Elven Eye Aigie's fashion tips and guide Looking for that perfect outfit to wow the crowd at court or to dazzle your opponents on the battlefield? Do you have a big speech coming up and you need all eyes on you? Looking to catch the eye of a handsome dragon? These tips from Sincadere's original dragon temptress are sure to lure him in! Featuring commentary from the first dragon himself, Vaeros Othim. If you don't yet have an abundance of slaves at your beck and call, working night and day until their fingers or tendrils bleed to create that perfect wardrobe in order to snag that handsome benefactor, here are some cheap tips on the go! Article 1
Catching the eye of a handsome dragon If your dragon does not covet you as THE most valuable treasure in his hoard then he is either not worth your time or you are not trying hard enough! Vaeros: “Probably the latter.” Hygiene is important Dragons have highly developed senses and they can smell your stench over long distances. If you're out here smelling like the swamp above Cabbala, then you'll only manage to keep him at bay! March yourself down to one of the local bathhouses and scrub that grime away. You don't need to add a lot of perfume afterwards, just add your own homemade honey along the juncture of your neck and you're good to go. Don't fret about storing for later, it's best used when made and you can always ask for help from the one you attract in making more. Note: To keep your homemade honey fresh you should store it in a warm place, preferably at body temperature. Vaeros: “Don’t put it anywhere you don’t want his nose to go.” Accentuate your assets Don't hide your value under tons of fabric, let them know your mounds can rival any pile of gold. The tighter the fit, the better. Highlight your best features by brushing on finely crushed shell powder to give it that extra shine, then dab on a bit of edible berry juice to add extra color and sweetness to your cheeks and lips. Vaeros: “The blood of his enemies is an acceptable alternative.” Less is more Leaving something to the imagination is a good strategy in some situations, but when it comes to dragons your value and worth has already been assessed. Show him the investment he is making often! Vaeros: “Don’t bury your treasures.” Don't let yourself go In time, as your value to your dragon rises, he'll lavish you with the most expensive jewels, silks, and products that money can buy. Your job as his treasure is upkeep. Keep yourself in tip-top shape! Vaeros: “Dragons eat bovine.” By far the best way to maintain a slim and fit figure is a strict routine of morning, afternoon, and night time exercises with healthy protein meals in between. This has the added benefit of prolonging your life so you can keep indulging from your dragon's vast wealth. Vaeros: “Ask your dragon for the best exercise routine as they are the experts.” Next Time: Accessorize! What gems are HOT and what gems are NOT. OOC Contributers: Kallen, Nimue, Hawkstone, Vashet, Terra, Ikuto, Atlas, Gobbie, and Lossehellin Many have heard the name Mick Dagger. It is the GGN's mournful duty to report that this famous Goblin... the Grand Reclusiarch of the Great Goblin Gasilica ®, the CEO of Goblin Allied Sanitation Service (or G.A.S.S.) ®, the Administrivus of TotallyLegit Documents ®, the Executive Director of TotallySafe Tours ®, the Goblin Gorgun of Rent-a-Tusk ® and the Lead Lip-Syncer of the MeatBeatles ®, has died. This evening Mick Dagger along with his Sugar Mama and Wife, Yisu Dagger, died by suicide off the Nekoyami Island. Reports confirm the remains of a goblin, a nekoyami and a horse were found in the wreckage far below the JLE. Reports also confirm that the Dagger family will be filing a lawsuit against the Jade Lotus Empire for negligence on the part of the Air Kami who are suppose to catch wayward travelers. GGN believes that Big Deal Brokil will be the litigator in the case. He is survived by his siblings, Quirk Dagger who earned her name due to a series of peculiarities. One is a seemingly pathological addiction to crime that compelled her into hijinks and the other was a complete rejection of the more standard tusk dress to instead steal and wear the fanciest puffiest dresses she could find. And Slapstick Dagger, who tries to make a living as a jester using bad jokes and tricks. A waiver is always required for his shows as a way to not give back refunds due to the occasional guest going backstage and disappearing. The funeral arrangements are being made and will be announced soon. An admission of 5c is expected for all attendees but a 1c discount is provided for anyone willing to say nice things about the deceased during the ceremony. All gift receipts should be made out to Rick Dagger. ((If you wish to read the RP, you can do so on Origins discord.)) ((Anyone may play one of the goblins listed below if they wish, any goblin marked with an asterixis is already spoken for. Simply message lossehellin on discord or SL to call dibs on your goblin name.)) Other notable Daggers:
Acoustic Dagger, odd fascination with singing in the caves. Addick Dagger, really gets hung up on substances. Airsick Dagger, Bat-rider who thinks he's a dragonrider Attick Dagger, likes living in high places. Angelick Dagger, he's got a little devil in him. Antic Dagger, the prankster Bailiwick Dagger, everyone thinks his mom is actually a basilisk *Benedick Dagger, is a cleric of the Grinning One. Called Cumber for short. Bigwick Dagger, coming in with that big gob energy Brick Dagger, the window washer. Boomstick Dagger, fisherman. Bootlick Dagger, the best 'yes goblin' you'll ever meet. Chick Dagger, the chicken tender. As in handler... not food! Chopstick Dagger, from overseas, uses chopsticks for everything. Clerick Dagger, is also a cleric. Click Dagger, meat beetle and Ogre trainer. Cowlick Dagger, the barber. Crick Dagger, the masseur. Derrick Dagger, he's adopted (he's not even green) *Dick Dagger, he's such a prick. Dipstick Dagger, Engineer and Mechanic Dominick Dagger, he works with leather. Dynamic Dagger, Can ONLY yell or whisper. Fanatick Dagger, really focuses on things. Fantastik Dagger, super clean. Feministic Dagger, really likes the ladies. Fishstick Dagger, D'Orc manufacturer. Flick and Lick Dagger, the porn twins. Frick Dagger, they never swear. Fossick Dagger, the treasure hunter. Generick Dagger, he's kinda boring. Gimmick Dagger, such a showman. Hick Dagger, he ain't from around here. Holistic Dagger, the alchemist. Homesick Dagger, traveling salesman who never makes it home for Winter Veil Hydrophobic Dagger, Can swim very well, just really hates water. Ick Dagger, everyone hates him. He's gross. Works with Sick Dagger. Joystick Dagger, carries a stick called Joy, spreading happiness one smack at a time Kick Dagger, the blind monk to always stubs his toe. Killick Dagger, the Sailor. *Knick Dagger, seller of oddities. Not to be confused with Nick Dagger. Limerick Dagger, there once was a goblin named Limerick, he was really bad at poetry. Lockpick Dagger, works in law enforcement. Logick Dagger, silver tongued, can talk his way out of anything. Lopstick Dagger, was born with a lopsided face. Lovesick Dagger, the bard. Lunatick Dagger, astrologist. Lyrick Dagger, the songwriter. Majestic Dagger, the wealthiest Dagger. Majick Dagger, the illusionist. Mathmatick Dagger, an accountant. Manick Dagger, such a bummer. Maverick Dagger, always playing cards, nicknamed Burt. Medick Dagger, is a healer. Mythik Dagger, he's a legend! Necrotick Dagger, braaaaaaains! Nephric Dagger, loves steak and kidney pie. Nick Dagger, the swordsmith. Nonstick Dagger, slickest cook you'll ever find. Nudnick Dagger, the most boring and most annoying Dagger. Optimistic Dagger, the most agreeable greenskin you will ever meet. Panick Dagger, super excitable. Parasitick Dagger, a total freeloader. Pick Dagger, he's the guitarist. Pinprick Dagger, the Tailor Politick Dagger, used cart salesman. Prick Dagger, he's just a dick. Prolific Dagger, lots of kids. Quick Dagger, the mail delivery technician. Realistic Dagger, OBSESSED with making sure everyone is "living in the moment". *Rick Dagger, he's the drummer. *Schtick Dagger, he's always got something going on. Shashlik Dagger, is a chef who shish kebabs. *Shawshank Dagger, former prison guard. Sick Dagger, tends the cook pot at the Black Tusk camp. *Slapstick Dagger, "bewear the Stick of Slapping held byThe Great Slapstick Dagger. Giggle and pay well or else yer rump shall swell!" Slick Dagger, total greaser. Or lady's man. Or both. Statick Dagger, he's the same guy he's always been. Stick Dagger, an Ogre Handler. Also professional jouster. *Thicc Dagger, she's got it going on. Tick Dagger, suuuuper nervous demolitionist. Used to have a brother named Tock. *Trick dagger, is a magician Uptick Dagger, obsessed with the latest trends. Vick Dagger, always has wonderful minty breath. Warwick Dagger, he's a wizard. Wick Dagger, the candlemaker. The Importance of Having a Raven House. For most part, dear reader, we try to explore the most succulent topics on this our editorial section. Picking up the very best of the word on the