in Dormia also leads me to be precise and practical with my work. I take great pride in my medical profession, and strive to do good by her. Because I have faith, I feel an even greater drive, a greater purpose beyond my own mortal desires, to do well. Because I feel this drive, I am studious, I am successful, and I am able to benefit the good citizens of Helheim with my treatments and innovations. Lastly, community is a need of all beings that can be fulfilled by faith. When several individuals share similar beliefs, they form a community. Such communities defeat the malice of isolation, which can lead to several ailments including depression, paranoia, and madness. Such communities provide a positive, supportive foundation of which one can grow from. The Basilica encourages you to find faith. Do so, and improve your health. "Infernal Love" with Miss Scarlet Dear Miss Scarlet, I am having some severe troubles in bed of late. I have contracted some sort of venereal disease but the local healers are baffled how to treat it. Not only have I gone impotent but I am covered in rashes and sores, I toss and turn all night and it feels like I am walking on broken glass every where I go. No concoction of herbs or medicines has been able to touch it. The worst part of it is that my wife doesn't even seem to care! She just gets this smug look every time I mention how bad it is! Do you have any experience with this? -Signed, Suffering in the Jade Lotus Dear Suffering, I find that often our woes are our own faults in the end. Perhaps you should stop cheating on your wife with that geisha at the tea house and your troubles will resolve themselves. Dear readers,
Miss Scarlet's advice and reputation was recently impinged by none other than Aigie Ryder, Headmistress of the Cabbalan College of Obscure Arts, in her letter to the editor on the subject of my recommendation to Jilted in Jade Lotus. First of all, on the subject of my bona fides, let me state that Miss Scarlet is well versed in matters of the arcane, and has been serving up spells and hexes for quite some time and to great effect. Readers can trust the veracity of any such advice offered. Second, as to the nature of the hex recommended, it did not come from any Ogre's cookbook, but rather from the Books of Shadows of many a hedge mage, witch or warlock. The particular recipe offered is known as a Jar Hex or Witch Bottle and is a time honoured technique used for centuries upon centuries by practioners of the Craft. The witch bottle may be used as either a curse or as protection from one, depending on its contents and intent, and is a very basic example of targeted manifestation. It is often the first such hex or ward learned and, due to its exceedingly simple construction with readily available items, can be affected by very nearly anyone. I do agree with Miss Ryder that there are more powerful curses with better ratios of input to output but such was not my intent to arm the readers or Mrs Jilted with them. Curses such as a fetish doll are easy to unintentionally take too far especially in the hands of a novice motivated by the unfaithfulness one's husband. I submit that a Jar Hex with it's reliable but generalized effects and innocuous appearance is the perfect recipe for revenge to be offered to a jilted housewife of limited experience and means. Thirdly, decorum prevents me from impugning the reputation and credentials of Miss Ryder in a public fashion as she has so readily done to me. I would offer the advice that if she wishes to dish on the subject of magic in such a fashion perhaps she might be better served by securing her own column with the Multifarious Monthly Review which I am sure would be welcomed by the editors. ★★★★★★A Kabuki-Cat History Lesson★★★★★★
Performed for a one-time only show at the Jade Lotus Theater ---------------------------------------------- With a signal given to begin, the leader of the empire's renowned Kabuki Cats stepped onto the stage. The dapper Nekoyama, known as Yisu ,was in full costume, taking the role of 'Narrator' in today's performance. Her small padded feet made no noise as she took her place in the center of the stage. Behind her, clustered off to the side of the back-stage, the remaining feline actors fidgeted excitedly in place in eager anticipation. Yisu bowed to the gathered crowd. "Welcome one and all, as we take you back to a time before the empire, and share with you the tale...of the fall of a villainous red dragon, defeated in combat by our beloved Empress Tsuiteru." The Narrator-Cat