"Infernal Love" with Miss Scarlet "Dear Miss Scarlet, I am at a loss for what to do. Everywhere I turn I am confronted by these stereotypes of elves as sluts, and fit only to be slaves. I see the looks, hear the snide comments. Why just the other day I ventured into the caves of the Cabbala and they even have a tavern called The Bound Elf! I pointed out how offensive that is but the locals only laughed and ridiculed me! How can I get them to understand that elves are an ancient, noble, proud people deserving of respect and admiration (letter truncated for publication)" - Signed, Pointy Eared Tree Hugger Dear Pointy Eared Tree Hugger - I am at a bit of a loss here as your letter has little to do with advice in matters of love or lust, but a seventeen page diatribe on the treatment of elves is a cry for help if I ever saw one. You also failed to sign with an anonymous pen name so I have chosen one for you. First, let me just state that I understand just what you mean and it's a tragedy. Too many elves believe these fairy tales about being noble, respectable creatures and it inevitably causes a shock when they are confronted with reality. Have you considered exploring your naturally submissive prey-beast instincts? I find a good session of bondage and discipline usually brings it right out. I am going to send you references to a few orc tribes looking for snaga and some slavers in various realms as you did not mention where you are located or I would come for you myself. Remember, a collared elf is a happy elf! "Dear Miss Scarlet,
I have been happily married to my husband for almost two decades now and we have an idyllic life farming. We have one child that has come of age and is making their own way in the world now. I feel like this should be our golden years together, but I suspect my husband is cheating on me. I have found geisha makeup on some of his clothes and strange perfume, and he's always running off to the tea house without me. I don't want to leave him, yet what can I do? Should I confront him?" - Signed, Jilted in Jade Lotus. Dear Jilted, sadly this is something I hear all too often. Give them your best years and children and they are only too ready to step out on you with someone else. I have some solid advice for you though. Get a large glass or pottery jar and place in it a lock of your husband's hair, fingernail clippings, an article of clothing or small item like a wedding ring, and any blood or semen you can collect. Add some broken glass, bent nails, leaves and berries of Belladonna and Foxglove, some of your own urine, and seal the jar. Place it somewhere and focus your hatred on the jar. Yell at it and shake it up daily, call it by your husband's name, blame it for everything he does wrong. After a few weeks of doing this, bury the jar somewhere he is likely to walk over regularly, or place under his side of the bed. You will see results swiftly. That's all for this edition of Infernal Love with Miss Scarlet! Write me with your questions and concerns of matters on Love and Lust. ((To submit a letter to Infernal Love please reach out to Fevren or Pet in Second Life or Discord)) As reported by GGN Goblin Gossip Network SCANDAL RAVAGES THE BLACK TUSK TRIBE! The Gorgun declares his displeasure over the incompetence of the goblins who MISPRINTED a Meatgrindah Card! The misprinted card is declared worthless but some avid collectors jealously guard this misprint, sure that it will go up in value. In other news, Rukbah the Dragonslayer will be holding another session of Gobbos and Gorguns. Will our intrepid adventurers survive the encounter with the dreaded black dragon Gaeros? Will Pet the Orc overcome her fear of daddy-dragon? How will we explain Horngore's new wings? The Black Tusk Tribe will also be participating in the Summer Festival held... TOMORROW (Saturday) starting at 10am SLT. You will be able to purchase our famed mushrooms, official Meatgrindah cards, and Meat Beetles. The Great and Glorious Gaboon and the mostly impressive Rukbah will be refereeing the tournament MEATGRINDAH STYLE! Also, everyone knows that Tusk slaves are the best slaves, so buy our slaves at the market. SPECIAL REPORT: The VILE CATS in the booth next to the Black Tusk booth at the Summer Festival have DEFILED our SACRED MEAT BEETLES! WITH BOWS!
Okay, they're kinda cute. But don't tell the cats. "Infernal Love" with Miss Scarlet Sincadere's Advice column for matters of Love and Lust. "Dear Miss Scarlet - Roark's snaga no look at Roark same way no more. Roark think best mate Ugrall is go behind back while Roark out on hunt. Ugrall has mighty smug grin lately. Should Roark smash?" - Signed, Definitely-Not-Roark Dear Definitely-Not-Roark, first of all, thank you for writing me for advice and second of all, whomever you got to write that letter for is doing you no favors; it took me the better part of an afternoon to translate. Now, onto the meat of your query. Have you been having some difficulties in the furs with that snaga perhaps? Things getting a little dry and boring? That's usually the number one cause of unfaithful slaves, in my experience. Yes indeed, I feel you should absolutely smash, but not in the way you are thinking. I think you need to have a talk with Ugrall AND this snaga and get it all out in the open, but not in a hostile way. Why be sneaking behind each other's backs when you can be having delightful Devil's Threeways every night? You should both team up and spitroast that little grass-eater till her eyes are permanently crossed! (I am assuming your snaga is Elven, please pardon if not.) Dear Miss Scarlet - I'm having such a time with my beau. He is charming, handsome, supportive, and a delight to be around, he does light up my life. But every time we get intimate in bed, he thinks it's the most erotic thing to just hammer at my cervix like a dwarf with a pickaxe. That hurts like hell and I don't like it, but I can't get him to understand this. What can I do?