street. Carefully filtering the chaff from the wheat, to thrust an extensive and thoroughly deep investigation on critical matters. If only to shove the undeniable pristine truth down your eyes. Tis not an easy task, the Cabbala Chronicle takes pride on delivering to you the best news in all of Sincadere. But after our offices got drowned by a flock of pesky ravens, rudely dropping their waste and feathers, as well as a mountain of your poorly scribbled letters. We are forced to reply in kind to you, our faithful readers, before these forsaken birds peck our eyes out. So instead of assessing the reasons behind Hellheim's short attention span. Which apparently has misplaced one of their high-ranking guards, found patrolling the caves close to the Cabbalan College of Obscure Arts. Most likely a genuine lost individual worthy to be the subject of further study, and thorough dissection. OR denouncing the atrocities of the vicious and corrupt Jade Empire. In a piece that would have included an in-depth piece about the empress mood swings and rabid outbursts, most likely worsened after the emperor's need to remain cuddled only by his precious katana. An ancient asian tradition to combat the declining proficiency of the flesh tanto that nests between his legs. We are now forced to deliver you this, our gift in the name of the Summer Festival. And expand our blooming new social section "Rumors Bloody Rumors", to focus solely on the much more dangerous, spiky, and quite spicy subject of… and I cannot believe I am writing this… loOove! Summer came upon us like a hurricane, rising the temperatures of the Cabbala, and moisturizing their inhabitants. Was it the ongoing war with the Jade Empire which rose tensions leaving the dwellers of the dark hard and stiff? Or has some of the less honest barkeeps been dumping love potions on the Bound Elf free booze nights? Some concerned dwellers point their fingers to our aquatic fiends, claiming they have entered a mating season and are jellying the waters we all bathe in. While the CCOA most notable scholars remain suspiciously silent. Was it an experiment gone terribly wrong? are we under a lust driven curse? Important questions that demand answers from our leadership... that is, whenever they are dry and not merrily humping… But whatever the reason, my dear reader, heat! is upon us. Take comfort that it has affected us all, from the most humble deviant, to our mighty Archon. https://discord.com/channels/633123431046709249/642817732248862728/1016490170196963438 It was during the marvelous summer festivities held in that magical land of Nascentia that love collected it's first casualty. It seemed that all of Sincadere has gathered together, dancing and prancing in a revolting display of peace and harmony. Amidst the ceremonies some folk would focus on commerce, others on emptying a drink, many would bury the axe and mend old wounds, but the bravest ones most would attempt to rip open new ones during the Bloodbowl tournament. And what a tournament it was, for not only we witness the combatants bled in the sacred brawl. You see dear reader, if you closely paid attention, you would have noticed that the very Archon of the Cabbala and the Great Gibbon sharing matching outfits. Both dancing between the goblins to the same exact rhythm as they shamelessly refereed the match. What a lewd brush of hands we all saw, when the orc let the faun touch the heavy girth of his mighty hammer. So disturbed was the Archon by the sheer size, that more than once she missed a stroke... i mean… a strike. A bless to some of the warriors, saving them from being utterly squashed. Oh! our heart goes to the fluffiest of fauns, after certain king's suspicious disappearance, we were worried her heart and loins may have fallen prey of winter and frost. But our fears were for naught, as cinders were certainly reignited by Great Forest Orc, kindled the embers into undeniable blazing love, we can only hope the Great Gibbon survives our beloved leader's horned touch. Love may have flourished amid the bloody combat, but like a pesky virus seems to have spread into the darkest shadows. If you live long enough in Sincadere, you surely have heard about certain runt. Askha her name, trouble her game. Those that have wits know to shiver in fear when she makes her appearance. The infamous brat was finally cornered by none other than the mighty Warlord of the Horde. Word on the street claims the shadow drake had finally stretched her clutches to catch the renown criminal. When all hope seemed lost with no way out but the noose, when it was Askha's time to pay her debt in tears and blood. The Drake produced a bouquet of flowers and bent her noble knee. The public stared dumbstruck, jaws dropped across the crowd, as we all heard the most honeyed words come out of the Warlord's mouth. Bedazzled the little crook, force to choose between the rolling of her head or the firm spanks of a mate. Askha's reply made the executioner weep, dropping the axe and lifting his arms in defeat. Are her intentions pure, or just another ruse? I encourage you all to keep an eye on the brat's arse as she walks the path into the gallows of marriage. I am forced to remain on this swampy subject, and yes dear reader, like you I feel sticky, moist, and rather stiff. It seems the poison of love had laid siege to our caves. No one is safe, no humanoid, devil, or beast; even good Doctor Robin has fallen ill to the summer heat, trading her club "anesthesia" to hold hands with, not one but two intriguing suitors. What a pest love has become, if you doubt my words and demand proof, seek no further than Korranu and some bouncy butt named Ella. The corrupted mutt that brought terror to the surface dwellers, has yielded to the force of love. He now roams the caves in a detestable merry mood in the company of his brand-new squeaky toy. Who is this mysterious Ella? where does she came from? was she bound, brought, or bought? Who is to know! Regardless, it seems our dear mangy mutt is happy sinking his fangs on her twitchy curves. His tail brooming the path he takes, swinging left and right with such playful force, that he alone has left the cleaning imps out of their usual line of work. https://discord.com/channels/633123431046709249/642817732248862728/1016490335309942894 Some people love hearts, others apparently love lace. Whispers had come to our ears about prince Dinnin, succulent gossip of one of the members of the highest class in the underworld society. While our warriors give their life to keep the Jade Empire at bay on the ongoing war, Prince Dinnin has been using his influence on the caves to divert war funds and resources in developing his private wide network of professional panty snatchers. And not just any panties, worry not ladies... and gentleman (The Cabbala Chronicle do not judge) your undergarments are safe, for the prince private collection is proudly comprised solely Gaboon's laced breeches. According to the whistleblower, the overflowing stash of silky skid mark lingerie is stored under the very throne room of the Cabbala Keep. Has Gaboon's might captured the prince's heart as well? Is the noble Dinnin just a sickening orc stalker? Or is there some sort of messy love triangle between our faun, the prince and green bulky orc? Time will tell, we wish the very best to this royal entrepreneur, and sincerely hope he does not succumb to a poisonous needle any time soon. After reception of an anonymous letter with an odd fragrant fennec scent, we must shed some light in the financial aspect of the festivities. You may think we are diverting from the subject, but that is not quite the case. Such lavish display of goods during the festival surely emptied someone’s trousers, and not quite in a kinky way, for you see some folks just love to clutch their hands around some coin. Word in the streets signals to a conspiracy to inflate market prices on certain stalls. The letter claims that the most noble of wine houses in Sincadere, Gladiators Wine, ruthlessly rigged the price of their Summerfest Wine. Declaring it to be a limited, one-of-a-kind, edition bottle stash as a marketing ruse while selling diluted common table wine instead. Troubling as this news may seem, our secret informant continues raging on his hastily scribbled letter, stating that even the sanctity of the slave auction was soiled by unscrupulous grabby folks. It may come as a surprise to you dear reader, but love can most certainly drain your balls as well as your pouch. So it happens that during the slave auction, Lily the cheerful bouncy elf slave of the caves, was rent out for a staggering sum of 8 silver pieces. And while the letter provides so called “ample evidence” of the auction being rigged, we praise the sale as proof of the Cabbalan slaves’ undeniable quality. Clearly fostered under the watchful eye of the Cabbala’s Warden. Nonetheless, the Cabbala Chronicles will always pursue the truth to the bitter end, and to shut any voices that claim we are a biased source of information, our editor has already sent the informant letter to alert the Cabbalan authorities. Rest assured troubled