So Brokil arranged a show from Kabuki Kats, wanted it to be real nice thing for Gorgun! Told weird cat thing about the First Tribe. This is real important story for greenskins. Did they tell the story of the First Tribe? No! Cat thing made a mess of it. Kept putting herself in story with silly name. Brokil don’t care about her dumb life! Brokil cares about the First Tribe! She gave herself a real dumb name like she was makin’ fun of Brokil’s story. This made him really angry! Brokil was shouting things like “That didn’t happen! That ain’t right!” but she kept going on and on making her joke. This was making Brokil all furious and stuff. She even messed up the ending of the story! Very important lesson for shoats and grots and she messed it up! Brokil was gonna crush real nice like, maybe make a fancy hat out of her skin. Gorgun was laughing and pleased though. If it made Gorgun happy then it is good mog...maybe. Still, Brokil thinks she made a joke and the cat better not come around Brokil again! Brokil’s Big Review? No mog. He thinks it should be bad mog but Gorgun was happy and told Brokil he did good job. This is good for Brokil….still….bad cat things. ![]() Brokil gives Kabuki Kats NO MOG Dear Miss Scarlet, How do you tell if someone likes you? I have this cat that will NOT leave me alone. She even posted a Sinder profile with a picture of both of us and said no one was allowed to touch me. Does that mean I'm married? Should I tell her there's no such thing as a half-goblin and that any children she has will be full on goblins? Nah, forget it, she'll figure it out. I've never had kids before, that I know of, I hope she doesn't want me to be involved. Do you have any suggestions for cat-repellent? Yours truly, Pawsitively perplexed. Dear Pawsitively Perplexed, First, let me thank you for the extremely colourful letter. It was almost like you couldn't decide on which wax coloring stick to use and decided to use all of them. To the meat of your query, I would say that yes, your feline belle is indeed quite interested in you. Many women have a manner of flirting that one could describe as aggressively signaling availability which can become quite possessive, particularly when they believe their feelings are not being reciprocated. In the absence of any mutual declaration I would say that at this point you are not yet formally married as such, though she seems to be very commitment minded. I did a bit of research on goblinoid reproductive habits and you are quite correct that half-goblins are a very rare occurrence as your ancestry has a striking manner of assertion over a zygote. For this as well as the rest of the issues raised in your missive my advice boils down to three things: communication, communication, communication! It's plain you have yet to address many of the matters plaguing you with her personally and I think a good sit down to clear the air is needed. Before that can happen to any effect, you must decide exactly how you feel about her and any future you might have. I sense some notes of reluctance in your letter and if you have any reservations it is better that you express them clearly and succinctly. As to your request for a medicinal remedy, I would suggest a compounded essence of actinidia polygama, commonly known as Silver Vine, which can be prepared by any alchemist of repute. Cheers and best of luck! Dear Miss Scarlet,
I am a recently widowed woman and though I may be a bit older, I still feel I am in my prime. It's only been a year since my husband's passing and I still grieve. I am not sure that I am ready yet to entertain dating a new beau, but I still have needs. Until fairly recently I had been taking care of matters myself but I was recently given a publication entitled "The Benefits and Dangers of Female Self-Pleasure." In it is a passage that mentions the possibilities of loss of pleasure and even increased pain of childbirth. I am still young enough to have another husband and even bear children and I don't want to take a chance on losing that or making it worse. How can I possibly avoid this fate while still taking care of my needs? - Hesitant in Helheim Dear Hesitant, Thank you for writing in seeking advice, it is always a pleasure to be able to help someone seeking to get back into life after a tragic loss. On a personal note, I myself have been in your position before, having survived four husbands to date. They just don't make them like they used to. As to the subject of your inquiry, I myself was not familiar with the publication you referenced but was able to find a copy around the offices of the Multifarious Monthly Review. I was not overly impressed with the contents and assertions therein, as they reflect an outdated view on the nature of feminine self pleasure and of women in general. Being a healthy female in her reproductive prime, you should have no fears of negative repercussions from any reasonable act of self pleasure and, if in doubt, I would trust the word of a proper midwife of repute over that of any religious figure that, quite frankly, sounds like they have not handled a vulva in a hound's age. I have included for you a free copy of my own publication "101 Ways to go Fuck Yourself: A Manual of Self-Love" which addresses the matter in more detail and should provide more than ample examples and suggestions to get you going again. Until next time dear readers, I remain -Miss Scarlet As reported by GGN Goblin Gossip Network. The Multifarious Monthly Review makes no claims that the Goblin GOSSIP Network is a reliable news source. Articles are posted with minor edits for spelling and grammar but not reviewed for content. The Multifarious Monthly Review does not accept any financial burden that results in the GGN's reporting practices. It is with a heavy heart that the GGN reports the loss of another reporter. Snetchalina, who took over when Snetch Jr was brutally murdered by... someone... has been murdered by none other than the Jade Lotus Empire's former Empress. A woman who claims to be a gentle soul who would never hurt a fly. You heard it here first, friends, Tsuiteru has been feeding POISON COOKIES to the GGN goblins. Was she working alone or for a nefarious, unnamed, tyrant from the Cabbala that is out to get the GGN? In order to ensure journalistic integrity, we immortalized the exchange in the form of descriptive writing, beautifully captured by the assistant! . . . Snetchalina had cleaned up after the bloody battle - an impromptu Meatgrindah amongst Goblin reporters of the GGN to determine who would have the right to interview Tsuiteru, the former Empress of the Jade Lotus Emprire. Tsuiteru always put out cookies, it was known. Now, with her trusty secretary beside her, she was ready for the interview. She adjusted her pencil skirt and pulled a quill from the hair piled on top of her head and nodded to the individual who would announce her to the former Empress.
"Announcing, Snetchalina of the GGN," announced the announcer while Snetchalina's secretary considered investing in a thesaurus. Snetchalina stepped into the room and looked around, trying not to appear overwhelmed at what she saw. Tsuiteru had been more than delighted to indulge the goblins in their request for an interview. Certainly it couldn't be worse than the time she'd let the Imperial Herald corner her into an interview. She had spent all morning preparing, fully expecting a swarm of the small greenskins to appear at her doorstep, so had all sorts of goodies ready. It wouldn't be the first time she'd fed a lot of goblin bellies! As often as she threatened to chase them out of her yard, she was also always leaving out trays of cookies in her windowsill for them to 'steal'. Though woe to the few the dragon did manage to lure into her house, for those were aggressively grand-mothered into eating a proper meal ...and ... a bath. But, when she opened her door to see only two goblins, her eyes widened in surprise. She even poked her head outside of her door to make sure there weren't more of them hiding in the shrubs. The old dragon looked Snetchalina up and down, smiling kindly and reaching down to pinch the goblin's cheek. "Well. Aren't you adorable. Come, come, make yourself comfortable. Are you and your assistant hungry? I.. may have gone a little overboard with the food." Snetchalina endured the cheek pinching and didn't comment on the obvious surprise from the former Empress. The assistant, another beautiful goblin woman in a well fitted pencil skirt, spoke up on her own behalf despite it being quite out of the ordinary. "Very much, Miss Empress Dragon," she told the former Empress and then pushed her way in, shoving a few handfuls of nibbles and tasties into her mouth so she could have her hand free to write again. Snetchalina was only a step behind, doing much the same, cleaning off an entire plate of little eggs wrapped in some fancy, and tasty leaf, rudely not leaving any for her assistant. Next she moved on to a plate of cookies, only half way through she began to gag. Grasping at her throat, Snetchalina's mouth dropped open, half chewed food dropping out of her mouth while she ran between her assistant and the former Empress. She was clearly in distress but her assistant was too busy recording events to actually intervene. The dragon happily ushered them into the cottage, giving each goblin a motherly little pat on the head. Though she did tsk faintly when they both went to gobbling down food as fast as possible. "Whoah.. slow down. Chew. You're gonna.." And, it happened. She gasped and began chasing Snetchalina around the small room, reaching to grasp the reporter by the back of her shirt. "Oh goodness.." The dragon rumbled, smacking the goblin on the back, over, and over, and over again. "Come on.. spit it out. Spit it out." And this is exactly why she was always trying to drill some etiquette into every gobbo that visited! Snetchalina managed to keep just out of reach of the luck dragon for nearly a solid minute while her secretary recorded the ghastly escapades. As the lack of air made the reporter slow, Tsuiteru was able to catch up and begin pounding her on the back, but it was too late. The life drained out of the little goblins eyes and she collapsed to the floor. There was an almost comical stillness in the room as both the secretary and the former Empress stared in shock. Finally, the dashing secretary spoke up, "well... I suppose this means I must interview you. Just call me Snetcharella." Tsuiteru held onto the body of Snetchalina, looking horrified. How could this have happened? Why weren't the goblins being taught basic etiquette.. like chewing slowly, one small bite at a time? And now... what was she going to do?! Well, first, she knelt down, still cradling the goblin's body in one arm, and dragging her fingers over Snetchalina's eyes to close them. "We can't continue the interview. Your friend here just choked to death." In her house. On one of her cookies! She gingerly began cleaning the small creature's face. "This is terrible. Poor thing..I told her not to eat so quickly.." She mumbled, clearly upset over the death of a single goblin. "We will bury her properly, and then..." She paused. "..are the goblins of the GGN part of the Tusks? If not.. who is your superior? An accident like this should be reported." Damn proper dragon couldn't just hide the body and be done with it. Snetcharella was baffled by Tsuiteru's devastation. Life goes on, and Snetchalina had become one with the Primals. Probably. Or something like that. Now she was just a body... she should contribute to the pot at this point. "No, ma'am, the GGN is not affiliated with any particular organization, not even the Multifarious Monthly Review. We don't speak about our structure to outsiders, but I'll make sure this is reported." IN THE NEWSPAPER! A death like this, in the house of the former Empress of the Jade Lotus Empire?! THAT was going to SELL PAPERS and keep the board VERY happy. Snetcharella couldn't have planned it better if she'd tried. Being promoted to journalist in the same moment as getting the scoop of the century. "So... did you make those cookies yourself, ma'am?" she asked, trying to keep her tone light and innocent. She nodded her head, somewhat absently, as if only half paying attention to the reporter. Ohhh. This was bad. Very, very bad. "Hm. Oh.." The dragon rumbled in a more subdued tone as she laid the goblin's body on her coffee table. "..well, yes. It would have been rude not to have food prepared for guests. I have always loved cooking...and I have so much more free time these days..." She murmured, still seeming distracted as she rose to her feet and headed towards the back of the cozy cottage to an ornate looking cabinet. Pulling it open revealed various folded stacks of silk, fancy trinkets, and jeweled accessories. She fished out a single bolt of white silk, returning to the table where she delicately began to wrap