The past week (and more) has been eventful in the Empire. Here is a report, for you, on events that have transpired in the recent days and weeks.
And in upcoming events and rumors around the Empire:
The Three Pillars and Jade Research Commission Guilds are looking for active members!
Action report 17-JUL:
I beg leave, here, to acquaint you, that upon the seventeenth of July, His Majesty’s Ship Avalon was engaged in action against a great creature of unfathomable destruction. I am proud to report that the crew aboard acquitted themselves most courageously in the face of the adversary, and preserved the good name of the Naval Service. Let me then recount the events of the day’s action. Having arrived at the location of which had been predetermined for our voyage, and the special compliment having departed for their mission, Captain Ralathos, in his good mind, ordered us to clear for action, so that we may have an hour’s exercise at the guns. He thought it prudent that the crew was well prepared, and the guns run out, in case it were needed that we should provide support for the special compliment. Having beat to quarters, and concluding the exercise, we were beset upon by a large beast, bearing many tentacles, much akin to the legendary kraken. Having the good fortune of being already cleared for action, we made good time in replying to the threat. The good Captain Ralathos, having been preoccupied with the command of other persons of the special contingent, to the defense of the ship, the honor then fell to me to command the general crew, and battery of guns. The beast closed a-midships, intending to carry the action by means of assault. Several initial attacks were warded off by the special contingent, whilst the marine detachment, at my request, began opening fire with their firelocks from the quarterdeck and tops. The beast however did not relent, and so at the Captain ordered us to deliver our broadside. With the ship’s batteries at my command, we then laid into the beast with our larboard guns, our twelve and twenty four pounders being used to great effect in repelling the beast. I personally took it upon myself to bring to bear, the forty-two pounder carronades of the Forecastle battery. The action then lasted two hours, upon which the beast was eventually slain, and the carcass taken as a prize. The action having concluded, and at Captain Ralathos’s orders, we made sail for port, our main mast having been destroyed, having being cut loose in the action, and in desperate need of repairs. I beg permission to bring to the attention of my Lords Commissioners of the Admiralty, the conduct of the undermentioned Men, who showed themselves in such a way to bring great success to the action of 17 July, of which valor had been personally witnessed by my person. It should be noted Asteri did well acquit himself in the action, by leaping upon the beast, to better deliver injury. His action displayed valor, and commitment to his duty, above and beyond what shall be expected of a sailor or mariner. Furthermore, I could not in good conscience fail to convey the bravery and resolve of Karliyah Branwynn, who having lost her hat, did not lose her head, and continued to deliver fatal blows to the beast. It was witnessed that she did many times, despite injury to her person, continued to ward off the beasts attacks, and saved the lives of many sailors and mariners aboard through the vaillant defense of her station. It shall here also be noted the actions of Ada and Korin, to which the pair did bravely engage the beast, and which no other pair that I can recount, is able to fight so well together. Their pursuit of slaying the beast ultimately lended to the success of the action. The prime minister who was also present at the action demonstrated her resolve to uphold not only her civic duty, but also her duty to her fellow countrymen, and took up arms in defense of the latter. As well as the others of the special contingent that are not mentioned in this report. It should not be neglected to explain that those not personally mentioned did equally execute their duties with bravery and personal courage, and it is my regret that I do not have the time to mention every instance of heroism. I write this report in the belief that both the good Captain Ralathos, and I are of the same mind on the events of the action, and through the Strict and Unwavering commitment of the sailors and mariners, and actions fought by His Majesty’s Ship Avalon, and the men and women of her company, the seas of Nascentina can again be considered a haven for all shipping whom fly the Colours of His Majesty. - Colonel Iolanthus Aqentre P.S. I beg your pardon for the formatting of this report, as it is being written aboard Avalon, whilst underway, and delivered via mail ship to hasten its arrival. The Jade Research Commission hosts a regular War Games for any that wish to sharpen their battle tactics and test their skills of warfare. The JRC hosts a game regularly and invites people from across the realm, regardless of affiliations. Did you know you can also challenge another group to a War Game? For a modest fee, you can challenge your rivals to a game of war with the JRC's War Game Fort...without all that pesky destruction of your own towns and villages. If interested in hosting your own War Game, contact the Jade Paragon and Daimyo of the Jade Research Commission, Aura-Rah. You can find the Jade Research Commission on one of the lower islands within the floating Imperial Village of the Jade Lotus Empire. Ask any Nekoyami, and they can take you there. This week's War Games came with a special twist! Aethelu, Agnes, and Lexwyn of the defending team had taken a very, very special 'princess' hostage! Yes, that is right, the Emperor played the part of the part of the pretty princess in this week's War Game scenario. And who were the brave souls that assaulted the fort in a heroic effort to rescue the 'princess'? That would be Leao, Sai Hu, and Mimic! The Dastardly Defenders and Keepers of the 'Princess' The Brave Heroes, Saviors of the 'Princess' It was a close fight between both teams, but ultimately... the 'Princess' was rescued. Rumor has it, that Leao stole a kiss from the lovely 'princess' and was... zapped. Great job to both teams, and congrats to the winners of this round's War Games! Enjoy those medals, and keep winning to earn more!