citizen, the truth will be squeezed out one way or another. https://discord.com/channels/633123431046709249/642817732248862728/1016490484568444968 Of course, we cannot close this edition on love without peeking into the lives of some of the oldest couples in the Cabbala. Our reporters had finally managed to corner Runeh and Eclipse Fang, not an easy task as our journalists kept disappearing into thin air once they entered the Hound's Den. Apparently after their mating ritual the couple has been enjoying their honeymoon period in the only way a Cabbalan couple can, raiding the empire lands, getting entwined in chains and ropes, taking strolls in the corrupt Yokai forest, enjoying regular breeding rumps in public, and ripping innocent creatures together. Has love struck true with them? Well when the bravest of our investigators inquire about Runeh's apparent involvement with a mundane human in matching pink outfits, he suddenly was burst into flames under the White Hound's touch. Catch by surprise, we have come to swiftly learn that their love had ignited something, besides passionate loins, in the famous White Hound. But what about Runeh, has anyone actually knows anything about this black beast? Sadly, our interview was cut short by their growling roar, forcing the surviving journalist to run away as these two creatures begun a wrestling match above the brothel's orgy bed. But rest assured dear readers, once we refill our ranks, we shall find time to make a proper piece on them. In the meantime, the Cabbala Chronicles will pay good copper for any viable and true information on this couple. Speaking of secluded and private shady couples. When words from the forest claimed there had been snow during the summer heatwave. Our reporters rushed to location, pushing the goblins and fae aside as they opened their mouths to take a taste of the miraculous white flakes that poured down around the Tusk encampment. Our brave journalists were committed to find the truth. And after careful meteorological assessment and licking of the salty slush. They discovered that in the skies above the forest canopy, two dragons have been seen performing some nasty lewd dirty dance. Yes dear reader, if you have not seen Kaiaa and Davros as of late, fear not. One of the sweetest couples on the caves has been flying around completely smitten by that horrible disease of love. To those that dwell on the surface, we advise caution and suggest you wear a heavy raincoat, especially when the forecast says its sunny and yet! It drizzles. There you have it my dear readers, Love… what a wicked little thing… it sticks to all of us one way or another, creeping on the shadows like brute ready to strike. Waiting until you turn your back, only to pounce and thrust its massive tentacle up your ass. Summer has come and go like a storm, flooding the caves with it's pesky glitter. If you wish to stay true, and avoid this curse, do not try to find others nor join a support group. For the exclusive price of one single silver coin the Cabbala Chronicles may send you a loveless package with notes on how to avoid it's curse and a stuffed raven for you to brood over. Of Weddings Bells and Torture Tolls. Just when we were ready to print this lovely tabloid a somewhat loony dove crashed into our offices. Who sends a dove to do a raven’s work? On it’s little eyes mischief, on it’s beak a red lace, on its talons a short message. Such horror when we read it out loud. The editor himself leap over the desk and scream loudly to the imps “STOP THE PRESS” We simply cannot let this article break free without adding this last-minute Breaking News [Cabbala Love Edition]. Prince Dinnin, orc panty thief entrepreneur, has been cornered on the Keep with his hands on the precious silky loot. His mischief has been publicly exposed by the Archon herself. The amateur conspirator crimes run deeper than just a mere diversion of war funds. This panty sniffing junkie, had tried to lewdly hold hands with the Headmistress of the CCOA, even attacking the mighty scholar and trying to kill her if she did not comply. After his failed attempt, the raunchy prince run into the Jade Empire exposing arcane summoning secrets of the caves, endangering us all, in exchange for safe harbor and a thorough polish of the emperor’s katana. We have learned from good sources that this sickening nekoyami lover is even wanted by the Crimson Fang for releasing war prisoners and their private chew toys back into the wild. His crimes publicly exposed, his betraying ass bare for us to witness. But my dear gentlefolk, before you go sharpening your pitchforks and lifting your torches tonight; Love!... yes, that wretched epidemic that had befallen us all… had claimed the Archon’s heart yet again. In the most succulent twist of this passionate love polygon, the fluffiest of fauns stomped on the prince royal jewels, stretching her hand with a delicate wave she demanded one thing, and one thing only… Marriage!... and big fucking ring… The self-proclaimed demon prince wriggle and scream, his face contorted as if he had swallowed a fish, oh how he wished for certain big bulky orc to come into his aid. How would Gaboon take this news? Is he still breathing and in good mog? In the meantime, dear dwellers of the dark, stay vigilant. If someone comes asking for a dagger or mentions interest on summoning or the arcane, politely throw their suspicious arses into the cells. Remember, you read it first and read it hard on the Cabbala Chronicles. If you doubted about our veracity, doubt no more! To the Archon, our best wishes. To Gaboon, good mog. To prince Dinnin, haste and expedience. May he dash in search for the biggest diamond, and dart fast… Averting the roasting flames that surely the Archon’s father will lit behind.
And as always, dear reader, sleep with one eye open… maybe two on these heated nights, unless you wish to be tuck and humped. - R. Hangfire Un'yon: Fur and Bamboo ((A Spartacus: Blood and Sand Parody)) Intro The curtain was down, as the time for the play came and went. Suddenly, tiny punches ballooned out from behind the curtain in random spots. Finally finding the split in the middle, Yisu popped out onto the front of the stage. She took a moment to put her hair back into place before giving a low waist bow to the audience. “Tonight’s play is called Un’yon: Fur and Bamboo. An exciting tale of oppression… revolution, and the rise of a Fortune! Un’yon (pronounced union) is my honored Ancestor, and this play means a super lot to me! As much as Mick!” Yisu blushed, gave another bow, and ran to the side corner of the stage, the Narrator’s podium. She cleared her throat and in a loud clear voice, intoned, “We start hundreds and hundreds of years prior, behind the Mist Wall, where time flowed slower for the budding Jade Lotus Empire. The Imp’ress was wise, and she guided her followers to be fruitful, and focused on balance and the ways of the realm. They treated the nekoyami well. But one day….the evil, mean Ash’Lee, of the Underground Kingdoms, wormed their way into the Imp’ress’ kindness. Dark days for the Nekoyami came…” Act 1 Post 1: The curtain lifted to reveal a cutout of the original Jade Palace and three shops; a kimono shop, a noodle shop, and a sushi shop. One nekoyami stood at each of the shops, while another stood in front of the palace on high stilted geta, a bit wobbly, but looking fabulous in an all-white kimono, and a headdress that was twice the size of her tiny cat head, clearly the Imp’ress. One other nekoyami, dressed in a crimson red and black kimono stood opposite of the Imp’ress. This evil-looking cat walked into the ‘village’ and passed each of the nekoyami by the stalls. From above, a nekoyami in the rafters shone a hooded lantern down on the villainous nekoyami, Ash’Lee, as she spoke in an overexaggerated manner, “Greetings business people! I am Ash’Lee of the Underground Kingdoms on the border of the Empire! I have come to beseech business reform, so we may prosper! I go to the Imp’ress, so that she may hear my wisdom, and totally not an evil plan!” The other nekoyami: Young Woman Noodle, Young Man Sushi, and Middle Aged Woman Kimono all nodded in agreement, as Ash’Lee walked toward the Imp’ress. The spotlight nekoyami shifted to a new nekoyami peeking out from behind the sushi stall. Un’yon, of the sushi shop, looked upon the newcomer with wide-eyed curiosity. He had never seen someone from outside the village before, and like most of his species, he was a curious cat. He moved between the noodle stall and the sushi stall, and met his wife, who was holding a kitten. Un’yon said loudly, “Wife! Though you work at the noodle stand, and I at the sushi stand, our love transcends business! So does our kitten, who will pass on my bloodline to Yisu, a great descendant that will be in love with Mick, and will make a lot of money in the name of all nekoyami!” Not one of Yisu’s greatest moments as a playwright… or was it? Post 2: Once again, the spotlight nekoyami was on point in this play, and the light shone down upon the newcomer dressed in red and black. Ash’Lee finished her journey to the foot of