Snetchalina's body. "So. No.. particular funeral rites? Any family or next of kin that I could notify? There must be someone I could give condolences to?" "Next of Kin?" asked Snetcharella, "oh gosh no. Goblins don't bequeath things to others. We all just swarm the body and take what we want and then add her to the pot so we don't starve. It is known." So much for funeral rites. She watched Tsuiteru wrapping the body and reached out to test the feel of the fabric between her fingers, assessing it's value. She was so making a dress out of that. Snethalina didn't need it anymore. As for the cookies... "so... I understand now. TELL ME THE TRUTH," she shouted, standing up on a chair to point an accusing finger, "YOU WORK FOR ████* OF THE CABBALA AND ARE HELPING TO SYSTEMATICALLY WIPE OUT ALL OF THE GGN!!" She barely took a breath before continuing, "well... JOKES ON YOU... Empress... when one of us goes down, THREE MORE RISE!! Like a mother-fucking Hydra!" * The Goblin Gossip Network has not published the name of Shyn of the Cabbala within this document. That censor bar is for an entirely different person in the Cabbala and not Shyn. No mention of Shyn has taken place in this article or any future articles. Tsuiteru let out a soft sigh of frustration and remorse. "Very well then. Seems... insensitive, but if it is your ways, I will respect it." The dragon began to sit down, her expression one of guilt, misery, and... puzzlement. She was a luck dragon, and this had to be the worst possible thing that could have happened for an interview. Sure, sometimes her luck flipped the wrong way as a matter of balance but why did it have to be now?! She remained silent and thoughtful, for the moment not a suitable subject to interview until Snetcheralla hopped up onto her furniture and started shouting at her. Wow. Rude. Slowly, and deliberately, the dragon pushed herself back to her feet. Her remorseful gaze turned stern as she approached the reporter. The old dragon leaned down, putting her face almost nose-to-nose with the goblin. "I will not condone rudeness in my house. Do not, raise your voice to me, and do not stand on my furniture. If I have to scold you again, I will put you over my knee like an unruly child. Understand?" Oh no. She was using her disappointed grandmother voice, though moments after her warning, her tone softened. "Now. Tell me, what do you actually know of me and my reputation, hm?" Snetcharella continued to point an accusing finger, answering in a husky stage whisper, "I... know... EVERYTHING," she claimed. "You want to bury the truth. You're not even a REAL Luck Dragon! Else how could THIS happen in your house?!" It didn't matter that Snetcharella had been granted a huge dollop of GOOD luck... Snetchalina had an even larger dollop of BAD luck. "That's because... YOU ARE NOT THE REAL TSUITERU! You... are... an... IMPOSTER!" She hesitated and added, "an imposter noodle dragon... an IMPASTA!" There. She'd said it. Her predecessor had interviewed Empress Koharu and came to the same conclusion, it wasn't that far of a stretch (for a goblin anyway). "WHO ARE YOU REALLY?! I bet... I bet you're actually an agent of HELHEIM. Maybe one of their secret society of assassins and ne'er-do-wells!!" She was on a roll and showed no sign of stopping. The dragon took a deep calming breath. Her emotions were already frazzled from having a poor goblin choke to death on one of her cookies right in her own home. She would NOT lash out in anger. No, she would be calm, composed, regal even as she snatched for the back of the mouthy goblin's neck once Snetcharella had finished her outburst. Because.. it would have been rude to interrupt. Now, in her current form, Tsuiteru appeared dainty, almost fragile, but that was far from the truth. She was still a dragon, and throwing a small goblin over her lap shouldn't be too much of a problem! She'd then unleash a flurry of sharp swats against the goblin's backside. "What did I say about being rude in my house? I do not abide poor manners. You will be polite. You will mind your manners. Got it?" Well, she had warned the goblin she would spank her if she misbehaved again, and shouting accusations at her about being an imposter definitely fit the requirements. She'd set the reporter back on her feet, and even offer a bit of cloth to dry her eyes if the ordeal had been a bit too much. Tsuiteru was a stickler for etiquette and manners, but she was still a big old soft-hearted dragon over-all. "Now.." She murmured in a moor soothing voice, taking the goblin into her arms for a more comforting, motherly hug. ".. lets start over, shall we?" Snetcharella kicked and screamed as the ancient noodle dragon tanned her backside and the moment Tsuiteru tried to envelope her in a motherly hug the goblin bolted for the door. "OPPRESSION! SUPPRESSION! CENSORSHIP!!" she screamed, her voice fading as she ran farther and farther away. "THE PEOPLE HAVE THE RIGHT TO KNOW!!" Apparently, the interview was over! Yisu stepped up onto the stage and raised her voice. Despite all the noise of the feast, and the Nekoyami being so small, her voice boomed across the camp. "Welcome! Welcome! Greenies! Pinkies! And everything in between, to another jaw dropping, thigh slapping, belly laughing performance by BEST troupe of actors ever to grace Sincadere -- The Kabuki-Cat Theater Troupe." Yisu had hyping up the performance down to an art by now. "Please! Everyone get comfortable and settle in... as the Kabuki Cats proudly regales you all with the tale of the First Tribe of Orcs in.... " Dun Dun Dun. "...DANCES WITH CHICKENS!" ******ACT 1 SCENE 1****** The fires around the platform go dim as the stage is darkened, and the only thing casting light is a single candle on a miniature writing desk. Yisu, the leader of the Kabuki-Cat Troupe, is writing on a strip of parchment. Above her, a hooded lantern is shining a spotlight down on her by a precariously perched Nekoyami stage-hand. Yisu speaks in a somber tone as she continues to write while occasionally peering up at the stars through the branches hanging over the camp…. “Dear Diary, I arrived to find the Black Tusk Camp… deserted. I am now waiting for the orcs’ return or word from the Empire. Camp is in exceedingly poor condition. Have decided to assign myself clean-up duty beginning tomorrow. Supplies abundant. The forest is everything I dreamed it would be. There can be no place like this on Sincadere. Almost a month and no one has come. The longer this condition persists, the less inclined I am to believe that anyone will…” Yisu stops writing suddenly and looks up at the sound of a group of orc-cats marching in front of her, shouting boisterously and hoisting hastily carved wooden deer above their heads. The cat blinks, then quickly adds. “Oh. Guess they were just out out hunting…to be continued!” While she is writing, another Nekoyami steps quietly behind her out of her field of view, holding a sign above his head and in massive bold letters the sign reads – ‘Its Been 10 Minutes Since Her Arrival In the Camp… >.<’ ~~~~~~~~~ The hooded lantern above closes on Yisu, darkening her writing desk. Light then floods the center of the stage. Off in the shadows, Yisu puts on an elaborate feathered headdress and runs to the center of the stage where five Nekoyami garbed as spirits and seven more wearing orc masks stood waiting with a single dark Nekoyami in all black balanced on clearly uneven stilts. A trio of cats spring from the darkness, paper streamers trailing behind them as they ran counter-clockwise around the group while “Oooooooohing and Meeeeowing” to show the backwards passage of time. ~~~~~~~~~~ Yisu pipes up in a much higher tone than she used during the monologue. “I am...Dances with Chicken. I was a Nekoyami in the olden days, before we were LIBERATED by the Great Dragon! I find a clearing, empty and bountiful. Oh how Blessed I am! There is no such clearing like this on Sincadere!” The Dark Nekoyami on stilts spoke up in an overly villainous, and if asked, dastardly voice, “I am Msch-Enzi!” his name coming out like a sneeze from the cat’s face. I am mean, I am evil! I trample and make sure all Nekoyami do not have a Master or Mistress. Freedom, which is the bane of the Nekoyami, is my weapon. None can stand in my way!!!” He would cackle madly as if drunk with power. The Earth and Fire elemental Nekoyami stepped forward as one. “We five: Earth, Fire, Water, Wind and Spirit. Are the Elder Ones! We don’t like the Nasty Msch-Enzi! He rolled around and made us. But he is mean.” The Earth and Fire elemental looked to one another then both threw down some powder that filled the stage that had all the Nekoyami coughing till it disappeared. When it cleared, and after a rush of paws on stone, instead of two people, there was one female Elemental spirit that looked like an orc. “We are no longer Earth and Fire, we are Krank-lob-oorz, Krank for short. We are a Dark Mommy and we give birth to the First Tribe.” Fan Fare from behind the stage blares out loudly from cats puffing their cheeks and yowling at the top of their little lungs! One of the seven orc nekoyami step forward: “I am He that Should Not Be Named! I am the Dark Lord,” Msch-Enzil seemed offended, “and I am the Destroyer of all those that have a lightning bolt on their forehead! My brothers and sisters and I make up the first tribe. We have the Iron One '' One of the orc nekoyami bowed. “The Slavelord! The Burning One, and the Thunderer!” Metal wobble sounds came from behind the stage to mimic Thunder. The Nekoyami were of course given the real names of the First Tribe, but they were too hard for the cats to pronounce. They would get titles instead… The one that bowed, who looked oddly like the Great and Glorious Gaboon, the Iron One pointed to Dances with Chicken, “Hark! I see a cat in the clearing we were going to settle! We must beat our fists against our chest and show her we aren’t afraid!” They started to do so at Dances with Chicken, pounding their paws vigorously against their chests while more cats beat drums behind stage. ******ACT 1 SCENE 2****** The lights start to fade on the main stage, and Yisu yanks off her headdress, sending a few feathers flying as she rushes back towards the miniature writing desk. She throws herself at the desk, tumbling head over heels to land her butt right in the seat moments before the spotlight kitty shone his lantern on the monologue stage. Yisu huffed and puffed a few times to catch her breath, picking her brush up to write again…. “Dear Diary, ...There does seem to be a chicken who is intent on the goings on here. He does not seem inclined to be a nuisance however, and has been my only company..if he comes calling tomorrow, I will name him Lunch….. It is the loneliest of times... but I cannot say that I am unhappy without my fellow Nekoyami…Have had my first activities with the Orcs. One came to me and tried to show me around, his name was Brokil. Do not know how many more orcs that will show interest, but I am taking steps for another visitation. Am burying excess Nekoyami dolls before the goblins riot, lest it fall into enemy hands. “ ~~~~~~~~~~ Yisu would stop and look at the crowd expecting gasps. She waited a long awkward ten seconds before shrugging, and snapping her pawed finger. The light went out around her, she was seen putting on the headdress and running to center stage, huffing, only the first Orcs were there, the rest lined the stage in the background while the timey-whimey cats did their circles around the group. Woooweeeewooooo. ~~~~~~~~~~ Yisu spoke up in the same high pitched voice, “I was welcomed into the tribe! I did not have a name then, but they saw me chasing a chicken….” A small nekoyami dressed like a chicken tried to trip her with its beak. She then rolled up some paper and started chasing and whacking at the chicken. The First Tribe watched and whispered amongst themselves, “Ta-Tanka….Ta-Tanka.” The nekoyami stopped chasing the chicken and looked to first orcs, “What does that mean?” She asked. In unison, the orcs spoke with reverence, even the Dark Mommy, “Dances with Chickens….” There was a smaller nekoyami with a goblin mask grinning. He spoke slyly, “I am The Grinning One, ancestor to ALL gobbos. And I want to do lewd things to Dance with Chickens.” Dances with Chickens blushed, bringing a fan to her face. ******ACT 2 SCENE 1****** Yisu was nearly out of breath by the time she ran back to her spot on the monologuing stage, gasping and gulping in air raggedly. She reached up for a moment, wiping sweat from her brow before taking up her brush again to resume her depictions of her own experiences with the orcs. “Dear Diary, A war game is going against this Huts With Many Pebbles and I have asked to go. I sensed that I have made a mistake in doing so but I could not bring myself to take it back. They are my friends and from what little I gather The Huts With Many Pebbles have been very hard on