backed away from the center of the stage with a bow, taking her position off to the side to make room for feline actors to play their parts. A trio of Nekoyami scurried around the stage, dragging in a backdrop of what appeared to be the city of Helheim, though a much older version of it, elaborately painted ... with only a few paw-prints marring the edges of the surface. ---------------------------------------------- From behind the fake-wall, stepped a single Nekoyami, elaborately dressed in a tiny white kimono and simple, yet elegant white mask. A fist-full of silvery white feathers were tied to the tip of her tail, and from the sides of her head peeked a fake set of tufted white and gold ears. Clearly, this was Empress-Cat. "Behold, my children...this will be our new home. We shall settle among the people here, and share the blessings of our Fortunes." Empress-Cat waved her little arm around which was wrapped up with what appeared to be a group of paper-mache baby noodly dragons. A few of the cats off-stage thrummed the strings of a biwa to add a little bit of musical flair. Light and delicate at first, the music raised in intensity as the Empress-Cat slipped to the side of the stage and a second feline actor emerged from behind the wall.... All of the actors growled and hissed. The new actor was dressed all in red, with a terrifying mask bearing horns and strips of wavy orange paper dangling from the mouth of the mask, fluttering with the cat's every breath. Miniature paper-mache wings had been strapped to Nekoyami's back. Enter...Vaeros-Cat. A third Nekoyami emerged, this one with a mask of a painted face and fake elven ears strapped to her head, and as scantily clad as a feline could get. Behold... Aigie-Cat. "Look at this puny human kingdom." His voice was scratchy, yet whiny at the same time. "They should all bow to me." Vaeros-Cat puffed out his chest over-dramatically, while Aigie-Cat swooned at his feet with a purr. "Come, elf-wench, let us see what we can take from this land.." And with a dramatic flourish, Vaeros-Cat would scoop up Aigie-Cat, and carry her off-stage with an evil cackle, stomping over a small Helheim styled village that had been set-up in the midst of the villain's performance. ---------------------------------------------- The stage was rearranged once again, with a forest backdrop being pulled to the center. Empress-Cat and Vaeros-Cat took their places in the middle of the stage, staring at one another. "We are strangers to this land, these are not your people to subjugate!" The Empress-Cat raised her voice and her paw, shaking it angrily at Vaeros-Cat. "Your actions turn the people against us." "I will do whatever I please. They are humans. They should count themselves fortunate I have not burned their city to the ground like I did their little village. Serves them right for daring to settle so close to my lair." Vaeros-Cat struck a pose, with both hands on his hips and blowing hard through his mask to stir the orange strips of paper hanging from the mouth. "We may have been friends once, but I will not stand for this blatant disregard for their lives. You will regret this path you've chosen one day, Vaeros." The Empress-Cat growled and threw a handful of confetti into the air. "I will stop you." Vaeros-Cat leaned back and laughed, cackling so hard that his little feline ears vibrated. "You? Hah! Hahahahahahaha!" And he continued to laugh, over-dramatically, doubling over a few times as he laughed, and laughed, and laughed......all the way off the stage, leaving the Empress-Cat to stomp her little pawed feet and turn to stalk off in the opposite direction. ---------------------------------------------- The stage was re-set one more time, with a small replica of a single building in the center, and painted blocks of wood to represent more of the city all around the building. Sitting upon the center of the main building, was a small, glowing stature of a woman holding up a shimmering orb. Empress Cat and Vaeros-Cat emerged onto the stage again, standing before the building. "Get out of the way, Tsui. I will have the artifact." The Nekoyami dressed as Vaeros growled and puffed out air to make his fake-fire blow. Empress-Cat held her arms out to block his way. "Never! You would use this against the people, I will not allow it....you have done nothing but cause destruction and harm. No more." And thus...the two 'dragon-cats' entered into battle with Vaeros-Cat launching himself at Empress-Cat! Clearly...Vaeros attacked first! The pair went leaping around