This just in....
Gaboon lost his virginity before his father did. Gaboon doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. The dinosaurs looked at Gaboon the wrong way once. You know what happened to them. Gaboon's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Gaboon does not sleep. He waits. Gaboon recently had the idea to sell his pee as a purchased beverage. It’s now called Mog Juice. Eclipses happen when Gaboon challenges the sun to a staring contest and the sun blinks. Gaboon can lead a horse to water AND make it drink. Gaboon built the hut he grew up in. Gaboon was once bitten by a snake. Five days later the snake died. Gaboon's belly flop is so powerful it shattered Fevren's career. Gaboon can believe its not butter. Gaboon sleeps with a candle...not because he's afraid of the dark but because the dark fears Gaboon. Gaboon died many years ago, the Destroyer just hasn't worked up the courage to come for him. Gaboon can have his cake and eat it too. The first banana tree grew from where Gaboon's toenail clippings were buried. Gaboon is a craftsman and his number one product is pain. Gabbon has counted to infinity....twice. Champions are the breakfast of Gaboon. Gaboon does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Gaboon goes killing. The big bang was caused by Gaboon's cheeks clapping. Gaboon can kill two stones with one bird. Gaboon does not contribute to the pot, the pot contributes to Gaboon. Gaboon makes onions cry. Death once had a near-Gaboon experience. Gaboon can drown a fish. Gaboon once punched a man in the soul. The moon doesn't cause the tides, it's Gaboon wading into the ocean. The sun does not orbit the Earth, it orbits Gaboon, who just happens to live there. Rain is just the sky weeping at Gaboon's glory. Gaboon does not get frostbite, Gaboon bites frost. Gaboon does not take showers, he takes blood baths. Gaboon ordered a steak once...and that steak did what it was told. Gaboon doesn't walk. His steps move the earth under his feet to where he wishes to be. Gaboon can fight himself and win. Gaboon can punch himself in the back of the head. Gaboon can start a fire with two icicles. Gaboon sneezes with his eyes open. Gaboon doesn't breath, he holds air hostage. Gaboon is never late because time waits for him. Santa orc was real...until he forgot a gift for Gaboon. Gaboon can speak Braille. Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but Jack still couldn't dodge Gaboon's meaty fist. The reason krakens don't have bones is because Gaboon broke them all in an arm wrestling contest. Gaboon can get in a bucket and lift it up with himself in it. Gaboon won an arm wrestling tournament without using his arms. Gaboon once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are now known as giraffes. Gaboon beat a statue in a staring contest. There is a book about Gaboon. Its called the Sincadere book of records. Gaboon wanted to boost a Grot's confidence once so he intentionally tried to fail. His failure caused the JLE to rise into the sky and form the Tusk's new forests. Gaboon's belly flop is so powerful it broke Helheim's royal line. Gaboon sneezed once and all the snaga in the camp got pregnant. When Mog said 'Let there be light!' Gaboon said 'Say Please.' If you want a list of Gaboon's enemies, just look up the extinct species list. The red mists really did originate from the tusk camps, Gaboon had case of bad gas and ordered the jicho's to cover up the truth. The only time Gaboon was ever afraid was the first time he saw his own reflection. Gaboon is the unstoppable force AND the immoveable object. Comments are closed.
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