these people. I.. hope I have not overstepped my bounds… On another note….I have been accepted into the camp, and have met the most beautiful of goblins….Mick Dagger” If anyone glanced at her writing desk notes, heart surrounded his name, with Y+M = <3 everywhere on the page. ~~~~~~~~~~ Yisu stood again and blew her new boyfriend, Mick Dagger, a kiss before she put on the headdress, which had a lot less feathers in it from before with its overuse. She ran back on stage, her costume shifting slightly out of place because of all the back and forth. On the stage, the elemental cats, The Elder Ones, stood to one side of the stage looking disapprovingly. The First tribe orcs were on the other side facing them, with Yisu and Msh-enzi standing in the center. Breathless she spoke in the changed high pitched voice, facing the big bad dark nekoyami on stilts. ~~~~~~~~~~ “We of the First Tribe have come to defeat you, Msh-enzi!” Again it sounded like she was sneezing when saying the name. It seems Dances with Chickens was made one of the Tribe of Great Myth. The First Tribe actors all took up very poor kung fu stances, and so did Msh-enzi, as best that he could on stilts. Dances with Chicken rushes past the stilted nekoyami, towards Kronk, the Dark Mommy, who was with her Elder Ones. “Dark Mommy!” implored Yisu, “Your babies are fighting the big bad! We need help!” The scene erupted as the First tribe started doing kungfu. One or two were hoisted up on the rickshaw of a rigging that was precariously placed on the stones of the Black Tusk platform. They swung and spun unspectacularly during the fight. Dances with Chicken charged Msh-enzi with battle rage, or at least pretend battle rage. She was small, but she knew how to bite ankles, and she did that, and bit into wood. As the fight started, the Elder Ones all shook their head as one, and Kronk turned on them with her hand on her hips. “How dare you stand aside while my babies are fighting!” The one known as Spirit spoke, “Not our fight, not our problem.” Dark Mommy responded, “But he is mean! So what he rolled around and gave birth to you. He is mean and bad!” The Elder Ones, once again, just shook their head. Once this interaction had ended, all the First Tribe except the Iron One, the cat miraculously still had his pillow tucked in his clothes to mimic the Great and Glorious Gaboon’s belly, abruptly laid down, as if defeated. “SEE!” Dark Mommy continued, “You hate my babies and let them be defeated.” ******ACT 2 SCENE 2****** Yisu had to hop off stage and chug a glass of water, pouring some of it onto herself to cool off from all the running back and forth between scenes. This was the last time she was gonna fit a story inside a story! She shook her head, sending droplets of water flinging from her fur. Oh no. Someone should have put a splash zone warning for the front row of the audience. No one had warned them they might get wet. Now refreshed, Yisu scurried to her writing desk. The lights on the main stage went dim once more, and a spot-light, wobbling unsteadily shone down upon her. “Dear Diary, “Mick has been teaching me the most delightful orc words! Though..I am confused. The rest of the goblins all snicker and elbow each other when I repeat them. Perhaps I have not been pronouncing them right? Still…. Nothing I have been told about these people is correct. They are not monsters and thieves. They are not the bogeymen they have been made out to be.” ~~~~~~~~~~ Yisu stared for a few moments with longing in her eyes at Mick Dagger, getting lost in her own dreams. She was brought out of it as the hood lantern winked out from around her, and the stage was lit empty of ‘Dances with Chickens’. On the stage, the Slavelord stood, looking confused, along with all the Elder Ones, all looking confused as well. This was not part of the script. Yisu came running on stage and gives a small apologetic bow to the crowd. ~~~~~~~~~~ The Slavelord steps forward and in a loud whisper to carry over the crowd he says, “The Elder Ones like you Dances with Chicken! You will lure each one to you, and I will capture them! They were mean, and left us to be defeated, and they need to be punished.” Yisu’s character nodded and looked like she was a part of a grand conspiracy. Dances with Chicken spoke, addressing the Elder Ones, “I want to give you a gift for being awesome! Come seek me out one by one, cause it is private! I promise it isn’t a trap.” She would add the last. The Elder Ones looked at one another and shrugged, all of them turning their backs to Yisu. One by one they would come to her, and one by one, the Slavelord would put them in chains, the nekoyami playing the part would wrap loose ropes around each Elder Ones wrists. Half the rope ties were falling off. Yisu jumped up and down after the last, her paws curled upward into claws, and said hyper excitedly, “AND ALL WILL FEAR AND RESPECT DANCES WITH CHICKEN!” As if she captured them all by herself. The Grinning One walked up to her, and gave her a saviors kiss through his gobbo mask. Yisu blushed, surprised. Was that in the script? What would Mick think? ******ACT 3 SCENE 1******
This time another Nekoyami had to help Yisu scurry back to her desk, legs starting to wobble from all the running around. She dropped her headdress next to her seat, the lone feather standing strong. Her helper leaned down to whisper in her ear, and suddenly, the cat’s face went red and her mismatched eyes went wide. Oooops! She coughed and quietly pulled the straps of her top back in place, whistling as if nothing had happened when she picked her brush up. “Dear Diary, It was hard to know how to feel. I had never been in a war game before. I have heard that the bunnies do this too, but I have never been inclined to participate in battle till now. This one had not been fought for territory or riches or to make men free. This battle was all ego. It had been fought to preserve MOG…” Another cat slipped behind her to hold up another sign plastered with question marks the moment she mentioned MOG. “ ..it had been fought to test their skills, to build camaraderie amongst the tribe, and secure bragging rights. I felt a pride I had never felt before.” ~~~~~~~~~~ At the end of this monologue, Yisu appeared focused, and purposely didn’t look at her main squeeze this time. She hopped up and sprinted to the stage faster than before, feathers flew everywhere. Her headdress was only just a lone feather at this point. She weezed on stage as the light hit her. She was standing with the First Tribe and Dark Mommy. They were squared off against Msh-enzi. ~~~~~~~~~~ Yisu spoke in that different voice she kept using to denote her Dances with Chickens character, “And so the final battle commenced. I, Dances with Chicken, joined the First Tribe and Dark Mommy to put down ‘The Rolling One’” Her paws came up in quotes, she didn’t want to pronounce Msh-enzi again. “It was a fierce battle but in the end, I….we were victorious” The stage exploded as the actors took kung fu stances, and the same ones as before were hoisted up into the air. Once again, they just swung wildly and twirled in place. But on the ground floor, the action was fierce as the dark cat on stilts was assaulted on all sides. Finally, it was Gaboon cat, errr The Iron One, with his GREAT BELLY OF MIGHT, and Dances with Chicken, who toppled the giant Msh-enzi. The dark nekoyami fell to the ground, in a not so gentle manner, causing some of the nekoyami faces to flash concern, and the mean one was defeated. The Dark Lord! He Who Shall Not Be Named, ran forward exclaiming, “I AM THE DESTROYER!” And he pretended to eat the dying Msh-enzi. In reality, he was checking to see if the other nekoyami was ok. ******ACT 3 SCENE 2****** Yisu had to be carried to her writing desk, disheveled, and plastered with sweat. The light on the main stage went dim. The stage-hand working the hooded lantern wobbled unsteadily, nearly tipping over on the unsteady rigging as the light was turned back towards the small monologue stage. Yisu heaved a sigh as she slumped into her seat. Silence began to stretch, followed by a soft snore before one of the cat’s poked her ribs. Yisu squealed and jerked back awake, snatching her brush up into her paw! She took a deep breath as she prepared her final entry, but not before blowing Mick a quick kiss. “Dear Diary, I thought Mick and I had been discreet but apparently we fooled no one. Henbutt said if the match was accepted, many bird skulls would be presented to me. I.. had never been married before. I don’t know if all brides have the same experience. But..as Henbutt began to speak of what was expected of a goblin wife, my mind began to swim in a way that shut out everything but him. The tiny details of his clothes. The contours of his shape. The glint of cunning in his eyes. The smallness of his feet. I knew that the love between us would be forever.” ~~~~~~~~~~ If hearts could fill her eyes, they would be beating out of her sockets, as she stared lovingly at Mick Dagger, her boyfriend. Once again the spotlight shut out, bringing her back to reality. Yisu raced to the stage, this time making it there before the spotlight kitty hit his cue. Yisu’s fur was drenched with sweat. ~~~~~~~~~~ The stage only had The First Tribe, Dances with Chicken included amongst them, The Dark Mommy, and a final figure with three eyes. Dances with Chickens turned to The Grinning One, an gave him a kiss on his mask, her victory phase. She did a side glance towards Mick Dagger, guilt written on her face, hoping he would understand that actresses had to give kisses during plays to others. She breathed and spoke, “Now First Tribe and Dark Mommy! Make many children, and then go off to the Good Place with all the elf women and men one can have!” The new three eyed orc nekoyami stood forward as Yisu went off stage, hand in hand with The Grinning One. “I am MOG! Mog is good! All Orc babies and gobbo babies shall follow Mog! We will become a great nation of Mog! MOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!” He would scream out his name in a glorious primal scream. The Gaboon/Iron One cat sat on a throne and nodded, cause all was good. All was Mog. **THE END**** The entire troupe lined up on either side of Yisu, who was still huffing and panting to catch her breath, and bowed while two of the cats held up one giant sign that read -- THE END. Yisu raised her voice one last time. "Thank you all! If ever wish to secure a Kabuki-Cat performance for you own events, you can find us in the Empire! And don't forget to check out our gift shop for Nekoyami Dolls, authenticating Meatgrindah Cards, and Broki's fine soaps and oils!" Cause why wouldn't she miss a chance to plug an advertisement not just for the troupe but their store as well. (The Great Debate from Nov 7th, 2021)
"Thank you for taking the time to read the Debate between myself and her Majesty, Queen Laya of Helheim. You will find this debate to be a tale of two halfs, with the first topic supposedly being about magic and so forth. And the second being about theism. The first half of the debate I believe went firmly in the hands of Basilica, since the Queen tried to establish a false dichotomy between Religious belief and magical and scientifical advancement. As if the two are mutually exclusive. Many of her points were dismissed by the moderator. It became apparently that there is much agreement between Helheim and the Basilica on how dangerous magic can be, and why it must be regulated with Helheim actually supporting stricter laws on magic. The second half of the debate belonged to the Queen, and exposed some flaws with the Basilica. I will leave it to you to read and make your own conclusions, but the second half of the debate is definitely where it spices up considerably. Still, common ground was found and understanding I believe, as well as a useful chance to dispel rumours about the Basilica. Enjoy." ~Ralathos [2021/11/07 10:57] ʟᴀʏᴀ ꜱᴘᴜʀɪᴜꜱ-ʀʏᴅᴇʀ (decembertwentythird): approached the debate platform and would visor her brow with her magical hand to peer into the crowd. She'd be looking for her LOVING husband. But she'd pout when she'd not see him. Sighing a long sigh, she'd be annoyed at herself for missing him terribly. Nonetheless, she'd unfurl a scroll of materials from her belt and gave a wave to the members of the crowd. Her children and mother were there at least which did cheer her up and put a smile on her face. At Ralath's arrival too, she'd move towards him and extended a hand, a simple gesture of good will. "It's an honor, Ser Ralath. I am excited to hear your arguments on this day." Deacon was always an enigma to her. Perhaps the crotchety old man and her were much alike in their role in court. Tyr's prime advisors in many ways. Thankfully she wasn't as wrinkled as he was or he'd be Queen! "Deacon." she'd give him a nod as well. [2021/11/07 11:01:06] Ralathos: made his way to the debate and