the cutout mountain and Jade Palace. She stood looking up at the magnificent and glorious Imp’ress. “I am a wise traveler that speaks wisdom about business! The nekoyami are plentiful, and efficient workers! In order for our empire to prosper, we must tell business owners to use at least twelve nekoyami to work in each shop. Nekoyami cannot mingle between shops, or they will become distracted! Distracted Nekoyami will hurt themselves! And... They must work tirelessly night and day, or they will become sad! This will make our eco… nomy…” the Ash’Lee actor seemed to strain to say the word, “... strong. Our business will boom and expand our borders into the wilds!” The Imp’ress cat nodded solemnly… and then stuck her tongue out toward her cheek in concentration as she tried to maneuver a 180 to turn her back to pretend to leave, and not notice stuff. She wobbled, had a critical moment of almost falling, but finally recovered and turned around, pride shining from her face. Once the Imp’ress cat had turned, Ash’Lee laughed maniacally, unnoticed. Two Imperial Guard nekoyami, dressed in mock samurai armor were pulling Un’yon and his wife apart from one another. The two lovers desperately held each other’s paws before they were tragically ripped away. Un’yon was put in a group of four cats, and all four nekoyami were shoved into the stall to work the crowded sushi stand in a sushi sweatshop. The four of them all positioned themselves like they were in a can of sardines. The crack of a whip could be heard from behind the stage for special effect. The same happened to his wife and the noodle stand’s nekoyami. Finally, the same was repeated with the kimono stand. One of the guards suddenly spoke to the business owners, “By Imperial law, a great idea by Ash’Lee will be done! Such is the will of the Imp’ress! We must put all the nekoyami to work! Twelve nekoyami in each stall. More is coming!” Young Man Sushi looked to the other owners with concern painted on the actor’s face, but eventually, all three shrugged. A lone loud clapping from the audience could be heard. Young Man Sushi was giving such a beautiful performance, it made Old Man Sushi shed a single tear. He stood up, and gave a standing ovation for the nekoyami actor. The curtain came to a close, in preparation for the second act. Act 2 Narrator Post: The spotlight swung to Yisu, and she cleared her throat, looking longingly out toward the crowd, hoping Mick would miraculously show… to support her… to show his love in return. Eventually, she shook herself out of it and started reciting her second act introduction lines, “This went on for many years. The nekoyami were treated little better than slaves. The Imp’ress was kept in the dark, but the Empire prospered….We come to a time where the tension and weight of meanness went even beyond nekoyami tolerance…” Post 1: The curtain rose again revealing the three stalls that now took up most of the stage. There were twelve nekoyami in each stall, nekoyami that were dressed in rags and rubbed in dirt, downtrodden looks upon their faces. Un’yon, and his wife were in their stalls when Ash’Lee entered from the side with the two guards. She swaggered up to the noodle stall and started to push over Un’yon’s wife with her foot. Un’yon’s wife fell over in an over-dramatic style, yelling out, “I am worked to the bone! My little paws are worked to the point of my claws being little nubs! I can not go on… Ash’Lee is evil and abuses me, I am not long for this world.” The wife, who was a bad actress, and why her character wasn’t given a name, fell to the ground in an obviously fake death scene. Ash’Lee spoke with evil glee, “HA HA! My plan is working just as expected. We can use these animals as slave labor. HA HA HA!” Ash’Lee laughed like a madwoman, walking off with guards in tow. Un’yon had been restrained while seeing the whole thing. When the villain walked off he rushed to his wife, holding her as she went limp in his arms. Un’yon stood up as the other nekoyami took the wife away. “That was her last of nine lives, she is… gone. I will send my kitten away… and we will revolt!” The other nekoyami gathered around the Un’yon, “Until we get better safety regulations, and work conditions, we will serve uncooked noodles, and cooked fish in raw sushi! We will mend the kimonos with loose thread, and help the weavers weave not so well!” By now, Un’yon stood upon a large soap box, the other nekoyami nodding and murmuring agreement. “This has gone on too far! Follow me, my brothers and sisters! We will be slaves no more!” The rest of the nekoyami cheered as the spotlight nekoyami closed the hood, fading the scene. The actor nekoyami scrambled to get into the next position. Post 2: As the cats at the stalls settled into their new positions, the spotlight shone off to the side, where Ash’Lee and her two guards were talking… or rather Ash’Lee was ranting at them. “It has been twelve years of bad sushi! Who is this Un’Yon?! And why is there cooked fish in my sushi?! Why do my kimonos fall apart when I walk? Why are my noodles uncooked?!?! These nekoyami are incompetent and lazy! We will have to make an example of them. Come!” Ash’Lee, the evil cave-dwelling slumlord of the nekoyami led the guards to whip the nekoyami into shape. Young Man Sushi cat stood over a large group of slave nekoyami, Un’yon in the center sitting defiantly in a sit-down strike against the businesses and the laws. Young Man Sushi spoke, “You must work and do as the gov’rn’ment says or you won’t reincarnate when you die! It is a matter of national security! All the nekoyami will turn into scary blue oni, if they don’t work!” He cut off short as Ash’Lee approached and bowed, stepping off to the side. Un’yon stared defiantly at the evil Imperial Advisor as she spoke. “If Un’yon does not step forward by the end of sundown, in one hour, all nekoyami will be thrown into the Mist Wall, never to work again!” The spotlight lantern shut off, and the curtain came down. Just as it was almost closed, the spotlight came crashing down to the stage below. Several nekoyami yowled and jumped away. Thankfully, Yisu could still claim, no nekoyami were hurt in the production of this play. Act 3 Narrator Post: Welp… the spotlight lantern, nor the nekoyami that was holding it, were coming back. He was sooo getting fired after the play. Yisu cleared her throat, smoothing the annoyed look on her face, replacing it with a bright smile before starting her intro into the third and final act. She had hoped that they would get through at least one play without some kind of accident. She cleared her throat a second time and went into her oration, “And thus the stage was set for the final showdown, dusk came and went, the time was at hand. Nighttime was when cave dwellers were strongest, and this was no different for Ash’Lee. The evil Imperial Advisor approaches, to make good on her dark promise. She approaches with evil intent in her eyes, but Un’yon and his resistance fighters are there to defy her! Stay tuned for the play’s exciting conclusion!” Yisu sighed, and then turned to the curtain, waiting awkwardly for it to lift, and for Act 3 to start. Post 1: The dastardly evil Ash’Lee, Imperial Advisor that spoke honey to the Imp’ress, and reason to business owners across the Empire, came walking onto the stage with the bearing of great importance. She was accompanied by her usual two guards and she pointed to the slaves, who were gathered in a group, “It is sundown! Give us Un’yon, they are to be arrested for treason! Such is the will of the Imp’ress!” The slave nekoyami yelled back rebelliously, shaking their fists. Two slave cats jumped into the air, rigged by rope on the rickety rails of the stage, they struck kung-fu poses. The guards did the same, though one’s rigging caused them to spin endlessly in a flying kick pose. After several moments of chaotic swinging, the slaves all laid down, the guards given mercy by those pulling the rigging ropes, were let down as well. The guards rushed to stand menacingly over the slave nekoyami. The evil leader spoke, “HA HA HA! As always, I, Ash’Lee the Great, won! I always win! YAY ME!” Ash’Lee started dancing with glee in the middle of the stage. “Now…who is Un’yon?! Will the real Un’yon, please stand up… please stand up? Tell me, or all of you will be thrown into the Mist Wall!” Several moments of tense anticipation passed, Un’yon looked like he was going to stand up, to save his people, when a nekoyami stood up near the edge. “I am Un’yon!” The actual Un’yon blinked away tears of freedom and pride. Another nekoyami slave stood up, “I am Un’yon too!” More and more of them stood up saying “I am Un’yon!” Even the ones that were defeated in the fight popped up to say they were Un’yon, caught up in the excitement of it, before they were told to lay back down by their fellow actors. The real Un’yon finally stood up and walked forward, “I am Un’yon, and we WILL have more safe and proper work conditions!” The slave nekoyami cheered! Post 2: (FINAL POST) Ash’Lee and their guard moved to take all the nekoyami into custody, rushing forward. A loud gong clashed in the