As reported by GGN Goblin Gossip Network. The Multifarious Monthly Review makes no claims that the Goblin GOSSIP Network is a reliable news source. Articles are posted with minor edits for spelling and grammar but not reviewed for content. The Multifarious Monthly Review does not accept any financial burden that results in the GGN's reporting practices. It is with a heavy heart that we announce the passing of Snetcharella, one of the line of Snetch-Goblins known for their journalistic integrity and dedication to the truth. Taking her place is Snetchatron, who will be reporting on the recent Bards vs Bands event where once again Goblins displayed that we know wot's wot when it comes to the fine arts. . . . Snetcharella looked behind her for the fourth time since arriving for the interview. She wasn't nervous about being in the Cabbala particularly but the LAST interview she'd tried to do she'd been basically shanked by an overzealous fan of the Meatbeatles. She would not let her guard down again.
"Thank you for meeting with me, Mz Locks, I'm excited to report on your resounding defeat at the Bards vs Bands event against Sincadere's beloved 'boy band' the Meatbeatles. I assure you that this interview will be entirely unbiased, the Goblin Gossip Network is all about hard hitting journalism." She paused, adjusting her hair and confirming with a glance that her assistant was paying attention before turning back to Ashley and starting the interview. "So... which is your favourite Meatbeatles song?" Clears her throat has she spots the two goblins approaching up to her while she was having an ale in the bound elf. Looking up reminiscent to the stage there was a certain high that's hard to obtain off of it. Looking down to snetcharella she was a great actor and was totally just going to along with it. The bard looking has if she if trying to fight a back a tear but one drops down into her ale. "Well...." she sucked in a deep breathe tuning over to look at her "It wasn't until the next night after that I find myself laying in my bed late at night, trying to sleep. Tossing and turning without a true moments rest when I finally slip into a dream it becomes a nightmare. Has the near naked Mick dagger appears screaming COME ON SNAGA LETS GO GAGA! Then I wake up! In a cold sweat thinking I'm safe and back to reality, until I look over to the window. Spotting a bird with the head of Mick Dagger tapping its beak against the glass repeating in a mocking manner "No Refunds, No Refunds," Then it hits me! Another tragedy of the night neither of us thought to charge the audience a cover charge! We both could of cleaned up nicely even at one copper a head. Snetcharella was pulled in by Ashley's gripping tale and then tsk-tsk'd at the news that neither had thought to charge a cover. "That is tragic, indeed... speaking of nightmares... how are you faring after having your ass handed to you by four goblins?" This was the hard hitting journalism the readers of the GGN really wanted. At least that's what Snetcharella's assistant thought, and recorded for posterity. "Pay attention," Snetcharella hissed at her assistant before turning back to Ashley. "Is it true that you pursued Mick Dagger?" she let that hang in the air a moment, hopefully leading Ashley to think of the day she tracked Mick down for his Bounty, before she added quickly, "and now you'll be bearing his love child?" Paused has she listened to the first set of questions. She stifled a giggle after the second round of questions happened. Clearing her throat and regaining her composure, starting from the top. " Well, the thing about goblins while one is easy to punt. When you walk into a cage full of them they are ferocious little fucks. While your trying to kick one, the other trying to punch you in the cunt." The bard chuckled not too phased by it. "What was really disorienting about the experience, they continued to sing in perfect sync. Even when Mick had his teeth in my neck. Getting my ass kicked isn't new though, its a hazard of being a bard. That's also why I hired the horde, which they failed to protect me. They still managed to clean the tusks out of their without issue." Twisting her lips and drinking down the rest of her ale. "Yes." The bard just let that hang in the air. It may not of been true but it was sure going to be entertaining. "It all started the night after the competition. Seeing the heart of a true performer, mixed with the guile of skilled grifter. I knew I just had to have him. I left my apartment in helheim and snuck through the night to the tusks camp. It was rather easy sneaking past the guards. I threw some chickens infront