took his place on the podium, fiddling about the papers and looking over what was there. He didn't bring many notes himself, he was quite happy with his position and arguments. Studying the brief bits of information he had brought though before he glanced out at the crowd. He was relatively surprised so many cared enough to come, but pleased all the same. Smiling briefly at the crowd and looking over those he recognized, and several he did not. Notables from other Kingdoms even, it was all very impressive. However when the Queen came over, he left his podium and did the same. Moving towards her and bowing his head first. "Your Majesty." Before he took and shook her hand. "The honour is mine, I am glad we can have this debate and I thank you for the oppertunity to represent the Basilica. Rather than it being represented through various peoples ideas of it, I can actually present those ideas. Then whatever happens, it can be judged fairly at least." Bowing his head again before [2021/11/07 11:01:06] Ralathos: he gestured to her Podium. "I wish you luck in your presentation." Before he made his way back to his podium. [2021/11/07 11:02:29] Deacon Iskander: gave the queen a respectful nod of his head as she addressed him. “Good day your Majesty.” As she was focused mostly on her opponent, he’d graciously be silent as he prepared his thoughts, once the two had greeted each other he’d request very formally that the queen return to her dais in hushed tones, while he was the moderator of this debate He was not keen to give “instructions” to those of much higher standing. He gripped the edges of the dais with pressed lips and a low sigh, he’d been requested to Moderate this debate by the Royal Family for reasons that were beyond him. Alas He would do his duty, and would do so to the standards expected by the great Kingdom of Helheim. So, with a decidedly authoritative and projected voice the old human would speak to those in attendance. “Greetings citizens and visitors to Helheim. It is the Kingdom's honor to present to you a debate between two pillars of society. Representing magical science, Her Majesty the Queen of Helheim, Laya Spurius. [2021/11/07 11:02:30] Deacon Iskander: Representing religion, archon of the Basilica, Ralathos. To be clear, nobility nor rank shall be used by either party during the course of this debate and I will exercise common law authority as needed to maintain order and a respectful debate. Deviations will not be tolerated from the subjects as agreed upon by the two parties." The advisor to the court would clear his voice, and look down to the scroll a moment just to make sure that he was enunciating the topics clearly. “The topics as agreed are the costs and benefits of magical practice, and theism and Helheim.” Those red eyes would peer at the two who would be arguing the topics, these topics were generally the things that started wars. He just hoped people would allow reason to sway the day, for a change. “With this in mind, I officially began this debate. Opening statements will now begin, the Queen will start oral arguments. I ask the audience to please keep their comments and behavior appropriate for this venue.” [2021/11/07 11:04:32] ʟᴀʏᴀ ꜱᴘᴜʀɪᴜꜱ-ʀʏᴅᴇʀ (DecemberTwentyThird): "And I wish you luck as well. Truly, I don't view this as some competition like a court case. Rather, a forum for intellectual curiosity. I hardly think we'll inspire others to new beliefs, but, hopefully it's enlightening and engaging." she'd give him a respectful nod back before she'd hear Deacon's call to begin oral arguments and she'd retreat back to her podium. She'd give Ralath a moment to return to his place too before she'd ready to proceed. [2021/11/07 11:06:08] ʟᴀʏᴀ ꜱᴘᴜʀɪᴜꜱ-ʀʏᴅᴇʀ (DecemberTwentyThird): cleared her throat and she'd swiftly begin, "Friends, countrymen, nobles and leaders of the court. May it please our city...." "To prostrate yourself before the Gods is a subversion of Free Will." she'd say free will so emphatically that it almost sounded as a proper noun. "My name is Laya-Quinn Spurius, Queen of Helheim, and I am here today to denounce the idea of conventional worship of the Gods in return for blessings and magical boons in favor of adopting the scientific method as an alternative for sating our thirst for a better life. Demystifying the universe can be an arduous and perhaps dangerous process. My opponent today may attempt to argue that tinkering with magical design beyond our current comprehension is folly. He may even use historical evidence from past events to try to paint me as a Faustian figure whose thirst for knowledge will ultimately lead to hardship and suffering. However, to this I say that such an argument lacks any concept of what I am to name 'symbolic infinity.' By [2021/11/07 11:06:08] ʟᴀʏᴀ ꜱᴘᴜʀɪᴜꜱ-ʀʏᴅᴇʀ (DecemberTwentyThird): this, I mean they don't understand, and so they fear what they don't deem measurable in outcomes. Yet, to apply the folly of old outcomes and attempt to apply the same outcomes under new conditions is a rather preposterous prospect. Dogmatic myopia guided by the moral authority of the church Gods has long repudiated the notion that new magitech should be created to bring Helheim back to the Golden Age of technology which once made our country a veritable heaven on Sincadere since the Great Cataclysm." she'd pause a beat and drew a new breath. "Instead, the church and it's forbears, namely the inquisition and the puritans respectively, chose to, in the wake of tragedy, soothe their grief by supplanting their will for faith to see their society healed. And, as part of their teachings, the Gods have so said in their doctrines to do no further magical experimentation. Why? Because human ascent in technology almost once threatened the need for their worship. They were made obsolete once by ingenuity. That is to [2021/11/07 11:06:08] ʟᴀʏᴀ ꜱᴘᴜʀɪᴜꜱ-ʀʏᴅᴇʀ (DecemberTwentyThird): say, lifespans dramatically increased to nigh-immortality. War was eliminated thanks to guardian constructs who upheld the law. Hunger and disease, so far as I can tell from the sources given there was little to no mention of either, were gone. And this was all part and parcel of a Godless society. One whose Gods had abandoned them long ago." "Our spiritual forbears, the scientists and inventors of Helheim should be the archetype of human excellence. They understood the concept of 'symbolic infinity.' That is to say, they weren't deterred in their efforts to quantify that which was believed to be unmeasurable. There are many things in our universe that we're limited by that are seemingly infinite. Time and space being among them, however, they too are only symbolically infinite because we've developed measurements of space and distance just as we've developed rational methods to quantify time. The same too, can be applied to magical science which would lend to the mastery of an infinite well-spring of power [2021/11/07 11:06:47] ʟᴀʏᴀ ꜱᴘᴜʀɪᴜꜱ-ʀʏᴅᴇʀ (DecemberTwentyThird): which lies on this planet. The ley lines and arcane floes, so far as we've measured, are endless in their energy. Given this knowledge, I have come today to propose this source of energy to supplant relying on Gods to obtain magical blessings." "With all that said, what will it take to harness this power? Will. Simply put, the belief in oneself that the perceived limitations put on them are actually non-existent barriers. Through study, we can unravel all of the problems the Gods so offer a panacea to without having to sacrifice this Will through worship. Our medical advancements make us grow closer to immortality each year. You now have lighting and heating available in your homes to stave off the cold. You'll soon be able to communicate long distances without having to travel. We've identified other planets in our solar system and the building blocks of life. --- With just a bit more effort.. We can surpass every gift a God could offer us while only bowing to the morality of the TRUE law. Man's law. The [2021/11/07 11:06:47] ʟᴀʏᴀ ꜱᴘᴜʀɪᴜꜱ-ʀʏᴅᴇʀ (DecemberTwentyThird): laws of the King that have instituted civility by mortal men for mortal men. With that said, it is my greatest hope to convince everyone in attendance of the great need for new scientists in this country rather than clergymen. We will revive our golden age when we make God from our machines." "To prostrate oneself before a God would be a subversion of Free Will. One will only lead to stagnation and ultimately for our great empire to fade into obscurity." Of course, since that was a mouthful, she'd not neglect to wiggle a finger at her Mother for her grin after her presumably lengthy speech! [2021/11/07 11:13:26] Deacon Iskander: was respectful as he observed the queen, for several minutes, as her opening statement took quite a while. One normally saved some things for the middle and end of the debate. He’d blink a little as she finished, and remembered that he should alert the other party it was his turn. “The floor is now yours Arch Paladin for your opening statement.” [2021/11/07 11:20:08] Ralathos: returned to his podium and looked over the crowd once more, then smiled to himself as he turned his attention to the Queen. He was going to enjoy this. He smirked a little during the Queen's speech and when it was done he nodded too her. "Well, first I would like to thank you all for coming. And secondly the esteemed and noble Monarchy of Helheim for allowing this discussion." Before he took a deep breath, shuffled his notes and then got to it. "My position is simple. That faith is an important part of life for many. Not just the Basilica and the Gods we worship, but for all people across this land. Many hold to different Gods or different beliefs. The world we live in is full of mysteries, wonders and strange powers that often shape and define how we live. Many of us will go our whole lives without truly understanding or even comprehending many of them. There are realms beyond this mortal, material plane, I believe we have some guests here who are more acquainted with them." Eyes moving over some in the [2021/11/07 11:20:08] Ralathos: crowd. "As such, I believe that faith helps us find strength, hope, motivation and meaning in our lives. That what we do, and more important what happens after we are gone, matters. That this life is not the end, not all of us are so fortunate as to have such grand life spans, or a version of immortality. Many of us struggle against dangerous and adversity. Many of us suffer." He sighed deeply. "Faith is something that can help us push through that, to find a deeper meaning and a deeper truth to what we experience. Our world changes rapidly, and life here quickly. The Basilica is no different. What it was, is not what it is now. To put it simply... much of what it used to do it no longer does. Times have changed. We do not have Inquisitors anymore roaming about. The Basilica does not control the policy, neither legal, diplomatic, or ethical. Helheim is in the hands of its rulers, and its rulers are not the Basilica. My position is that this city allows people of all types to live within it, it should allow [2021/11/07 11:20:09] Ralathos: those of different faiths too." He nodded simply. "However, those faiths should be judged on what they actually believe. Not on what is common gossip or what common "beliefs" about what we believe. And during tonights debate, I will elaborate on many of those things. Thank you for your time." Before he looked over to the Queen and then Alex and nodded. [2021/11/07 11:24:54] Deacon Iskander: peered at the man with a perked brow, finding some of the content to be rather interesting. Deacon would thank Ralathos and turn towards the queen. “Opening statements are now concluded. I now turn the floor over to Her Majesty, with the topic The costs and benefits of magical practice.” He’d gesture to the queen with a formal and respectful manner and would keep an keen ear on the words spoken. [2021/11/07 11:37:07] ʟᴀʏᴀ ꜱᴘᴜʀɪᴜꜱ-ʀʏᴅᴇʀ (DecemberTwentyThird): would thoughtfully listen to the highlights of Ralath's opening statement. Having a magisterial background, she'd be writing down a few of his key themes as points of contention. She'd give a look to Deacon soon after he was finished before she'd begin to speak. "I share many sentiments with Ser Ralath and the Basilica in relation to the need for living a contented life with a decent quality thereof. In fact, I even find some virtues espoused by religions to be admirable. But on the topic of magical practice, dogma leads to disunity. This can be universally true in the application of the law. The idea here is that the Gods, each with their different views on moral authority don't share a strong dichotomy with man's law. And it's fine to say that the King's law wholly governs the lives of Helheim's denizens, but ideas that are antithesis to the dictates of those laws can be found within religion. To be