background, stopping all nekoyami on stage in their tracks. Another loud ring from the gong echoed through the air, and then a final third clash, announcing to all… the Imp’ress finally arrived. This is where a spotlight hooded lantern would have come in handy for dramatic effect. The Imp’ress cat, once again, stuck her tongue out of the side of her mouth as she focused on not falling as she turned back around. This took several long moments of shuffle, shift, shuffle, shift. When she was finally turned, a bit of sweat matted her fur from the effort. Breathless, she spoke,”I am…” She paused holding up one finger to take a few more moments to catch her breath, “I am Tsuiteru! Imp’ress to the Jade Lotus Empire and beloved of all Nekoyami! In my great magical wisdom and good luck belly… I have determined that these new business laws are nothing more than an evil plan for cave dwellers to try to take over my Empire! It is a good thing I have the loyal nekoyami to stand true and strong for me. Ash’Lee, of the vile cave dwelling people of my Empire. You are hereby dishonored! Your cows, your caves, and your family are all dishonored.” Ash’Lee yelled out in terror as she appeared to start to melt, “Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo, my plans almost worked, if it weren’t for you nekoyami and your little Un’yon too!” Ash’Lee the Vile crumpled within her red and black robes and appeared to be nothing more than a pile of clothes. The guards, who were kneeling beside Ash’Lee, looked to one another, and started to kick at the clothes to show their loyalty to the Empire. The Imp’ress had a look of satisfaction on her face, and then pointed to Un’yon! “YOU!” She boomed, pointing to Un’yon. Un’yon stood from his kneeling and bowing position. “Your actions have proven honorable. From this day forth, no other nekoyami may have five letters in their name, to honor your actions. From this day forward, nekoyami will be unyon-ized, with better safety regulations, and proper work conditions! To seal the deal, and make sure it all happens, I declare Un’yon, Fortune of Nekoyami, Kabuki Theatre, Safety Regulations, and Proper Work Conditions! All worship and venerate the new Fortune!” All the nekoyami cheered, Un’yon was lifted from the stage, by rigging, to ascend into the heavens. All was right in the realm, and the Empire prospered. THE END In the chaos of the nefarious and vile raid set upon our glorious Empire, one of our beloved Nekoyami was SNATCHED against her will and stolen to the dark depths of the Caballa. I am writing this report on behalf of the poor Nekoyami's family. Pako is the oldest daughter of Yan and Zizi, and was the main caretaker of the Home for Displaced Nekoyami of the First Helheim Invasion. She is well known in the Nekoyami community for being kind, generous, and hard-working. Her family wishes to put these messages out in hopes that the person responsible for Pako's disappearance will send their beloved daughter home. Zizi: "I just want my girl to come home. She is my first-born kitten. Yan and I tried for so long, but we had to be so careful because.. you know... how much our shops hate each other...but when Pako was born, that just didn't matter anymore...she's a good cat...too gentle for life in those caves.." Yan: "Nekoyami Island just isn't the same without Pako. She's such a sweet, loving soul...she...doesn't deserve a life of terror in those caverns...where they eat Nekoyami... please don't eat my daughter....." Sisu: "Pako and I ...were gonna get married. We..were gonna have kittens...start a family...together..I had a ring and everything! I was going to propose at the next Kabuki-Cats Play..." Other Nekoyami have reached out to me, wanting to add their messages about Pako.
The Nekoyami are planning to hold a candle-light vigil on Nekoyami Island tomorrow night in honor of their lost friend and family member. We hope...this message reaches the eyes of whoever has taken Pako, and after reading...will give them a change of heart. Bring Pako Home! Sincadere Summer 08/08/2022
Oh dear reader, what delicious news I have for your on this day. The kind of tidings that would make you sharpen your claws and polish those nasty fangs. For you see, not a week ago a foolish troupe of the Jade Lotus Empire’s finest, yet apparently brain death, brawlers came into the caves to spew their poisonous words. Self-proclaim champions of light, seeking to make a name for themselves. A name that will come forth to claw them in the ass. When words fell short, this bold company dared to capture our very own and attempted to cleanse them, to make them bend a knee and submit to those cowards that dwell high in the sky. Such boldness, such bravado, clearly is not the act of a lone rouge group. No, my dear deviants, this was a sanctioned enterprise. For all we know it was blessed by the emperor himself. Seems the zapping eel that claims rule on the sky had forgotten the time when he crept around the caves; but worry not, if he had forgotten it, it is our duty to humble him. So rise strong and wild, be that dragons, beasts, devils, demons or else; it matters not, the Archon calls into arms, the Cabbala needs your might. It was not us who took the first bite, but by Darkness and Night we will be the ones that tear them apart. But not all is bloodshed, ash, and dust, my good readers, as you know the Cabbala Chronicle takes pride to spread only the truth, and the truth alone, we are your unbiased, incorruptible source of information, your voice! Sort to speak, don’t get any funny ideas. It is no surprise that we now receive ravens from the furthest corners of Sincadere. Such an enlightening correspondence, filled with reports that are too succulent to be phony or false. Accounts that we now place on our brand-new segment: Rumors Bloody Rumors. Never say love is unbecoming of our dark caves. In a note hastily written by someone called “Dark and Fiery” we have received confirmation of an event that took its bloody time to unravel. Our dear elder, Eclipse, the White Hound, has finally been mated on a ceremony filled with blood, passion, and lust. A rocky road that begun with a threat, concludes it’s chapter with loud moans. Not bad for the curvaceous granny. May her mate, a braggart by the name of Runeh, keep her filled to the brim at night. Ah! Love, what a subject to dissect and study. Apparently, it spreads like a disease. Speaking of ailments, the king of Hellheim has been missing for some time, his court has been running around like headless chickens trying to manage the kingdom. Where oh where could King Tyr be?. Well a bard that boast the title of “The Great” wrote to us. Apparently, the heart of King Tyr is being stolen by no other than the Archon of the caves, they had been seen wooing and exchanging quite personal gifts. Perhaps he had eloped to strengthen his pure blood line with the worthy faun. Oh! Rejoice Basilica! For through the next King of Hellheim’s veins may run pure Cabbalan blood no less. Before I let you go, I would like to thank on behalf of our multiple and literate staff to the brand-new Slumlord, and her idea of placing some adds here and there. Our humble newspaper could not survive without the coin soon to be provided by her pouch, many thanks to her trust, and hope she does not catch in flames once our bill is promptly delivered. Cabbala Chronicles Adverts
And as always, dear reader, sleep with one eye open. - R. Hangfire Welcome to today's Bounty Broadsheet. Here's how this works.
Lord Ralathos Gilderman, ((ralath.resident)) Perhaps our biggest bounty yet; Lord Ralathos Gilderman is no stranger to the board. He is the leader of the Basilica and a multiple-time winner of the Dawn Champion title. He often has a group of body guards. Lord Ralathos Gilderman is wanted alive and unharmed. Hence the high price! Reward is 10s.
Asteri, ((axonn377.resident)). The Town Himbo himself. A member of the Basilica as well as the Helheim guard. Caution should be taken as he is a proven fighter. Wanted alive, and not done irreparable damage. Reward is 1s. Daelan Calion, ((aternity.resident)). Wanted for skipping out on a bar tab with an unknown individual. Reward is 2s. Solene Barashta, ((barashtasolene)). Wanted by reason of abandonment of the Guard. Individual may be disguised. Caution advised. Dead or Alive. Reward is 1s 50c. Sylvan, ((Sylvanriver)) (Image pending). Wanted for treason and abandonment of the Guard. Has been seen transforming into a dragon. Had connections to the Goldbloods. Caution advised. Dead or Alive. Reward is 1s 50c. Interested in having someone captured? Place a Bounty yourself!
It has been another busy week around the Empire. Here are some highlights to help you stay up to date on the happenings within the Jade Lotus and news that affects us all. As always, should you have questions about the information provided through the Imperial Herald, reach out to the members of the Imperial Court to get further details.
Lots Going on and to respond to! Here are some upcoming things to look out for:
Are you a new member, or an old member, looking for something to do, or a new story to start?!