of them and let their natural desires do the rest. Then afterwards I crept through the grotto and to where Mick slept. It was such a cute endearing sight he had big bag of coins. That Mick put a dress on it and called it Yisu has he slept. At the bottom of the bag there was a peculiar hole labeled -deposits-. It took a slightly disturbing turn. But such a welcomed development for my goal. I casted a charm on him, which is easier on the sleeping. Has I saw the green bean gain a slightly rigged stiffness. I pilfered the bag of coin and laid next to him. It wasn't long till his urges and desires for Yisu led him...to well you know. The disappointing thing I didn't feel a thing. After he finished ... within seconds. I left the camps, I imagine it'll be just under few months. I bring Micassley Dagger into the world to perform and steal. We'll make all the gold in the land. I will also constantly taunt yisu I conceived Micks child before her." The bard tone grew more serious and leaning forward. "It's also with this announcement, an exclusive update. I hear by challenge the Kabuki Cat Troop to perform against me. This time the battle will be done in the form of a short play." Snetcharella stared on, once backhanding her assistant in the thigh to make sure she got every gorey detail. "Mickastly Dagger? solid name," she murmured more to herself. Honestly, she was stumped. How did one take this a notch higher? Had Ashley outdone her in the drama department? No doubt Snetcharella could FEEL her assistant plotting to take over the journalist spot... just one more fuck up and the role was h- "Hsst," Snetcharella's hiss got the assistant's attention once more. As the goblin reporter turned back to Ashley, she casually adjusted her hair like she wasn't freaking out on the inside. Then Ashley dropped the bomb about the Kabuki Cat Troupe and Snetcharella choked on her own tongue. She turned purple in the face, whether from lack of air or from outright indignation, either way it wasn't looking good for the goblin. The bard watched with a sick grin on her face. Her stories and the breaking news must being too much for the goblin reporter. Has she watched them turning purple in the face. The bard casually grabbed her flintlock from underneath her cape. Aiming it towards Snatcharella's head and pulling the trigger. Blowing off the top off of her head off before she could kill herself. Turning to look over to the goblin assistant. "Looks like you got your promotion! Such a wonderful break and now go finish publishing the article. Tell Mick I also am expecting him to pay me for our child." The bard using her cape to wipe the goblin blood and brains off her face. It was Nekoyami Appreciation Day this past Sunday! A time for the Empire to give back to their faithful, hardworking, and ever cheerful feline citizens. If not for their diligence and dedication to all the work they do around the Empire, we would not be the thriving and lively society we are today. Arianrhod, the Brewer Bunny, of Moonsong Brewery welcomed the many, many felines of the Empire, Nekoyami and otherwise, to the brewery on the special day for a very special taste testing of their new Mouser's Matcha Brew.
According to the gossip from the Nekoyami, this brew was ...fantastic, with traces of catnip. There was a massive turnout of Nekoyami to the brewery, including.. and again.. this is by report of the cats, the BUFFEST Nekoyami ever to be seen. A drawing of him in the throng of cats has been included in the report, and I must say...this is the largest Nekoyami ever seen. Chaos ensued when someone tossed a ball of yarn into the crowd, and supposedly...the cats went wild. There was rumor of one cat trying to arrange a.. panty raid? I..for one.. am glad to see that the Nekoyami had a fun filled day of booze, catnip, and celebration. In other news, in further appreciation for their hard work, the Nekoyami have been sent on vacation! After delivering a letter of reparations and supplies to Duchess Buulzibael for damages to a bridge in Helheim, the Nekoyami were released to vacation in the city. I have heard they are having the time of their little nine lives around the city -- exploring, playing, and doing what Nekoyami do best -- work, work, work. Welcome to today's Bounty Broadsheet. Here's how this works.
Blackfire, ((shasta.silverfall)) Armed and dangerous. Wanted alive for crimes against Helheim and the Basilica. Often spotted in the JLE. The reward is 5s. Daelan Calion, ((aternity.resident)). Wanted for skipping out on a bar tab with an unknown individual. The reward is 2s. Interested in having someone captured? Place a Bounty yourself!