sure, up until recently, there have been many denizens of the city who've felt oppressed by the [2021/11/07 11:37:07] ʟᴀʏᴀ ꜱᴘᴜʀɪᴜꜱ-ʀʏᴅᴇʀ (DecemberTwentyThird): application of the ideals of the Gods in relation to racial acceptance within the city. This has caused those laws affording equality of opportunity to be shirked in favor of rather foul treatment to be applied to some." she'd pause a beat and moved back to the topic at hand, "The same rules can be applied to magic when religious doctrine conflicts directly with the King's laws. For example, there is strong litigation already on the prohibition of certain magic in the city. It was authored by a council of experts to ensure proper oversight of magical practice. Most if not all degenerative magic, as it is so known, is banned within the city with the exception of certain types of necromancy that do not defile our own burial sites. So, to the question of magical practice, I would like to say that the restrictions in place are more than adequate to avoid those past failures alluded to that caused the great Cataclysm. The current dogma would go beyond the already reasonable restrictions, much as the Puritans and [2021/11/07 11:37:07] ʟᴀʏᴀ ꜱᴘᴜʀɪᴜꜱ-ʀʏᴅᴇʀ (DecemberTwentyThird): Inquisition once did, and bar any potential progress to be made scientifically." [2021/11/07 11:45:58] Deacon Iskander: found the argument the queen made to be straddling the line for the purposes of this debate, it spoke of the rules in place regarding magic and how it related to religion's place in such things, but of what benefit did she speak of? “I will permit this statement as a matter of record, though I would request Her Majesty to in the future please stringently keep to the topic presented, which was to be the costs and benefits of magical practice, Arch Paladin please address her statement and she will be permitted a rebuttal. Thank you.” Why had he agreed to this... [2021/11/07 11:51:29] Ralathos: turned to watch the Queen curiously, tilting his head slightly as he regarded her. Before he smiled as she finished her points, it was going as expected, and thus quite a big deal easier than he imagined. He shuffled his papers just to be fancy a bit, jotting down some of her points so he didn't forget them. "First of all, on the charge of the Basilica's former crimes of Oppression and Racism, a simply we are guilty will suffice. Such things have existed within the Church, they used to exist a great deal more. These days... not so much, and those who continue to deal in such things have been and will be dealt with further." He shrugged his shoulders briefly. "But to point out the flaws with your argument, it is based on many misconceptions about the Basilica. Racism is not part of our scriptures or beliefs, there is nothing in the divine texts about it. Second, as you stated in your opening statement incorrectly... the Basilica does not fear or want knowledge or scientific advancement repressed. Nor do I see [2021/11/07 11:51:30] Ralathos: any evidence what so ever that Scientific method or experimentation or advancement is counter to faith. One can have faith in the gods, and experiment with new technology and magically implementation." He glanced to the Queen again and raised a brow. "In fact, the Basilica in its teachings does not prohibit magic with its dogma, it just believes it is dangerous and needs to be controlled. Which is a view point many can agree with, hence why so many magical schools and teaching places exist. So people can learn to control magic and use it without being a danger." He sighed before he continued. "It is also a fact, that actually since the Basilica does not make the law for the city. That is it is Helheim that actually prohibits certain types of magic, and regulates it use in Helheim. NOT, the Basilica. As such, I state that you have not made any point about the actual use of magic in how its costs and dangers relate to the Basilica." He smiled faintly. "And in my experience as a Guard of this illustrious city, [2021/11/07 11:51:32] Ralathos: I can also say that any rules on the prohibition of magic that you spoke about... are not written currently into the laws of Helheim which the Guards enforce. The ONLY current law that is enforced is a magical license is required. So your point there needs some work, although I would be in favor of such laws being enacted, that would be a decision for the Crown and not the Basilica." Before he glanced to Alex and bowed his head. "That is my rebuttal." [2021/11/07 11:56:04] Deacon Iskander: watched the Arch Paladin as he gave his statement, listening to the rebuttal with a dogged intensity. If nothing else the Advisor took his role seriously, making sure things stay on track and were otherwise what he expected. The rebuttal took the path he expected, cleanly addressing the points the queen brought up without going beyond the boundaries she’d set by her statement. He’d nod his head and turn towards the Queen. “Your floor, Majesty.” said formally, respectfully. [2021/11/07 12:06:39] ʟᴀʏᴀ ꜱᴘᴜʀɪᴜꜱ-ʀʏᴅᴇʀ (DecemberTwentyThird): would defer a nod to Deacon, "Of course, Deacon." she'd say, knowing that she'd weaved just a pinch of a grievance on other issues in to circle back to the argument. She'd make no more mention of the characterization of the Basilica's more antiquated ideals and instead chose to focus on the latter parts of his statement after digesting them. "It makes for a rather sour debate when we agree on more than you might now. There is rather comprehensive litigation that does exist on the prohibition of certain types of magical applications. Mostly in terms of transduction, or how the power for spells themselves may be afforded. I would be willing to work with you, the King, the Regent and the Basilica after this debate to make sure those laws are dutifully adhered to." she'd have to concede on that point. She was actually a proponent of common-sense magical laws. "More specifically, I think our point of contention will be on the design of magical technology. I speak from personal experience when the leadership [2021/11/07 12:06:39] ʟᴀʏᴀ ꜱᴘᴜʀɪᴜꜱ-ʀʏᴅᴇʀ (DecemberTwentyThird): of your Basilica has even imposed an embargo upon my designs under the threat of protest. This is where I think our debate lies. The fusion of magic and science, in it's application will ultimately make magical use both safer and drastically increase the standard of living withing Helheim as it already has. Look around you." she'd say to the crowd and pointed towards the square, "We've conquered the dark. Heating fills the Keep, not from fires, but from magical energy. We've made devices..." as a paltry trick, she'd put her mouth to the receiver in her mechanical hand and blared the megaphone, "THAT CAN ALERT THE CITY IN TIMES OF PERIL." perhaps a cheap trick, but one that would make the use of the magitech seem at least sexier. "We have limbs to replace the hands of our soldiers. The Grand Marshal himself even wears one and so do I." she'd hold up her missing hand and wiggled the magical fingers. "So my question in rebuttal to you, Ser, is wherein comes the harm in such magical design? Do you believe in [2021/11/07 12:06:39] ʟᴀʏᴀ ꜱᴘᴜʀɪᴜꜱ-ʀʏᴅᴇʀ (DecemberTwentyThird): limits on magical technology? If not, then such protests would be an exercise in futility, would they not?" [2021/11/07 12:12:16] Deacon Iskander: found the Queen's counter point to, more-so be an agreement. If this was how the debate went it may not be as contentious as he feared. “I believe that is a fair rebuttal, surprisingly the two sides may have more in agreement then once we feared. Arch Paladin I will permit a quick response, and then the floor will be yours to discuss theism and Helheim.” [2021/11/07 12:15:19] Ralathos: smiled at the Queen, he was enjoying this, his stance was the easier one since hers was woefully outdated. "On the contrary your Majesty I am happy to take the chance to enlighten and educate you on how much you have in common with the Basilica. And how little it is getting in the way of anything." He chuckled briefly before he gestured to the Marshal, and then to her little voice amplification device thingy. "Thank you for making my point for me. The Basilica is not blocking these devices being used. Nor developed, that is why are they currently being used and developed. I myself recruited a magical construct device into the Helheim Guard recently. If the Basilica opposed this... then why would I, one of the highest ranking members of the Basilica actively encourage it hm? I think you are confusing opinion with church dogma and peoples views with facts. A common error." He sighed deeply. "In fact your continued error about the Basilica having a say in how Helheim is run continues. You do not need to work [2021/11/07 12:15:19] Ralathos: with the Basilica, just the Regent and the King to make the appropiate changes to the law to restrict magic further. You CAN include the Basilica in such talks. But you don't have too. At all." He shrugged before he gestured to the Queen. "But to make the point clearer, No I have no issue about Helheim developing stronger weapons or magical construct devices. Nor does the Basilica. Nor does "protesting" about an idea you have count as en embargo. You are the Queen, in short, no one is stopping you doing much of anything. I would appreciate if the Basilica was no longer used as an excuse when clearly it is not getting in the way of anything, as the Marshal's arm proves, as your device proves, as the latest recruit of the Guard proves. The only limits on magical technology I believe in, I don't believe are possible to exceed. You are welcome to try as much as you like, it does not bother me nor anyone of true faith. If someone in the Basilica does bother you about such... I suggest you come talk to me about [2021/11/07 12:15:20] Ralathos: it and I will deal with them." Giving her a grin. [2021/11/07 12:19:07] Deacon Iskander: as a man who was raised to respect nobility and royalty it took every part of the older man not to smack the young fellow for the attitude he displayed. Just because this was a debate and on the stage He was equal to the queen, in terms of the debate, it still wasn’t proper to be so…flippant. Not that the old man would display this beyond giving the young man a glare. “I believe that this succinctly addresses each side of this argument suitably, Arch Paladin please present the topic theism and Helheim.” [2021/11/07 12:32:55] Ralathos: glanced at Deacon and smiled faintly, a glare not bothering him much. Although he was a bit surprised the magical side was dealt with, he could of gone on more on that part. Still, he was happy to move on. "Of course." Before he moved into his opening statement of Theism and Helheim. Clearing his throat briefly before he began. "I will die in battle one day, of this I am certain. I fight for Helheim often and regularly, against people and creatures that are usually trying to kill me. I am protected only by my skill with a weapon, and well crafted, thick armour. I have no special powers, no special forms, no enhanced healing. I exist purely as you see me now, just a man." He shrugged. "It is a great comfort to me that one day, when I die in battle, that my soul will move onto the Gods, be judged, and be reborn. That is the conform and value of faith to many. If I am lucky I will die in a glorious battle making a difference, but more likely it will be just something rather simple, and if I am unlucky, not even [2021/11/07 12:32:56] Ralathos: an important battle. That is why the Basilica often appeals most to Humans, to understand that the world is more than we see. That there is more out there. Many realms exist, some creatures know this to begin with. Demons and Devils know the infernal and abyssal planes and realms well. It stands to reason that the opposite exists, Celestial and Divine realms. Humans do not have access to these, nor do we know of them save through the teachings of the Basilica usually." He frowned briefly. "The Basilica has thoughts on many things, but its actual dogma is not known to many outside it. In short, live will, die well, and the Gods will take care of your soul. But many across the land of Sincadere believe in a form of spirituality and divine. Or infernal. Same difference. My point is simple. These beliefs are integral to many peoples lives, to many peoples existances. They are a source of strength for many of us. And to those who do not live the lives of important individuals, who work, toil and suffer [2021/11/07 12:32:57] Ralathos: unnoticed. The Basilica tries to care for, to protect and to help, as do many other faiths." He glanced to the Queen then. "And that these beliefs are never going to dissipate or go away, in a world where demons, devils and celestials walk among us." Before he looked back to the crowd. "However, the Basilica is these days a small organization, of no