The Meatbeaters, the #1 Fan Club of the Goblin sensation, The Meatbeatles, have a few words to say about the recent challenge issued by Ashley the "Great". And here they are:
"Ashely got goblin gang-banged, and not even in the fun way." ~ Yisu, former #1 Meatbeatles Fan and former Meatbeaters President "A great show though I lost my wallet during it. I got to meet one of the band members afterwards who just happened to have the same wallet I had. Crazy." ~ A Meatbeater "They approached playing actual music several times." ~ Blizzbane Fizzledix "The only thing Ashley did better than the dreamy Meatbeatles was catchin' a beat down!" ~ Totally a bigger fan than Fanclub President Yisu! "The Meatbeatles performance played to the crowds mood an demands, far out preforming Ashley's setlist in this Bah's eyes." ~ Bah'Jicho Nimue, Meatbeater fanclub member #14 Do you want to be a member of the #1 Meatbeatles fan club? Send 10c and a self-addressed envelope to Mick Dagger along with a self declaration over why you think Mick Dagger is the best Meatbeatle. [16:16] Ralathos: eyed the crowd that had gathered about in the gardens, nodding to himself and quietly pleased. He had no notion of how many would turn up and was quite pleased to see so many showing up. It made for good viewing. "Very well then, we can begin in a moment." Leafing through his book and then glancing up to Buu, raising a brow and smirking. "No, no dress code. But thank you for asking." Amused by the question and then some. "But I do ask people keep disruptions to a minimum during this. And if they have business that cannot wait... take it else where. The social gathering, and of course... free booze shall be provided for after." Before he gestured to those about the place. "Welcome welcome, several new faces to Helheim today I see. A good time to arrive and learn about the city you are in. Some of you have not been here for very long so there might be much for you to learn. By the way if you have a question, do not hesitate to raise ones hand. Although answers will be brief until the later stage." Explaining for them briefly before he turned a few pages back in his book. Glancing to the Arestegi's for a moment. "If there is a medical issue I would highly recommend taking her to the infirmary. Not settling it right here during this." Before he sighed. "Very well, let us begin! The history of Helheim, and the history of Sincadere, can be most easily divided into two halves. Pre, and post Cataclysm. I suspect there are several here who have not heard of the Cataclysm. But before it... this land was populated by one people, and one people only. Any new to Helheim that knew which people that was?" [16:26] Ralathos: raised a brow at the crowd, then shrugged. "In the beginning, this realm was well known and proven to be originally inhabited by Humans, and Humans alone. Records and digs have been discovered of those ancient times. When the Gods walked the land among the mortals, and guided them. One entrepid scholar, the famous Jiro Nakayama, even discovered an ancient journal from a tribes man of that time. Detailing his time and the Gods. It is a fascinating read for those who wish to come to the Basilica and study in the library, the castle library probably has a copy of several of his works." turned the page of his book. "But what is also known from this time period is that the realm was sealed. No travel between planes, no magical creatures that are so common place today. This was ancient times in this land. And the Gods built Helheim, this we also know. Ancient Helheim was a city of White Marble and Gold. It rose up by the Gods hand and the city of Helheim, known then as the City of the Gods, was founded. But this time could not last... which brings us to the Cataclysm. The single biggest point in the history of this land. One you must all learn about for it defines much of everything. Questions so far?" [16:37] Ralathos: frowned at the Arestegi party leaving, before he continued. "No questions then, very well. Simply put, the Cataclysm was a highly destructive event that reshaped and destroyed much of what was in it. It unsealed the planes and creatures, people and things from other realms began to enter. Some of those are probably alive today. Their descendants certainly are. For every Elf, every Dragon, every creature we now see that is common place, arrived in Sincadere after that event." He smiled faintly before he looked about. "King Tyr though, the line of Spurius, the Royal Family of Helheim actually has ruled this city since before and after the Cataclysm. Their noble line was picked by the Gods at the time of their departure to rule. I expect some of our more esteemed guests here might know of what caused the Cataclysm since so many of the younger faces here are ignorant of the realms history. Duchess, care to enlighten them all?" Grinning to Buu briefly and putting her on the spot. [16:38] Asteri: nods as he looks towards the Devil. "That is a good question.....what did cause the big boom?" [16:42] Buulzibael fluttered her eyelashes playfully as Ralathos put her on the spot, only to lift her chin and answer in a sweet, honey-clad tone. She would avoid any details that might flare up diplomatic issues with the neighbouring Kingdoms. "Why, my dear Reclusiarch, was it not the folly of man reaching too high to match the power of the Gods themselves?" she would smile, innocently- but of course, she'd given Ralathos and opening to interpret that comment however he wishes for his sermon's narrative. [16:45] Elena Kozma perked up a bit at this point in the sermon - after all, this was the fire-and-brimstone lesson to be learned from Helheim's history, particularly the fall from grace that was the Cataclysm. It was the part of the story the centaur liked, at least, but Buulzibael's retelling lacked the oomph that the centaur enjoyed in the tale. She waited for the Duchess to finish before speaking up herself "Helheim's former, decadent inhabitants spat in the face of the Gods by using their lofty magicks in an attempt to ascend to godhood themselves, a... Cautionary tale of mortal vanity and ego. They were wrought low and punished by the Four, Helheim destroyed so completely that this city today is not even a shadow of Old Helheim - it is an entirely new creation in the stead of the Old." Elena brought her left hand to fall at rest to the pommel of her sword, her swordhand itself resting on her hip, continuing to listen to the ongoing sermon. [16:48] Ralathos: smiled faintly. "Still, I hope that gives you some context as to why the Basilica believes the Spurius line to be holy. Since King Tyr is a direct descendant of the first ruler of Helheim, back before the Cataclysm. Divine Blood some would say..." Before he looked to Vigil. "This part isn't Basilica teaching, its actually just in every history book in every Kingdom. You shouldn't belittle education and knowledge, there is nothing glorious about ignorance. In fact as a man who served in the Jade Empire for a time, they would be the first to tell you they arrived after the Cataclysm. But worry not... we shall get to more recent war history soon!" Chuckling a little bit before he looked to Buu. "Your attempt at flattery is very sweet, but no. Magic, a warning was given to man not to overuse magic, to use it wisely and with a pure heart. After the departure of the Gods... this was forgotten over time. Magitech... as the Queen would happily ramble on about for ages...." Rolling his eyes a little. "During the [16:48] Ralathos: Golden Age of Helheim, Magitech was used for everything. In short, it was magical powered devices that handled everything. From lighting, to cooking, to communication and even military power. There are stories of weapons of that time, suits of armour powered by magic that could outrun a horse. The Queen, who very much did not believe by the way in any of the Basilica's teachings." Eying Vigil for a moment. "Would of been happy to tell any of the history of this. And she spent much of her time here trying to recreate it. In fact the generator on the roof of the castle is one such device. Either way, the overuse of magic caused the Cataclysm. And opened the realms up. It destroyed the Golden Age of Helheim and that is when many of the other Kingdoms of Sincadere began to appear. Some began inhabiting the caves under the swamp, which lead to the formation of the Cabbala. And those who are curious can ask the Jade Empire about how they arrived in their own time." Shrugging a little. "But let us move on to modern Kings of Helheim, any know of King Freyr the Kind?" [17:00] Ralathos: smiled faintly. "Those of you who have been in Helheim longer, might remember my public debate with the Queen on much of this material. The Basilica has its own view on why the Gods departed, we feel it was so Man could mature as a people. After all one will forever remain a child if they can simply ask the Gods to solve everything. Non believers say their work was done and they left to forge new realms. We believe we shall see them again when we die. Suffice to say... the historical fact of this is not in question to those who study it, but the reasons why and what it signifies... will be a matter of debate. But the Cataclysm did happen, by magic. Those of us in the Basilica believe it was always the intention of the Gods to open the realms. But... humans in short... fucked it up early." Scoffing a little. "Speaking of which, drinks are available." Gesturing to Ked'Sena by the booze. "Either way, King Freyr the Kind. One of the earliest recorded King's of Helheim. Tyr's Great Grandfather. This was a time when Helheim was