Sincadere Summer 08/08/2022
Oh dear reader, what delicious news I have for your on this day. The kind of tidings that would make you sharpen your claws and polish those nasty fangs. For you see, not a week ago a foolish troupe of the Jade Lotus Empire’s finest, yet apparently brain death, brawlers came into the caves to spew their poisonous words. Self-proclaim champions of light, seeking to make a name for themselves. A name that will come forth to claw them in the ass. When words fell short, this bold company dared to capture our very own and attempted to cleanse them, to make them bend a knee and submit to those cowards that dwell high in the sky. Such boldness, such bravado, clearly is not the act of a lone rouge group. No, my dear deviants, this was a sanctioned enterprise. For all we know it was blessed by the emperor himself. Seems the zapping eel that claims rule on the sky had forgotten the time when he crept around the caves; but worry not, if he had forgotten it, it is our duty to humble him. So rise strong and wild, be that dragons, beasts, devils, demons or else; it matters not, the Archon calls into arms, the Cabbala needs your might. It was not us who took the first bite, but by Darkness and Night we will be the ones that tear them apart. But not all is bloodshed, ash, and dust, my good readers, as you know the Cabbala Chronicle takes pride to spread only the truth, and the truth alone, we are your unbiased, incorruptible source of information, your voice! Sort to speak, don’t get any funny ideas. It is no surprise that we now receive ravens from the furthest corners of Sincadere. Such an enlightening correspondence, filled with reports that are too succulent to be phony or false. Accounts that we now place on our brand-new segment: Rumors Bloody Rumors. Never say love is unbecoming of our dark caves. In a note hastily written by someone called “Dark and Fiery” we have received confirmation of an event that took its bloody time to unravel. Our dear elder, Eclipse, the White Hound, has finally been mated on a ceremony filled with blood, passion, and lust. A rocky road that begun with a threat, concludes it’s chapter with loud moans. Not bad for the curvaceous granny. May her mate, a braggart by the name of Runeh, keep her filled to the brim at night. Ah! Love, what a subject to dissect and study. Apparently, it spreads like a disease. Speaking of ailments, the king of Hellheim has been missing for some time, his court has been running around like headless chickens trying to manage the kingdom. Where oh where could King Tyr be?. Well a bard that boast the title of “The Great” wrote to us. Apparently, the heart of King Tyr is being stolen by no other than the Archon of the caves, they had been seen wooing and exchanging quite personal gifts. Perhaps he had eloped to strengthen his pure blood line with the worthy faun. Oh! Rejoice Basilica! For through the next King of Hellheim’s veins may run pure Cabbalan blood no less. Before I let you go, I would like to thank on behalf of our multiple and literate staff to the brand-new Slumlord, and her idea of placing some adds here and there. Our humble newspaper could not survive without the coin soon to be provided by her pouch, many thanks to her trust, and hope she does not catch in flames once our bill is promptly delivered. Cabbala Chronicles Adverts
And as always, dear reader, sleep with one eye open. - R. Hangfire Comments are closed.
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