significant power. It does not enforce things, it does not make the rules or set the standards. It might have done, but things have changed for the better. So I say that the Basilica while a part of Helheim, does not interfere with Helheim as a whole nor affect how it is run anymore. And that my honourable opponent in this debates constant references to the past when it did are nothing more than that, the past. Helheim today is a Monarch, one separated very well from the Basilica. As it should be, and as I a high ranking member of the Basilica advocate for it to remain so." He shuffled his papers then, before glancing back to Deacon. "Thank you." [2021/11/07 12:38:02] Deacon Iskander: found that for the most part the man stayed on topic, speaking of the various realms and what it meant for humans to have faith. He’d find himself nodding along with his comments, seemed reasonable to the very human and quite mortal Deacon. Though he also could not deny the power and the benefits of magic. This was a rather strange place to be, agreeing with both sides. “Your Majesty?” He’d ask politely, his eyes turning towards the queen, gesturing for her the floor for rebuttal. [2021/11/07 12:44:37] ʟᴀʏᴀ ꜱᴘᴜʀɪᴜꜱ-ʀʏᴅᴇʀ (DecemberTwentyThird): waited for Deacon's all clear before she would poke a finger against the lectern and would declare in no uncertain terms, "This is the issue with Gods. Arbitrary moral authority with no true litigation to make a proper bedrock of common understandings. The impetus of this entire debate was that your Fevren came to me and expressed explicit disapproval of magical technology and the creation of new frameworks. He'd threatened me, that my work would lead to the destruction of the city and stated that he'd actively work against my efforts of scientific advancement." she'd give him a sharp look, "This half-hearted attempt to diffuse responsibility onto me as some great lack of understanding about your tenets is categorically false. I understand everything I know about the beliefs of the Basilica directly from experience. And to shirk the fact that a collective who has influence over many in the lower city has no collective-bargaining power would also be a rather foolish notion. The actions of the church can [2021/11/07 12:44:37] ʟᴀʏᴀ ꜱᴘᴜʀɪᴜꜱ-ʀʏᴅᴇʀ (DecemberTwentyThird): directly influence policy, Ser Ralathos. The King's court is arbiters of the people. We're not potentates that are so ignorant to cloak ourselves in some sort of blinders to the suffering or cares of our people. Therefore, the actions and dogma of your church DOES have an impact on policy. However, when those tenets directly conflict with the freedoms held sacred by the law, be it against life or liberty of our countrymen, it breaks down the fabric that holds this country together. So as stated in my opening dogma leads to disunity." she'd pause a moment. To her side she could see Frederic in the crowd and she'd exhaust a long sigh. "I would urge introspection. Perhaps a council of the Basilica to address these issues into a more broad doctrine. To see citizens harm themselves over beliefs and antiquated notions of anthropo-hegemony is a direct affront to the decency and laws this society was founded upon. It was just yesterday your leadership denounced this practice. And merely a week ago they came to me [2021/11/07 12:44:37] ʟᴀʏᴀ ꜱᴘᴜʀɪᴜꜱ-ʀʏᴅᴇʀ (DecemberTwentyThird): condemning magitech development. I ask the crowd, as I end today, what do these Gods stand for? What purpose do they serve if there is no cohesive message? Are we to believe the Gods are arbitrary? Fickle? And flawed, just as we are? And, if so... Why not simply follow your own moral understandings you've collected over experience. Why not strive for immortality through invention?" she'd then give a polite bow of her head to the crowd and one too to Ralath, "Thank you again as well for all who came out today. I am glad we could talk on these matters as civilized beings and countrymen." [2021/11/07 12:50:38] Deacon Iskander: certainly didn’t blame the queen for focusing her attentions on a specific topic, it was how one won debates after all. He’d prefer that they’d kept things more generic in general, but alas this was closer to the end of the debate, “Ralathos, your floor for rebuttal. Once it is complete the queen will have her closing arguments, then you will have your own. Please remember to keep things generic towards the topics and not to name specifics…” He’d give the queen a look, appreciating her tactic if not the actual implementation of it! [2021/11/07 12:59:03] Ralathos: turned to the Queen and listened, and couldn't help but smile. It was going better than he had expected. Still, he did the best he could to remove the smile from his face for most of it. "Really? I thought this debate happened because you issued a flier saying denounce all Gods, then issued an open invitation for it to be debated. Which I took up. Also in the court yesterday, you publicly retracted the statements of that flier." Reminding everyone present of that. "I am unaware of your private conversations with Fevren, and can only advocate that he prosecuted by the law for threatening you. It is a grave crime for anyone to threaten a member of royalty. I can only say that he is an old man, many of his views are old, outdated and by the sounds of things illegal. Deal with him as you will, he does not speak for the Basilica in those matters. Merely his own views. As for your knowledge of the Basilica being based on your experiences dealing with it, again you make a point against yourself. Your experiences [2021/11/07 12:59:04] Ralathos: are limited, especially compared to someone actually a part of it. I do not tell a magic user what it is like to use magic. You are not capable of telling me what the Basilica's actual full dogma and beliefs are. Merely based on interacts with what sounds like an old man who is a relic of a former time. The modern Basilica does not have that power, nor do half of what it used too. You mentioned Inquisitors before, we no longer have them. I would be the first to oppose them, they would undermine the authority of the Guard. I cannot understand why they were allowed to begin with personally." Shrugging his shoulders once more. "But as you say, many of the Lower City do believe as the Basilica does. So I would recommend that you and I sit down and I will happily inform you more deeply of the details of those beliefs. So you can more accurately take into consideration the views of the Kingdom when you make decisions. As for a council of the Basilica... again we are a very small organization these days." He [2021/11/07 12:59:05] Ralathos: sighed deeply. "Although, on your final point of immortality through invention... I am curious why we would seek that? If that is what you seek then so be it. But many are quite comfortable with their own mortality. I have no issue with my inevitable death, it unites me with all those who have lived and died before me. I think a better focus would be invention and innovation for a better defended Helheim and a better quality of life. Rather than an artificial extended one personally." He looked to Deacon and nodded. [2021/11/07 13:03:54] Deacon Iskander: would simply blink at the man's statement, did he just say the leader of the Basilica didn’t SPEAK for the Basilica? It took most of Deacon's self-control not to comment on that, moderators after-all were not intended to regulate that part of it. He’d simply raise his eyebrows and gesture to the queen. “Your highness, your closing arguments for this debate please...” How in the world would they put a closer after THAT proclamation? [2021/11/07 13:19:43] ʟᴀʏᴀ ꜱᴘᴜʀɪᴜꜱ-ʀʏᴅᴇʀ (DecemberTwentyThird): didn't look ruffled in the slightest by the rebuttal, she'd smile back. Truly, she'd gotten everything she'd desired. For her it was never about their Gods, but it was completely about the embargo. And the man just denounced Fevren publicly! She'd smile back big enough before she'd look to the crowd. "You've heard it here today, folks. Some of the Basilica's supposed leadership espouses beliefs differing to the core message that Ser Ralathos endorses today. The only just verdict would be that dogma leads to disunity. When moral dictates, arbitrarily peddled by the supposed Gods are left to the interpretation of individuals the only product can be injustice, oppression, and lawlessness. I came here today to simply propose an alternative. Should one eschew such theological studies, there would hardly be a need to attempt to enforce any brand of morality other than the King's law. For, as Ser Ralathos concedes, that is and should be the standard for right and wrong." with a flippant wave, "In short, I [2021/11/07 13:19:43] ʟᴀʏᴀ ꜱᴘᴜʀɪᴜꜱ-ʀʏᴅᴇʀ (DecemberTwentyThird): actually rather like the Basilica that Ralathos proposes. In fact, I would be the first to champion him as a paragon of what this New Basilica should embody. For, it's a Basilica that allows for the expression of Free Will without any foreseeable restrictions that would be antithesis to the King's laws. In short, I would be glad to sit down with him and learn about their specific teachings. As expressed before, I truly only speak from my personal experience. And, my personal experience is that the religion was prejudicial in some aspects that disallowed free choice. Dogma has caused disunity. As it has for centuries with the continuing war between the celestial Gods of the JLE and the dark Gods of the Cabbala. And so I say to that.. Free will is the logical alternative. So when you return home today, people of Helheim, friends, nobles, and honored guests, it's my encouragement to rely on your own strength of arm and heart and brain to react to life's adversities. To rely on arbitrary disembodied Gods is [2021/11/07 13:19:43] ʟᴀʏᴀ ꜱᴘᴜʀɪᴜꜱ-ʀʏᴅᴇʀ (DecemberTwentyThird): tantamount to defeat. Lift yourself up. Use science and understanding to empower yourself. Use ingenuity to solve problems rather than waiting for something else to solve them for you. May invention bless you all with keen minds. Thank you." [2021/11/07 13:26:59] Deacon Iskander: narrowed his eyes to both members of the debate, feeling like he’d missed an underhanded agreement of some sort, and he’d be extremely blunt in his statement. “The Basilica, under it’s current leadership was granted approval by the King, and this forum and debate will with all due respect your Majesty, not be the place to advocate for any changes. Period. Furthermore, Arch Paladin it is unseemly for a member of the order to publicly denounce his own leadership while representing the very body he leads. I would remind you both that I agreed to moderate this debate in the context of the generic debate of topics, not crimes, or people, or specific bodies. Arch Paladin please state your closing comments, and I remind you again to keep it on topic and not stray into current politics or situations.” He’d give the queen a rather cold look, not pleased to have his name dragged into such a blatant stunt. [2021/11/07 13:32:13] Ralathos: watched the hubub and rabble rabble response from the crowd and had to use a fair amount of self control to hide his amusement. Looking to Deacon and bowing his head. "Of course, I was merely responding to the alarming accusations from the Queen brought up here today." Before he continued. "Allow me to clarify. The Basilica has one purpose and one purpose only in Helheim as I see it. To tend to reverence of the Four, and to care and protect those in need. Any deviation from this path is stepping outside of the Basilica's sacred duty and irrelevant to the path of faith. Helheim is beset by many problems and adversities. Faith has purpose, it helps people deal with these problems. I believe it gives me the strength, a mortal man. To cross blades and battle demons that are centuries or millenia older than myself. And triumph, as I have done." He smiled faintly. "It gives support and comfort to those struggling without much, and in need of spiritual guidance. Those who wish to help the poor, the suffering, those [2021/11/07 13:32:14] Ralathos: who are preyed upon by demons or worse. Those who fall victim to Necromancers, those who hex, curse, and enchant innocent souls. That is the purpose of the Basilica. Any wishing to help in that sacred mission are welcome within the embrace of the Basilica. And that sacred purpose should continue within Helheim, it is important. And not one that can be performed by the Guard of Helheim solely, who are busy dealing with very real threats. Spiritual comfort, spiritual aid and divine worship are a right the people of Helheim should and can enjoy. The exploration of the divine realm through study, is a worthy endevor. Dedicating ones life to these pursuits and helping people is a worthy endevor. Nor does it conflict with one of science. After all, it is very possible to help those in need