still very fearful of magic, fearing another cataclysm. It was a war between Inquisitors... and mages, who felt it was their right. King Freyr sided with the Inquisition, which was the Basilica by another name in those days... and became known as the Kind." Turning the page of his book briefly. "Then we get to the first known recorded instance of contact between Helheim and the Cabbala. Under the reign of Njordr the Imperious. Who ventured into the swamps and him and his knights were attacked. King Njordr was saved by a woman, Lady Tove, historically... the first female Knight of Helheim. Who was later made Queen. So... Knights in Helheim date very far back indeed. Questions so far?" [17:10] Ralathos: arched an eyebrow at the Imp. "Hush, will be drinks afterwards and you can pass around your card then." Not sure what the daft creature was doing in the middle of Helheim but it did amuse him to hear about Imps being beaten. "Tyr's father, Halthor Spurius the Shrewd. Was... by all historical accounts. A stern but excellent King, suffice to say Helheim prospered under his rule and maintained a very strong military. The end. Queen Laya knew him personally, so on and so forth. A prosperous but... somewhat unremarkable period of Helheim's legacy. He also liked hanging criminals. So... one for the Guard to study hm?" Chuckling a little before he continued since apparently there were no questions. "Now we get onto Tyr's rule, the "early years" which for some of Helheim's inhabitance is well within their memory. But for most of you, before your time here. Suffice to say... since the time of Tyr's Grandfather, Njordr, who first encountered the swamp dwellers. Relations did not improve with the Cabbala. Despite Queen Laya's best efforts. A rather well known dragon ruled the Cabbala at this time, big red one. Terrible sense of humor. Those of you who have been to the Cabbala might even have encountered him. Any guesses who I am referring too?" [17:10] Elena Kozma would have loved to get herself some wine from Ked'Sena's stall, alas, she'd set up on the far end of the garden - and the centaur would have to trot her ass past the entire crowd and bowl through people to get to it. Well, she'd just make due with her wineskin, then, reaching to her side for it, uncorking it, and tipping it back for a gulp of wine as she listened to the Sermon - but, she did have a question, and piped up after her wine was had. "Actually, a question, Reclusiarch - knights of the realm seem rare indeed here, rarer still, chivalrous virtue. Were they more common, once, or is that simply how it has always been?" [17:14] Ralathos: glanced to Elena and smiled faintly. "An excellent question, and one close to my heart since I am a Knight of Helheim. We are few in number now yes..." Nodding to her. "Suffice to say, yes they were very common. Most of the early Kings of Helheim relied upon Knights, at one point, before the creation of the modern Helheim Guard.... Helheim's military was a Knightly Order. The Sincadere Knights Watch. So yes... Knightly traditions used to be much more common in Helheim. In fact when I joined the Guard, to be an officer in the Guard, one had to be a Knight." [17:14] Tsuiteru: tsked a few times throughout the sermon, biting her lip here and there. Though, she couldn't help a bit of a snort, then chuckle on the 'humans fucked it up early' part. "And what of King Thrym?" She chimed in with her own question, curious to see how detailed those notes really were! [17:17] Ralathos: smiled faintly to Tsuiteru trying to throw him a curve ball. That amused him. "That would be King Thrym the Great, thank you very much. Dating back to over hundred years ago. Historical records on him are spotty due to him being what is believed.... to be the King who reigned after the Cataclysm. Who first dealt with the influx of creatures and arrivals from other realms. Back when Humans had never seen many of these before. It was under his leadership that Helheim survived, and he is credited by bringing Helheim back to the warning that magic is a corruptive force. And it should be used cautiously." Nodding to her. "The library of the Basilica is quite old. Since the Basilica has existed in some form or another since before and after the Cataclysm." Grinning to her. [17:19] Judge Zyrr: took something from the stand as he bend way down low, eyeing Ked'Sena "thank you" the large being said towards her as it took one of the tiniest mugs and took it with him. Recognizing the event as the public sermon from the basilica. Something that has interested him for quite some time for various reasons. Before settling himself beside Eronia. Noting the basilica has existed before the cataclysm " what is.. the cataclysm? "he'd ask in general [17:28] Ralathos: glanced to the crowd. "By the way, while Queen Laya is mostly known for being the Queen of Helheim. And King Tyr's wife, she plays a very pivitol role in the history of the Kingdom. And is responsible for much of its political history. She is the daughter of the Head Mistress of the CCOA, for any who didn't know." Smiling faintly before he looked to Judge. "The Cataclysm was the opening of the realms, dates back to the very early days of Sincadere. Its what opened up this realm to creatures from all planes of existance and types. Its the defining point in its history." Before he went back to his early point. "Anyway, as I was saying. Back in the early days then of King Tyr's rule. The Cabbala was run by a large dragon called Vaeros. Who... to cut a very long story short, attacked Helheim and the Empire both, after a delegate of Helheim was kidnapped. This lead to a very prolonged war with Helheim, that Helheim endured. And the Empire suffered in. With a truce being forged between the Cabbala and Helheim, and [17:28] Ralathos: the Empire suffering further before peace was found. I highly recommend talking to the Empire about the history of this at a later date." Nodding to them. "Much of what you see in Helheim now... is what was built after those battles since they ravaged the city greatly. Much of it was wood before and well... that doesn't last well in war." [17:32] Jayce: Jayce’s ears perked as Ralathos said something that interested him. “My apologies, but I heard you mention the Basilica’s library earlier.” He began, his thirst for knowledge apparent. “What must one do to gain access to it?” [17:32] Tsuiteru: nodded briefly to Asteri. "Of course.." She murmured, ears perked to listen to how Ralathos handled the question. "Hmm. Your historians are off on that one by almost four hundred years. I was a witness to King Thrym's death, and it was just before my people and I sealed the Empire away not long after its founding." She shook a finger. "But...you are correct on the rest, he did giving plenty warnings about magic being corruptive. And I would very much like to compare historical records... eventually. At some point... if there is ever time." [17:33] Judge Zyrr: took note of all those here, it was very busy as he'd just awoken so he waves groggily a bit towards them. Seeing sequence and elena with a grin both. He wasn't too loud this time around. He always wanted to know about the time before. He'd note down what Ralathos said. The large being seemed confused " i thought it was said that helheim had beeen build by the gods in five days? " he'd ask him. When he heard about wood. " in the time when there were only humans. I thought what we see here, has... oh yes.. the abandoned cathedral outside during another time... "he'd nod a few times. "there is much history, i'm quite sure something that cannot be explained all at once. " while listening about the queen "wait.. the queen also has ties to.. caballa.. but.. why would caballa then attack, royalty .. oh so confused. "he'd rub his beard a couple of times. Lots to take in during his time of arrival. [17:38] Ralathos: he sighed deeply. "So if any wonder where my dislike of the Cabbala comes from. It is simple. Helheim's history, especially its rule under King Tyr. Has been defined by it being the victim of attack after attack. Which continues after the lizard Vaeros settled himself down to live the quiet life. Apparently suffering little to no consequences for his war mongering ways. Although I did take great pleasure in stabbing his mate, and him, during a naval battle between Helheim and the Cabbala." Smirking to himself briefly before he looked to Jayce. "Talk to me after." Nodding to him, before he glanced to Tsuiteru. "Oh, you mean King Thrym the second? A popular misconception, there was more than one. As I said the line of Spurius dates back to before the Cataclysm." Nodding to her with a smile. Before he looked to Judge. "That was pre Cataclysm Judge. You missed the start." Scoffing a little. "After Vaeros removed himself. The a war of succession broke out in the Cabbala, and during this... Helheim was attacked [17:38] Ralathos: again. This time King Tyr himself was kidnapped. Dark times. Don't trust the demons." Nodding to them all. "However, Helheim managed to bribe one of the contenders of the Cabbala leadership to betray the others, and return the King. Which... also put him out of the running. Tsuiteru can tell you his name..." Rolling his eyes briefly. "Which lead to the White Hound running the Cabbala. Although, despite all this attacks. Helheim barely retaliated against the Cabbala. Most of the battles were fought here or int he swamp. Save one. Unfortunate Helheim has always been besieged by demons. Some of you might know the White Hound, Eclipse. And she was indeed the ruler of the Cabbala. But... thanks to Queen Laya... Helheim once again made a truce with