- Signed, Legs-Crossed in Helheim Dear Legs-Crossed in Helheim, first of all my condolences on the beau's less than pleasureful performances in the sack. This is quite a common difficulty I have encountered with many relationships and I'm sad to say that probably about ninety percent of the dick-bearing creatures I have trysted with seem to think that taking a battering ram to the gates of a lady's womb is some sort of devastatingly erotic maneuver. Try as I might, I can't educate them all to the facts of the matter. My suggestions would be as follows: Get yourself a spiked pessary and slip it in before a session of love making, and give him a nasty surprise when he ventures too deep. A touch of basilisk's venom to paralyze but not render him unconscious could provide a perfect teachable moment for a lecture on how to properly please a lady. Failing that, I suggest you develop a taste for lesbian encounters, as most of the rest of the boys out there (I'm looking at you) seem convinced this is a pleasureful experience. That's all for this edition of Infernal Love with Miss Scarlet! Write me with your questions and concerns of matters on Love and Lust. ((To submit a letter to Infernal Love please reach out to Fevren or Pet in Second Life or Discord)) As reported by GGN Goblin Gossip Network
BREAKING NEWS FROM THE GOBLIN GOSSIP NETWORK Sophia Ryder returns to the Black Tusk camp after an unintentional vacation in the Cabbala. After the Gobbos and Gorguns event on the 7th, the lich was attacked! Goblins in her presence valiantly tried to save her but alas, were unsuccessful. In completely unrelated news, Vince the Gobbo is slated for execution on the command of the Gorgun. Dave the Gobbo will be playing the role of Vince as Vince previously died twice on the 7th and the Gorgun is not to be disappointed under any circumstances. The Meatgrindah is picking up in popularity and so we will be holding TWO of them each day that we usually hold them. One will take place in the morning and one in the evening. Champions will be named "Meatgrindah Dusk Champion" and "Meatgrindah Dawn Champion". Speaking of the Meatgrindah, there has been a rise in COUNTERFEIT Meatgrindah cards. Make sure to visit the Black Tusk Camp to obtain your certificate of authenticity for a very reasonable price. The Multifarious Monthly Review is seeking "Nomad" and "Cabbala" writers to join the team. If you think you have what it takes to report on the nefarious goings ons in your respective areas, then let us know!
You will not be handsomely compensated. And there is a chance that one of the rulers of Sincadere will take exception to what you report, which may put you in mortal danger... but... you'll get great exposure! Some time ago, our gracious king sent an expedition to the strange lands that appeared off the coast of Helheim. Where did they come from? Why? HOW? There were rumours of evil creatures being summoned by a group known as the Order of Maldeb. This nefarious order tricked our population into participating in a fracturing of our magical leylines. Portals to other realms opened out of our control, one to a place so demonic that even our brave Black Tusks fear to tread.
This misuse of magic uncovered a cavern, one lost to time until the explosion that opened these portals. The king's expedition found it and discovered a long lost message... a PROPHESY... left by the founders of my order, The Basilica. May Mikhail the Unyielding grant you all leniency when your day of reckoning arrives... for it may arrive far sooner than you think. I hold in my hand the translated work of the Prophesy, painstakingly gathered by the King's loyal servants and diligently deciphered by myself. From the enslaved populace, songs, Chants and demands While princes and lords are held captive in prisons. These will in the future by headless idiots Be received as divine prayers. The blood of the blessed will commit a fault in Sincadere, Burnt through lightning and overuse of magic: The gracious lady will fall from her high place, Several of the same sect will be killed. The great ruler will be struck down in the day by a thunderbolt, An evil deed foretold by the bearer of the Axiom. According to the prediction, another falls at night time. Conflict at the crossroads, witnessed by the dwellers of the forest. Through all things, dire and terrifying, the guidance of the Basilica, the spokepeople of the gods Will Sincadere survive and prosper. Already some of this has come to pass... just weeks ago a treasonous campaign to malign the good name of the Basilica took place. The dedicated guards of Helheim routed them out and performed justice. The Consortium does what it can to regulate the use of magic by the citizens of Helheim but what of the Jade Lotus Empire and the Cabbala? neither seems concerned that the frivolous use of magic threatenes to bring forth a second Cataclysm. Do none of you remember the childhood tales of the first Cataclysm? Do you honestly believe that Helheim is the greatest the humans of Sincadere have achieved in our time before the interlopers arrived? Great cities were leveled in the first upset. Magic ripped through the realm, thousands perished needlessly. The Halls of Mikhail were flooded with souls awaiting judgment while those that remained alive were left with horrors to combat. Vile creatures, twisted by magic and deformed beyond recognition, poured through the portals and wreaked havoc among the population. Others arrived too, settling the realms of the Jade Lotus and the Cabbala. Sincadere was now more than humans and the beasts, now it was home to refugees from other realms. And now the threat of another Cataclysm looms... and none but the Basilica seem concerned by it. Take heed, citizens, police your peers. Turn them in to the Consortium. See something, say something. Save Sincadere. As reported by GGN Goblin Gossip Network