through such new advancements. However, magic is a threat, and should be controlled. Either through schooling or by law. The Basilica supports such action. And any wishing to help those in need, such as the many who live in [2021/11/07 13:32:15] Ralathos: Lower Helheim who do not enjoy the comforts of the Upper district. Well... there is a path to do so within the Basilica. Thank you all for your time." [2021/11/07 13:35:30] Deacon Iskander: shook his head a bit and spread his arms wide. "With that closing statement I conclude this Debate. I thank all of those in attendance for joining us here, please do stop by all local stores and establishments for all your needs. May your paths be safe, fair well." He'd give a nod to those in attendance before gripping the dais quietly, conflicted by the end for certain. But at least it was done. [2021/11/07 13:41:06] ʟᴀʏᴀ ꜱᴘᴜʀɪᴜꜱ-ʀʏᴅᴇʀ (DecemberTwentyThird): truly, was an old, old elf. And by the last word issued by Ralath, she'd be yawning and grasping at the air next to her, as if classically conditioned, in her desire for wine. But when it was all done, she'd give Deacon a friendly pat on her way to Ralath, "Thanks again for hosting this. I know I cause you undue suffering sometimes, dear Deacon, but I do it from a place of love for the people." she'd tease him before she'd go towards Ralathos and offered out a hand, "I think I have much to lobby the King for in terms of the Basilica. I found it quite enlightening. Truly, when I say we should have a talk sometime about magical law, I mean it sincerely. I am glad to have your clarity to know I can work on my experiments without meddling." she'd say with a big earnest smile. That's all she'd desired. "You're an honorable man, Ser Ralathos, and a talented debater." she'd add, before she'd give a wave to Aigie, Sammy, Vaeros, and Yuuma, "Love you all, thanks for coming out today. We'll talk soon." she'd [2021/11/07 13:41:06] ʟᴀʏᴀ ꜱᴘᴜʀɪᴜꜱ-ʀʏᴅᴇʀ (DecemberTwentyThird): promise before also addressing the guards, "Thank you all for keeping this civil too. I saw your hard work down there. You are the real reason we can have these talks." she'd insist before noting Frederic, "Ah Frederic. Everything alright?" [2021/11/07 13:51:38] Ralathos: stepped down from the podium, quite pleased how that all went. After all it was exactly what he had hoped for, a chance to try and refocus the Basilica's efforts onto more serious matters. He moved up as the Queen approached and smiled briefly, bowing his head. "Your Majesty." Bringing his gaze up and regarding her. "I am pleased to hear so, I think I got the better of you in the magical topic. But I cannot deny the lack of unity in the church, perhaps that will change in time. I will be curious to hear the proposals you bring to the King about the future of the Basilica. As for the Basilica though, I will make sure it continues to work where it counts, helping those in need. A new shrine has already been opened up to welcome those of different faiths to worship in the Lower City. Progress I think." He chuckled briefly before he glanced to the crowd. "But I think you have other matters to deal with. And I have a meeting with the Guard to attend too. Although... if wish to speak to the Guard about Fevren and [2021/11/07 13:51:39] Ralathos: this "threatening" you incident, you are very welcome too. As you said yesterday in regards to the Empire. You should not tolerate disrespect in your own home." Bowing his head once more. "By your leave then?" Before he glanced to Frederic and frowned. "Do we? And as I said, I have a meeting with the Guard to attend." Sighing a little as he stepped towards the edge of the stage. [2021/11/07 13:55:44] Deacon Iskander: managed to give a wan smile to the queen at her pat and her comment, being a vassal to the King made him at times at odd with the queen, she was his wife and he respected her title if not her personage at times. But her sway over the king was far more then his own, and that was quite simply that. "I live to serve." Would be the reply given as a matter of habit, with little denoted in the tone. The words spoken near him were taken in quietly, and he would rest on the dais as he watched the goings on of the people around him. Such was the life. Fide Et Sacrificum. As reported by GGN Goblin Gossip Network. The Multifarious Monthly Review makes no claims that the Goblin GOSSIP Network is a reliable news source. Articles are posted with minor edits for spelling and grammar but not reviewed for content. The Multifarious Monthly Review does not accept any financial burden that results in the GGN's reporting practices. It is with a heavy heart that the Goblin Gossip Network reports another fatal interview in the Cabbala. Snetch Junior joins his father in the great beyond, advancing his beautiful assistant to the rank of journalist. Snetchalina has prepared a statement on taking this position. "Reporting alive from the bowels of the Cabbala, in the presence of a very much living Shyn, is... me... Snetchalina, the latest GGN reporter in her trial by fire. My predecessor has been disemboweled for his folly and I will definitely not be reporting anything further about the Cabbala's powerful denizens!" In order to ensure journalistic integrity, we immortalized the exchange in the form of descriptive writing, beautifully captured by Snetchalina before her appointment to journalist! . . . A few days had passed since Omako had spoken with Shyn about correcting a little problem her father had with the preposterous rumors concerning the shade being eaten by Vaeros. Absurd. Reputable sources indeed. Worse, was there were people in the realm dumb enough to believe anything reported by the Multifarious Monthly Review. The goblins needed yet another lesson in fact-checking their sources and taking care in whose name they threw around in their articles. Of course, the author had to be found first, and why not flush them out with a letter to the editor....
--------------------------- To the Editor of the Goblin Gossip Network, I am concerned with the complete and utter lack of care this network has shown in reporting facts to your valued readers. I can provide undeniable proof that Shyn has NEVER been consumed by the Great Red Wyrm, Vaeros. If you value the reputation of being a reliable and trusted source of news, then I implore you to meet with me to get the real story. If you refuse, I will take this proof to the Kabuki-Cats, and personally pay them to make a make a mockery of your entire organization. Signed Furious and Concerned Assistant ---------------------------- Another note is slipped in the envelope with the letter to the editor, providing a location to meet. Oooooh. Shyn would be quietly running his fingers over the tools assorted over the table, a room rented specifically for the purposes of this meeting. His business away from Sincadere had kept the shade away from the Cabbala, but He was not so disinterested in his reputation to have it equated to nothing more then a light snack for the neighborhood gluttonous red lizard. His dear daughter, whom few knew as such, had promised to deliver the author to him, and Shyn had recommended that she insist on them sending another writer with the offending party, for interests of objectivity you see, as well as making it clear that she should not mention or behave in a manner that would suggest their familial relation. He wondered how a goblin might react to seeing their insides.....maybe he'd find out. Whatever the result, he would be adamant about sending a message to this "news service" about using his name in any capacity He didn't approve of. For now, it was a waiting game for the shade. M Noteworthy was getting tired of people assuming the Goblins ran the Multifarious Monthly Review. On getting the letter from Furious and Concerned, M Noteworthy order the Goblin 'reporter' brought to the location included in the envelope... along with his assistant to record what transpired. Snetch Jr, the goblin, nervously slicked his hand through his hair while his assistant, also a goblin, straightened her pencil skirt. Shit was about to get real. He wasn't even sure why he'd agreed to meet this person... or how he'd gotten there. Maybe he'd been mind controlled?! Omako waited at the appointed place, a semi-secluded place along the Silk Road between the Tusk Camp and Helheim. The ki-rin had of course disguised herself in her human form to ensure that she would avoid having herself associated with the shade. The pair had taken great care in ensuring few knew of their true relationship. When the pair of goblins arrived, they'd find 'Eleanor' waiting. She appeared unassuming enough, just a simple human woman dressed in modest simple clothing. Pretty, but not so much to draw much attention. Someone that would be easy to forget moments after meeting them. No one ever really paid much mind to servants and assistants. "Thank you for agreeing to meet with me. " The woman spoke in a calm, quiet voice, with her hands folded meekly in front of her to seem even less threatening. "I apologize for the harshness of my letter, but I had to ensure that you would be willing to meet with me." While she talked, shadows began to loom in behind the pair of goblins, sliding along the ground and moving slowly. "I felt it was important for the people to know the truth." She'd continue while those shadows began to rise up behind them, taking on the shapes of clubs to bash the pair on the back of the heads. For...easier transportation of course. Shyn would look up when the Kirin, or rather the human disguised woman, brought in the two goblins. Was one of them wearing a skirt? No matter. Little time would be wasted as one was strung up on a makeshift cross, the other sat in a chair with a good view, their legs were bound, but they would be able to grab their notes and write easily enough. When they awoke they'd be granted a vision of the tall dark and brooding shade, alive and well, with bright and blazing blue eyes. "I hear that I've died." Would be the whispered tone that tickled their ears, the bound one might notice he had been made shirtless, and that the table in front of the cross was covered in implements of torture. Snetch barely had time to register an 'Oh shit," before pain thudded on the back of his head and the world went dark. He repeated the sentiment when he woke, bound to a cross, and saw with whom he was meeting. The beautiful goblin assistant dutifully pulled her parchment and magical quill from somewhere and began taking notes. Snetch swallowed heavily and once again said, "oh shit," while tearing his gaze away from Shyn and looking around. "Uh... do you take bribes? I would very much like to not die in the Cabbala like my predecessor and I have valuables I can trade. You can have my assistant???" He glanced at the assistant who was glaring at him and mutter, "what?!" The 'human' remained off to the side, seemingly checking over various tools of torture to reinforce the very role she had proposed in her letter. She had let her eyes turn black however just to further add to her cover, as if she was under the shade's influence. Perhaps even, this had all been arranged by Shyn. At least that was what she wanted the goblin assistant to believe. "Would you like to begin with the skinning knife or the shears?" When Shyn sneered it looked to most to just be a minor pressing of his lips together, and a slight exhalation of disapproval. To those that knew him it was quite a statement. "I do not take bribes, and who is to say we are in the Cabbala? You won't be alive to find out, this is not for you. Your fate has been decided by me, I'll start with the shears." He'd take the implement in his hand and look towards the assistant. "Depending on how well you write, which I will insist on approving before you send to your editor, you may find a favorable comment on the journalistic practices of your....review." Taking the shears he'd move to the goblins hand, carefully place a finger below the knuckle join, and apply just enough pressure to let out some blood, but no further letting him squirm a bit. "Firstly I hope you make it known that it is of utmost importance to me that any reporting to be done on me be verified with me......going forward." The shears would snap shut, with a sickening snap as the sharp implement rended flesh and bone. Snetch was screaming before the shears event touched his skin, it was an incomprehensible mix of common, orcish and goblin but the gist was pretty clear... he was terrified and begging for his life. The assistant watched, wide eyed, scribbling furiously and simply swallowed heavily and nodded at Shyn. She barely even blinked when a splatter of blood sprayed across her face and the parchment she was writing on. This wasn't her first rodeo, so to speak, she'd watched Snetch senior be devoured by the Hound. When the shears snapped shut Snetch let out a howl and