the stage, with Vaeros-Cat throwing wads of orange paper-balls at the Empress-Cat, and she deflecting or dodging. They weaved a path of destruction around the stage, knocking over the painted wooden buildings in a flurry or fake-roars, growls, and a few meows. Off to one side of the stage, barely seen behind a curtain...lurked Aigie-Cat, keeping a close eye on her 'dragon' ---------------------------------------------- A new cat made his way from the opposite end of the stage as the dragon-cats danced in an epic but destructive battle. This cat wore a fine looking looking mask with a little golden crown balanced on his head. "Oh, my poor city!" He'd cry out in a clear, over-the-top voice. The pair of battling 'dragon's froze in place, a clear pause to direct attention to King-Cat. "I...King Thrym Spurius...must end this before these dragons level the city. But...what is this.." He'd point at the building in the center, untouched by the chaos of battle. "The dragons will stop if neither can have what they want..." ---------------------------------------------- The fighting between Empress-Cat and Vaeros-Cat resumed in full furious force, leaping, twirling, and circling each other in a stylized display, throwing out bits of red paper now to show blood being spilled between them both. Mrow! Scratch! Hiss! Paper blood was flinging everywhere, even out in the crowd. The little wooden city was all destroyed except for the single building holding the artifact. King-Cat ran to the building as the dragon-cats danced their lethal dance, picking up the statue. With a yell, he threw the artifact down so that it smashed upon the ground and shattered into dozens of pieces. "For my people!" He'd yell with the loudest roar his little feline voice could give. Such a hero! A cat-sized roar sounded from behind King-Cat! The villainous Vaeros-Cat jumped upon the back of King-Cat. "You'll die for that! How dare you get in my way, foolish human king!" His paws reached into his costume and he threw out a massive spray of red confetti while biting at the noble King-Cat. The King...flopped to the ground. Dead. His poor little crown rolled across the stage. Empress-Cat rose from the ground, shaking off bits of red paper 'blood' and launched herself at Vaeros-Cat again! "What have you done!" She'd yell and unleash an over dramatic flurry of swipes. Another spray of paper-blood exploded around the stage! And Vaeros-Cat slumped to the ground, with a wounded Empress-Cat. Vaeros-Cat tossed out wads of red paper around him and made a groaning death noise. She crawled over to the fallen King-Cat. "I'm sorry..I could not get to you in time...but your death...was avenged.." The Empress-Cat stood, staggering in an over-exaggerated manner to indicate how injured she'd been during the fighting, dropping more tiny shreds of paper blood as she limped from the stage. Still hiding behind the curtain, Aigie-Cat emerged with a sneaky bit of crouch-walking and gazed around the crowd. "You have not seen the last of us..hek hek hek..." The elf-cat cackled while dragging the seemingly dead Vaeros-Cat towards the far end of the stage, into a cave-like tunnel made of layers of dark fabric. ---------------------------------------------- Yisu, the Narrator-Cat, took her place again at center-stage. "And so, you have it...the vile Vaeros, defeated by our beloved Empress...but too late to save the King's ancestor. Yet, his sacrifice prevented the evil red dragon from unleashing untold horrors upon his people." All of the Kabuki-Cats pranced their way onto the stage to bow to the crowd. The End. Regarding Miss Scarlet's response to Jilted in Jade Lotus in the 08/30 edition of 'Infernal Love'
Anyone can assume that Miss Scarlet's advice to Jilted in Jade Lotus was to curse their husband. However, I call into question Miss Scarlet's qualifications to give such advice as the input to output curse energy is disproportionate. With all of the components being used, it would simply be easier, and more effective, to make a fetish doll to inflict pain and suffering directly. This really calls into question MM's vetting process as it sounds more like Miss Scarlet took this straight out of an ogre's cookbook. The CCOA has many talented and skilled individuals who are qualified to give such advice that would actually produce results. My advice to Miss Scarlet is to put away the toys and let real experts give advice on magic. Signed, Aigie Ryder CCOA Headmistress Mistress of Magic Cabbala Amartia |
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