So, Rukbah, an Orc in the Black Tusk Tribe came up with this totally zany idea to play a game where we all play characters in a role play. The first night was chaos. Utter chaos. But also, apparently, a ton of fun. Sophia the elven lich played a Goblin Princess named Happy. Gorehorn the minotaur played a half-orc, half-minotaur named Horngore. Pet the dragon played Pet the orc and Botley the Goblin played KingTyr the Green Penguin (mythical creature). Our adventurers were approached by King Myr's Regent, Duchess Goo the sentient gelatinous cube, and asked to rid the nearby swamp of a vile black dragon that was impeding trade between Killheim and Blue Flower Empire. Reluctantly, the adventurers agreed and came face to face with an ancient black dragon named Gaeros, to whom the glorious Paigie of some school in Frabbala has dedicated herself. The adventure was cut short, not by the death of one of the Goblin players but rather by the abrupt departure of Sophia and Pet for their own reasons. Gorehorn was intent on continuing the adventure but the Gorgun Master, Rukbah, called it a night. ((Full transcript of the RP can be found here)) ((This accounting of history is from the perspective of a character named Fevren who was not alive during the ancient events. There may be some discrepancies between this accounting and the sim lore because of bias and a lack of IC text to draw from. The sim lore is canon, but Fevren will try and spin some of it as incorrect and embellished as the sim lore was written by a Jade Lotus citizen and not a citizen of Helheim.)) Historical Overview of the Basilica and Accounting of the First Law
A treatise on the importance of discontinuing the frivolous overuse of magic. From the desk of Fevren of the Basilica, Chief of Clergy, in the year 2145 In the time before the Cataclysm the people of Sincadere… human down to the last infant… worshipped freely and without guidance. There was no need to protect the Faith because the Four were the only Gods and the humans the only worshippers. It was not until our hubris resulted in the Cataclysm that the interlopers arrived in our realm and brought with them their false idols. These religions tainted our purity and confused the average citizen, drawing many away from the faith. That is when the Basilica was formed, to protect the legacy of The Four. In the beginning, before recorded time, the Four lived together in a formless void. It was Dormia, the Architect, who decided to create Sincadere. It was beautiful, but lifeless. Each mountain and valley, tree and creature, was meticulously crafted by Dormia but it was not until Aidos the Creator breathed life into the world that the rivers began to flow, the wind began to blow and the creatures began to move and breathe. We humans were created as caretakers of Sincadere and were taught to craft by Dormia the Architect, and how to care for the world by Aidos the Creator. But it was Junten the Learned who taught us magic and created the Leylines from which we draw power. Junten never intended for us to take his lessons and go as far as we did. Along with Magic we were given The First Law which stated: Do not misuse this gift that we share with you, use it with a clear mind and a pure heart. A selfish mind and dark heart will destroy you. The world became an easier place with magic replacing much of the tasks left to humans. For the most part people saw this as a benefit… surely it was a good thing to have a stove that did not require fuel as that meant we did not have to chop down trees or mine coal and so harm the environment. But there was another group, often referred to in history as the Puritans, who actively fought against the overuse of magic, citing the First Law. It was the belief of the Puritans that excessive use of magic would bring about the destruction promised in the First Law. They saw the use of magic as harmful to the realm, extrapolating on the First Law with an idea of magic pollution. While we avoided the chopping down of precious trees or the run-off contamination involved in coal mining, we polluted the magic essence of the world. This contamination built up over time and eroded the stability of the very fabric of our world. The Puritans did what they could within the Senate of the Human Empire to stop the overuse of magic but the others in power scoffed at their warnings. And so it came to pass one crisp morning in 1520 the world was shattered and forever changed. Millions died as entire cities collapsed, some even sinking wholly beneath the surface of Sincadere. Even Helheim proper was not spared the mass destruction, though it withstood more than most. Its tattered remains became a destination for the few survivors of the other cities within the Empire. This event became known as the Cataclysm. It resulted from the overuse of magic. The Puritans were proven right in the most devastating of ways. The majority of the remaining population saw the error of their ways and turned to the Four, seeking solace in renewed worship. With the Senate destroyed, leadership fell to the royal line and to the newly formed representatives of the Gods: the Basilica. For nearly 600 years the Basilica guided the humans of Helheim in their faith. But in 2115, during the reign of Halthor Spurius, an event took place that shattered the relationship between the royals and the clergy. I was much younger then and not privy to the details, but the result was the expulsion of the Basilica from Helheim proper. We retreated to a commune in the wilderness where those few faithful who wished to lead a pious life joined us. Worship of the Four fell out of favour in Helheim and many forgot the Basilica even existed. I am pleased to record that after my ascension to head of the Basilica, I have returned to Helheim to confer with her current King, Tyr Spurius. While tension still remains, and I suspect the king harbours resentment over the sudden departure of the Basilica in his youth, progress is being made. King Tyr funded an expedition to the mysterious new islands that appeared off the coast of Helheim and during this event ancient texts were discovered. I diligently translated them into what I believe is a Prophecy of old, foretelling a second Cataclysm, as the First Law continues to be flouted by our ignorant population. |
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