immediately lost consciousness, the abrupt silence a stark contrast to his blabbering fear. A heart beat later he regained consciousness and went into a long continuous wail that seemed impossible... somehow he was wailing while breathing in as well as out! The screams were like a beautiful symphony to her ears, though the disguised ki-rin betrayed no reaction upon her features. She stood stoic and impassive to the plight of the goblin that was understandably freaking out. Her face remained vacant, eyes swirling with shadows. When she stepped forward to walk behind the goblin assistant, she made her movements stiff like a puppet being tugged along by unseen strings. Once behind the assistant, she'd loom over the female goblin's shoulder to peer down at the parchment. "Mind your words." She made her voice hollow and emotionless. "They may be your last if you anger him if he must waste time with too many revisions." Her hand rose, settling gently on the assistant's head in a mockery of a soothing gesture. "Best to get it right the first time, no?" The shade was not terribly impressed with the goblins composure, yes having ones limbs sheared was painful, but it was far from the worst thing. It was fast, immediately, then dull. Normally he'd bother himself with staunching the blood from the finger, but well....given the hyper condition of the subject the once kingpin didn't delude himself into thinking that he'd last very long. "So, one with the quill, tell me what you intend to write to repair my sullied reputation?" Shyn would set the sheers down quietly, and pick up the skinning knife, admiring the sharpness of the blade. "Now, normally I do not do this sort of thing unless I am acquiring worthy specimens. But in your case I will make an exception. Did you know that various cultures find the internal organs of a creature are worth their weight in silver, or gold, or jewels if one is so fortunate? Normally I take my time, and care, in removing such things, but alas I am not here to make money, or even to entertain myself with your screams. I am here to make a short and brutal point. I prefer to operate out of the limelight, I care NOT to see my name in the papers at all. BUT if it must be known, then I prefer it be in the ALIVE and well category. My clients do not take lightly news of my demise, and you have caused me no small amount of irritation. Irritating me has.....what might be considered repercussions no?" With the now writing assistant left to watch as her boss was carved up, skin being flayed, longer organs being removed and shown to her boss, and other demeaning things to his body, she would perhaps be left to wonder if the man was a maniac. But throughout his speech he was cold, calculating, and unfeeling. His words while having heft and passion in them were spoken in the soft and whispered manner of an older teacher. Perhaps a set of contradictions this dark skinned and cold man. Snetch Junior was not doing well. The sight of Shyn's next tool and the words that came with it, made the goblin lose consciousness again. His secretary, however, was far more composed (or at least wrote that she was more composed). "I only write what I see," she managed to stammer out. "I don't write the news part, just the descriptions," even as she spoke she continued to write. Sitting a little straighter she clears her throat, "perhaps sir would like to tell me what to write?" Omako tsked softly at how quickly Snetch faded into unconsciousness again. No wonder goblins were at the low end of the totem pole amongst the orcs if only a little finger snipping was enough to undo the creature. Still, she understood that the goblin was ultimately doomed. It was the lasting impact on the assistant that would prove important. Her hands fell on the assistant's shoulders from behind, fingers digging in just hard enough to be painful, but not draw blood. Yet. "Your bosses' paper has put his reputation in doubt." Her voice was cold, no longer that vacant haunted echo of the disguise she'd been presenting so far just to add further confusion. "I am certain a clever goblin like you can think of something. Or do you require further demonstrations?" Shyn stood there thoughtfully, leather gloves covered in the entrails and viscera of a disemboweled goblin, he was rather upset the creature wasn't even aware to see his own intestines. Oh well. Placing the greenskins intestine in his hand, just in case he should wake up, he'd turn to watch Omako's coldly speaking to the female. He'd raise his hand. "No no, it is wise for her to inquire what I wish for her to write. As I said, if things are to be written about me I would prefer to have input, if not straight ... instruction or even not to write at all. In this case I would demand that a correction be stated, that I am very much alive, and insinuate.....that the previous writer met with an unfortunate demise for printing something about me that was not approved. Do you think you are capable of doing such?" He didn't want to come out and say "Shyn killed the idiot for printing nonsense about him" but He did want that idea planted nonetheless. "Oh, and do send me an advanced copy before printing....in case some revisions are needed." The manner He said that was unsettling as he cleaned the knife. Snetch's beautiful assistant wasn't about to leave anything to chance. She leaned over the parchment already containing the bulk of the exchange between them. Glancing at Snetch's body she swallows heavily and begins to write. She wasn't a reporter! She was the person who wrote down what took place! After a moment she sat up and read out, "reporting alive from the bowels of the Cabbala, in the presence of a very much living Shyn, is... me... Snetchalina, the latest GGN reporter in her trial by fire. My predecessor has been disemboweled for his folly and I will definitely not be reporting anything further about the Cabbala's powerful denizens!" Omako nodded her head slowly even though she tsked faintly in annoyance, eyes darkening for a few moments even if only Shyn could see them. She had taken on the role of assisting the shade, even leaving it questionable if the 'human' was doing so of her own free will or was being controlled through dark magic. After-all, the goal was to ensure Shyn's reputation. When Snetchalina read the report out loud, she hummed in consideration. "Hm. Disemboweled... I suppose such a threat will discourage further misrepresentation in the future. But... is it enough? Will others in your little organization take this warning to heart?" Shyn was feeling in a rather dramatic mood, and would stab the knife into the table to stand upright as a warning. "I would strongly encourage that your column do well to remember that unlike most organizations the Cabbala does not like to be......commented upon in a fashion that makes us known. You may indeed post such a simplistic account and you will find that it will not bring me to your doorstep. But I will hold you personally responsible if my name is printed without my direct permission." He'd gesture to Omako to let the journalist go. "I hope never to see you again."
As reported by Sin Today. The Multifarious Monthly Review makes ABSOLUTE claims that Sin Today is a reliable news source. Unlike a certain goblin publication. Articles are posted with minor edits for spelling and grammar but not reviewed for content. The Multifarious Monthly Review still does not accept any financial burden that results in Sin Today's reporting practices.
This reporter has an EXCLUSIVE news break! Our top reporter, Walter Kronk'ite, Dwarf Reporter Extraordinaire, has found evidence of the nefarious plot from Tzelchan, the one responsible for the red mist, and All Hallow's Sin. We bring pages from the personal diary of Tzelchan itself.* Transcription below the pages depicted. * The contents of this diary may not be suitable for younger audiences, and those that have a delicate stomach.
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Transcribed:
Dear Diary, It is the day after All Hallow’s Sin, and I feel like a new man! (tear stains near this part, perhaps of joy?) Though things didn't go as well as I had originally planned, in the end, I was able to escape that infernal jawbone. Though I can’t return to that realm, the veil will thin again next year, and I can have revenge against those that dared resist, and those that killed, AGAIN, my dracolich, my dearest mount, my beloved Char'ierth. (writing becomes scribbled, as if emotional) My plan was perfect! Millenia of planning within that jawbone, laying in wait for someone to find it, all for it to be scattered to the winds by those pesky mortals, who wanted nothing more than to ‘hunt monsters’. Bah! Little did they know, that’s what I wanted! Those idiots! But they weren’t supposed to kill Char’ierth. He was my friend, my companion in the old days, where we would subjugate all in our path. We ruled my kingdom with an iron fist, as any sorcerer-god-king and his pet dragon should. Damned mortals. (writing clears up) But in the end, I am free of that realm. I am free to travel and become great once again. I am no longer a shadow of my former self, a disjoined spirit traveling from one body to the next, trying to find that perfect host. I had first come upon some asian man, who couldn’t put a bottle of drink down to save his life. His alcoholism even bled through my possession! (Daichi) Then there was the red demoness who sparkled and helped my lieutenants. She was a bit much to handle. (Terra) But then...I found this glorious body. Some homeless wretch that had taken too much opium, and no one cared. He was so empty of life, that his body had become the perfect vessel for me. I keep looking in the mirror, admiring this new body. He is perfect. He will hold my vast spirit, and oh the things the mortals take for granted. Food! Sex, Drugs! The pleasure of women’s flesh once again. I have missed the feeling of how a woman’s flesh parts slowly at the deft skill of my hands, it is such a unique tactile sensation, as flesh parts before my knife, as if a shirt were being unbuttoned. Blood spilling out like goodies from a stuffed party animal that you hit with a stick. I missed the pleasures of a woman’s flesh… But I digress, diary. My plan. I needed energy. Emotional, magical, or any kind of energy I could get my spectral hands on. The easiest for my goals was emotional and magical energy. The people of Sincadere were rife with both. I didn’t care for those monsters. I needed its inhabitants to fight them, become emotionally charged. Use their magics. And all the while I would collect it, store it, use it and my red mist till I had enough that I could break free. AND THEY FELL FOR IT! All Hallow’s Sin Trick! Not Treat, though the idiots thought they were winning. They would defeat the monsters, whether carrots, forest spirit, demon, or undead, and stand over them like conquesting victors. The fools. It all culminated in my party. MY party. I needed a room, and the mist provided. I needed slaves to serve my needs and whims, and the mist provided. I needed food and… well the slaves provided, but the mist provided the slaves. All so we could celebrate the one thing in the realm that I was unwilling to do alone….ME!!!! With the energy and powers at my disposal, I brought the mortals to me, no matter of rank or file. They were all there, and all eyes were on me, as they should be. And it went splendidly. Party revelers seemed to even get into the festivities, despite having been kidnapped. People ate, drank, and danced. I had even danced with the woman who was headmistress of their pathetic college of magic. She was supposed to be THE magical force in Sincadere, but when I danced with her, and her marvelous boobs, that were hanging out I need to note, she didn’t seem to have as much magic as I had hoped to siphon. She claimed denying/blocking me from her magic, but you and I both know, diary, nothing is barred to me. The party was in full swing. Slaves were being used, people were dancing, deals were being made (like they would matter in the end), and people mingled. The energy was charged with emotion, though admittedly, I had hoped I would have to break up a fight. Once I had siphoned from her the last bit of energy I needed, I addressed them all in typical villain fashion. I played the part gloriously. I still think back and almost want to giggle like a schoolgirl. I finished my ritual, and I was FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I left that realm immediately, and I am here now, basking in the afterglow. I wish this new realm had tobacco, I’d smoke it after the railing I gave to Sincadere. Either way, it is time to accumulate my power. Gather a new army. And perhaps next year, when the veil thins again for All Hallow’s Sin, I’ll return once again to that land. This time with an army at my back… |
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