Dear Miss Scarlet, How do you tell if someone likes you? I have this cat that will NOT leave me alone. She even posted a Sinder profile with a picture of both of us and said no one was allowed to touch me. Does that mean I'm married? Should I tell her there's no such thing as a half-goblin and that any children she has will be full on goblins? Nah, forget it, she'll figure it out. I've never had kids before, that I know of, I hope she doesn't want me to be involved. Do you have any suggestions for cat-repellent? Yours truly, Pawsitively perplexed. Dear Pawsitively Perplexed, First, let me thank you for the extremely colourful letter. It was almost like you couldn't decide on which wax coloring stick to use and decided to use all of them. To the meat of your query, I would say that yes, your feline belle is indeed quite interested in you. Many women have a manner of flirting that one could describe as aggressively signaling availability which can become quite possessive, particularly when they believe their feelings are not being reciprocated. In the absence of any mutual declaration I would say that at this point you are not yet formally married as such, though she seems to be very commitment minded. I did a bit of research on goblinoid reproductive habits and you are quite correct that half-goblins are a very rare occurrence as your ancestry has a striking manner of assertion over a zygote. For this as well as the rest of the issues raised in your missive my advice boils down to three things: communication, communication, communication! It's plain you have yet to address many of the matters plaguing you with her personally and I think a good sit down to clear the air is needed. Before that can happen to any effect, you must decide exactly how you feel about her and any future you might have. I sense some notes of reluctance in your letter and if you have any reservations it is better that you express them clearly and succinctly. As to your request for a medicinal remedy, I would suggest a compounded essence of actinidia polygama, commonly known as Silver Vine, which can be prepared by any alchemist of repute. Cheers and best of luck! Dear Miss Scarlet,
I am a recently widowed woman and though I may be a bit older, I still feel I am in my prime. It's only been a year since my husband's passing and I still grieve. I am not sure that I am ready yet to entertain dating a new beau, but I still have needs. Until fairly recently I had been taking care of matters myself but I was recently given a publication entitled "The Benefits and Dangers of Female Self-Pleasure." In it is a passage that mentions the possibilities of loss of pleasure and even increased pain of childbirth. I am still young enough to have another husband and even bear children and I don't want to take a chance on losing that or making it worse. How can I possibly avoid this fate while still taking care of my needs? - Hesitant in Helheim Dear Hesitant, Thank you for writing in seeking advice, it is always a pleasure to be able to help someone seeking to get back into life after a tragic loss. On a personal note, I myself have been in your position before, having survived four husbands to date. They just don't make them like they used to. As to the subject of your inquiry, I myself was not familiar with the publication you referenced but was able to find a copy around the offices of the Multifarious Monthly Review. I was not overly impressed with the contents and assertions therein, as they reflect an outdated view on the nature of feminine self pleasure and of women in general. Being a healthy female in her reproductive prime, you should have no fears of negative repercussions from any reasonable act of self pleasure and, if in doubt, I would trust the word of a proper midwife of repute over that of any religious figure that, quite frankly, sounds like they have not handled a vulva in a hound's age. I have included for you a free copy of my own publication "101 Ways to go Fuck Yourself: A Manual of Self-Love" which addresses the matter in more detail and should provide more than ample examples and suggestions to get you going again. Until next time dear readers, I remain -Miss Scarlet Comments are closed.
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