the Cabbala. And a dark time fell upon Helheim, as much like recent history. The Cabbala manipulated the peace accords and forced the Empire into debt to Helheim. And suddenly... where Helheim had never declared war on the Cabbala. It was oh so eager to go to war with [17:38] Ralathos: the Empire over money. Despite the Cabbala having launched a war, and stealing the King by this point in history. This lead to the rather pointless, and waste of life that was the Helheim occupation of the Jade Empire. A silly venture, since the one thing Helheim and the Jade Empire have always had in common, is suffering at the hands of the Cabbala." [17:43] Buulzibael raised her glass of wine. "I wonder if there is any correlation between whom Helheim will declare war on and whom Helheim shares family members with." the Devil spoke, an aloof comment on her own thoughts of the matter. Again, she spoke a bit above a whisper, but perhaps not out loud. She liked her job, after all. [17:43] Judge Zyrr: showed indeed he had been late, in this he found shame and seemed to hang his head for a second the scoff being enough admonishment. He continued listening to the public sermon from the basilica held by Ralathos and Ked'Sena regardless. Demons, He had also read the scriptures and history of helheim. "every book I have read admonishes the jade empire though, it reads in such a way that you can't trust the jade empire either. " he'd mention. [17:48] Tsuiteru: chuckled a little at Ralathos. "Perhaps yours was the second. My knowledge of Helheim after during the Empire's seclusion is more muddled than its earlier history when I was still part of the kingdom." Yes. Tsuiteru had -originally- been a member of Helheim. Gasp! She'd fall silent for a while again, listening, until another point piqued her interest. Hmmmm. Now, that version of more recent events was a far cry different of the rhetoric she used to hear in Helheim. "Finally...someone got my fucking point..." She'd mutter. UNDER HER BREATH. Cough. Cough. [17:50] Ralathos: sighed as he turned through the pages of his book. "Now, to be clear. I am not implying that because Queen Laya was the daughter of a Cabbalan, that she was always giving them forgiveness. I am out right stating it. When theVaeros Helheim war broke out and the head Healer of Helheim was kidnapped. Queen Laya didn't fight to free her like the rest of the party did. And... despite the Cabbala's constant war mongering against Helheim. Including destroying the post Cataclysm city made of wood. Kidnapping the King, Kidnapping one of its dignitaries. Helheim has a history of letting them get away with it." He glanced to Judge briefly and smiled faintly. "Queen Laya wrote those books, I recommend you check the authors name." Shrugging his shoulders before he sighed once more. "History marches on, and now we start to see familiar faces being mentioned... so several of you are welcome to check this. Duchess Buu begins to rise to prominence! Who due to ailing health, King Tyr placed Regents to rule alongside the [17:50] Ralathos: Queen and Duchess Buu was one of the advisors to them. Now Field Marshal Tamina, who was then a low ranking Guard arrives. Back then the Guard went to Grand Marshal Eli, who with Tamina and Buu, modernized much of it. Creating what we now know today as the modern Helheim Guard. But then... alas, the Cabbala strike again. They kidnap the Princess of Helheim. Helheim doesn't declare war... unsurprisingly. The Princess is returned eventually, and thus begins the constant harassment, skirmishes and problems that Helheim has faced. With its constant attacks from the Cabbala and raids, and while the skirmishes were fierce... the Guard stretched to near breaking. Helheim endured the demons. But no war, according to official records. Although this period of time is referred to everyone else but Queen Laya, as the second Cabbala War. Which also to some peoples account... has never really ended." Shrugging briefly. "Also... this is where the modern Basilica steps in under Fevren, who lived an unremarkable and quiet life and never said much of anything, save magic was bad. But he did have a prophecy about Helheim. And its future." [17:58] Ralathos: sighed deeply. "The prophecy about the future of Helheim, I have kept largely hidden. Because I, like my predecessor, feared it would be used by people to justify whatever they wished. Twisting its meaning to suit whatever problem of the day was the issue. The prophecy was recorded from a powerful being that was captured in a dungeon. This being had prophetic powers. The prophecy foretells of a great tragedy befalling the land, and Helheim. However... if the Duchess wishes. I shall reveal publicly the prophecy." Nodding to her briefly. [17:58] Tsuiteru: snorts a little. "Their crystal is a problem. Its a big problem, and a major contributor to magic being abused and corruption spreading." Of course, Tsuiteru was bias in her opinion, given the views of the Empire and her own history with the Caballa. She'd huff some under her breath, but as she listened to more and more of Ralathos's sermon....she felt.... vindication. Well, till the whole doom prophecy part. That sucked. [18:02] Elena Kozma gave a soft hem of her lips at Judge's explanation, canting her head aside for a moment. "Interesting - I had just assumed you were /like/ that." Elena gave a brief shrug of her shoulders, well, pleased to have it explained to her, certainly, she'd gone all this time thinking Judge was just a bit on the slow side. At mention of that crystal in the Cabbala, Elena breathed a soft huff. "A change for the better, no doubt, their ilk will bring another cataclysm upon us, no doubt." She sent those words Vigil's direction, before she returned to listening to the sermon, and, well, now talk of 'prophecy.' That brought a look of concern across her features - were times really so dire that Ralathos would speak openly on something of that magnitude? Elena shifted about on her hooves uncomfortably, braided tail batting at her flanks, curious, certainly, but worried. [18:02] Buulzibael twirled her wine for a moment, raising a brow as Ralathos brought up the prophecy, then asked her for permission to read it out. She'd muse, in thought, before simply giving an aloof shrug. "Well, seeing as the books clearly suggest King Tyr and Queen Laya to rule whilst I *advise* them, I do not see it my place to deny you read any prophecies the Basilica have uncovered, Reclusiarch." She motioned for him to continue, and took a sip of her wine. She was clearly feeling a bit stung. [18:06] Ralathos: sighed a little. "Given the second war of the Cabbala, has in mine, and other peoples opinions never stopped. The raids never stopped, most recently the attack on the docks, the constant crimes, the intrusions. The attack on lower and upper Helheim. Recently the Basilica in this very square was attacked. The Warlord of the Horde flying here and attacking by herself a month or so ago. The Guard tower being blown up. The Cabbala manipulating events to force the Jade Empire and Helheim to War again. And all this time... the Cabbala sits unpunished. Despite two wars against Helheim. Kidnapping the King and the Royal family multiple times that I could not even list them all. The Guard tower, still gone thanks to them. Helheim suffers... yet never blames or acts against the Cabbala. Never forget, demons are our enemy." He looked to Vigil. "And now you tell they have constructed a magical artifact that threatens to destroy the world if disturbed, a second Cataclysm. What joy." Sighing and shaking his head. "And people think I am a zealot because I can read a history book." Tisking a little. "The prophecy is as follows..." Clearing his throat. [18:08] Vigil MacLeod: || "It aint a /construct/, Ralathos. Crystals like that are naturally occurin' things." He grunted out flatly, before shaking his head. "Y'know full well that I o' all people have little love fer creatures o' th'night. But this is a matter that would require a scalpel as opposed tae a hammer." [18:09] Ralathos: read from the book. "From the enslaved populace, songs, Chants and demands While princes and lords are held captive in prisons. These will in the future by headless idiots Be received as divine prayers. The blood of the blessed will commit a fault in Sincadere, Burnt through lightning and overuse of magic: The gracious lady will fall from her high place, Several of the same sect will be killed. The great ruler will be struck down in the day by a thunderbolt, An evil deed foretold by the bearer of the Axiom. According to the prediction, another falls at night time. Conflict at the crossroads, witnessed by the dwellers of the forest. Through all things, dire and terrifying, the guidance of the Basilica, the spokepeople of the gods Will Sincadere survive and prosper." Ralathos sighed. "This dates back to before my time in the Basilica, to before I even arrived in Helheim. It is in the records, kept in the library of the castle. Even mentioned in the old Basilica Benedictions if one looks. I didn't write this, it predates most of us here. Suffice to say... it warns of much. Cryptic though. It was kept hidden, because Blood of the Blessed, was always thought to refer to the line of Spurius. Since as I mentioned, they date back to the holy time of the Gods. In the early days. However... Helheim is troubled. We shall see what happens. But as the bearer of the Axiom, which is the Basilica code for those that do not know. I speak the warning... beware the Cabbala. Helheim's true enemy." Before he snapped the book shut. |
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