Gentle reader,
The days grow longer and the nights warmer and yet I find that the activity of the realm wanes as though the heat of the summer saps the very strength from our marrow. It has been over a year since I began the endeavor of editing this fine publication and yet I still struggle to find a worthy soul to take on the responsibility and, dare I say, power, of managing the Helheim Herald! Allow me to elucidate for you what such a project entails. As a junior editor of my beloved Review you are responsible for providing content once or twice a month for the enjoyment of the realm. You may do this by putting pen to paper yourself or by hiring others to do so. Perhaps your writers focus on a particular topic... News of the realm, Sports (such as Jousting or Beetle Racing), 'Advice' of some kind. But it is you, the editor, who decides what is published and what is rejected. ((The only other "job" is verifying that consent has been obtained from anyone whose character is mentioned in the article. You then forward the article to Lossehellin to be posted on the Review)). Should anyone wish to publish without officially signing on as a writer in your employ... that, again, falls under your purview. So it seems to me that there is a great deal of power for very little effort. I have also heard from quite reliable sources that King Tyr of Helheim has portioned an amount from the royal coffers to pay said editor... though details of that pay have so far been elusive to this editor. Gentle reader, do you seek power, fortune and perhaps even fame? Then reach out to me and make yourself known! ((Contact Lossehellin in SL or on Discord)) M. Noteworthy Sincadere Summer 27/06/2022 It has been a while. Has it not, my dear readers? I bet you thought you could finally rest and sleep under a myriad of colorful dreams. Think again. While you wrap on your blankets and enjoyed your soft beddings, the ever-watchful eye of the Cabbala has been standing on that dark corner, always vigilant, with its tendrils softly brushing your hairs. Yet silence must be finally broken, for on this past month culture has been oozing from the caves as pus from a festered wound, and what better way to do so that with joyous fanfare. If you did not heard the lutes and drums, you truly are deaf and deserve to be thoroughly chained and spanked. You see dear reader, the Bound Elf Tavern became the center of a most magnificent event, a true duel of wits, good taste, and craft. The grand battle of Bards Vs Bands, a musical concert with a healthy dose of stabs. The stage set. A most magnificent cage, where our bard Ashley the Great stood lute in hand to face the most vile of challengers the surface could muster, The Meatbeatles. The proud minstrel of the caves used her most creative arsenal, such finely crafted repertoire, singing notes to the Gorgon and asking the audience if they like her not. The Meatbeatles were no match for her notes. Ashley's elegant, yet toneless voice not only destroyed most of the attendance eardrums, her refined ballads also outdid the goblin performance. It was only when the goblin lead known as Mick chose violence over melody that the show truly reach it's peak. For what is culture if not inflamed passions that lead to shady knife dance. Speaking of high art, passions, and dexterity with sharp objects. It is to be noted that our Warden hosted the very first sculpture contest in Sincadere. An event that let our claws and minds run wild as the contestants carved their will on wood, clay, flesh, bone, and stone alike. A most marvelous exhibit of visual art displayed for anyone with the gift of sight. After careful deliberation and a good measure of lewd judgment our Warden made her pick. It was Agnes sculpture: "The Prophesized Demise of Tyr: Crotchfruint of Halthor", the one that will steal her heart, and of course made us all gasp in delight. Carefully crafted by the claws of the merfolk, its seductive shape, displaying the most rigid frame and sharp edges, would entice anyone to try and touch it. But beware, for as with many things crafted by sirens and merfolk, true beauty usually forebode death and demise.
Art takes many forms dear reader and all are welcome in the caves, know that it is in the Cabbala were passions are foster with extreme care. So, sleep tight tonight, drink a night cap, and wrap yourself on fluffy blankets. From that dark corner we will watch your sleep, planning to use your silken skin as canvas on another night. Sweet nightmares, and as always, sleep with one eye open. R. Hangfire Aura-Rah, Paragon of the Jade Lotus, and Daimyo of the Jade Research Commission, calls on all able bodied adventures to the Research Commission's expedition camp set up on the outskirts of the crater beneath the floating islands of the Jade Lotus Empire. You can start your expedition by picking up a report from the meeting table in the center of the camp.
Report: “Kaiju sightings have occurred in the immediate area. The sightings have occurred directly south of this location within the crater by a nekoyami claiming to be the king of the rock? Directly north scouts resting at the camp reported odd happenings at the nearby river. Lastly to the west again there were reports of scouts noting odd movement along the river. Please investigate each of these leads, it is recommended to do so in squads of two or three. If contact is made with the creature your first priority is to document behavior and it’s affect on the land. Engage with extreme caution as the prior documented Kaiju is extremely dangerous and volatile, prolonged exposure to the beasts vicinity has also cause severe illness, nausea, and fatigue over the course of a few days. Documentation and retreat heavily advised until further documentation can occur. Be aware the area is somewhat patrolled by orcish hunting parties. It is not out of the ordinary for these parties to be hostile. Good luck and report back your findings to the Paragon or Owslathaf.” --Signed, Aurah-Rah, Paragon, Jade Research Commission It is suggested and highly encouraged that you do not attempt to investigate these Kaiju sightings alone, as they are extremely dangerous and hostile creatures. Bring all documented information of your expedition to the Jade Research Commission. Good luck! Welcome to today's Bounty Broadsheet. Here's how this works.
Countess Tamina Aurora, ((Sarraah Epin)) This is a high risk target. Contract specifies "roughing her up". The reward is 60c.
Hatano Katsumi, ((amiru.verne)). Extreme caution advised. Do not trust the belly fluff, it's a trap. The reward is 5s. |
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